Basically, what the title says. On the second of next month, I will have been sober for four years. Alcohol only, I've never taken any other drug nor even smoked. I am proud of myself for having quit, and certainly don't miss feeling constantly broke, sick, and ashamed. But I will admit that of late, I have been passing bars and thinking 'oh, if I could only have just the one......'. I know from bitter experience that moderation doesn't work for me (I truly admire moderate drinkers, but I can never be one of them )
I suppose what I really regret is not the alcohol itself, but the feeling of relaxation that settling in with a drink for the evening gave me. Oddly enough, this feeling is more intense at this time of year, summer is less problematic because I don't really like strong sunshine so sitting in the sun with drinks was never my favourite (although I did a fair amount of it anyway!!) I just kind of wish I was the sort of person who could be content with just one or two, but I should probably just be proud of myself that I realised I had a problem and then fixed it.