Is this a good amount of play?

[Tellmeifimwrong]

My dc are 9 and 11 (just started high school), I'm a knackered single parent, and we live in the middle of a city. I've been more and more dismayed at the little time they want to spend playing/socialising and the increasing time they want to be on devices. I think I have an idealistic, old fashioned view of childhood and I can be quite anti tech. So I'd like to get opinions on whether this is reasonable and how it compares with other dc.

In the summer, we are often outdoors, camping, at festivals, on holidays etc. Screen time might be 2-3 hours a day (1-2 hours at the very start of the day when they wake up and I'm sleeping) and 1 at the end of the day. On a rainy day at home it would be more. I invite their friends over and insist on them playing outside or take them to the park etc rather than sitting indoors.

In the winter is when I worry about screen time more. I make them go out and knock on friends doors on dry days, but often their friends don't want or aren't allowed to play out. We still do active things like swimming or climbing but on wet school holiday days (like this week) they could spend half a day or more just playing Minecraft or watching Netflix. Their other interests (Lego, drawing etc) seem to be lessening as they get older and that might be totally normal but I'd like to hear opinions please. I feel like I spend a lot of time and energy getting them off devices and back outdoors!

And the knackered single parent bit is relevant because I feel like a) I don't have the time or energy to play with them or encourage more play and b) the screen time at 7am on weekends and holidays is reasonable

Bump

It's not nice to play outside when it's cold and wet so I understand them not wanting to go out.

Can't you just turn the Wi-Fi off during the day to encourage creativity?

My kids are younger than yours so I really can’t comment on whether your experience is normal/ok etc but what I will say is starting off the day on a screen isn’t great. Screen time stimulates a dopamine response in your brain which is why they are so addictive, starting the day with this easy rush of dopamine affects your ability to focus on other things which is why it becomes such a cycle (because you don’t stimulate that rush in the same way with many other activities which require focus).

I think if you could encourage that hour or two in the morning to be more focussed on reading, drawing etc (like I say, my kids are younger so not sure what preteens are in to!) then the rest of the day will follow more easily.
Obviously screens are here to stay but they need healthy habits.

Mine are similar ages and I'm finding the same. Not wanting to go out as much, wanting more screen time, not drawing as much etc.

I'm quite strict with screen time though.
I don't like screen time first thing as we found they got up earlier just for that (DH however, if he's home allows it).
In the holidays I usually work on the basis they have to do something sensible, something helpful, something together and (weather permitting ) something outside before I let them have screens.

something sensible, something helpful, something together and (weather permitting ) something outside before I let them have screens I quite like this idea, might borrow it. They are generally very good kids, helpful to me and each other, and we do lots together and with friends. But a wet day is a looooong time to fill!!

What screen does 9 yo have?

Id get rid.

I wouldn't allow any screens in bedrooms at all - no going on phones etc at 7am when they wake up. Why can't they read or something instead?

You are the adult, just impose some restrictions on when they can be on screens.

My nieces and nephews are 12-14 and how their time is filled is:

• hobbies: dance, music practise, sport etc
• crafty type stuff - cooking/baking, one does a lot of drawing & painting
• friends - meeting/hanging out with friends. If their friends aren't allowed to "play out" can they come round/go to their house? Or be taken to places like swimming/leisure centres
• board/card games
• reading: books, magazines etc

Just a bit of balance but I'm in my mid 30s and it sounds like I had a similar (maybe even less outdoorsy) childhood to your kids and turned out fine, never overweight, did well at school. [Edit - Just mentioned my age to show screentime is not a Modern thing]

I had a gameboy (remember those?) given to me aged 9 and I spent hours on it when it was bad weather, but also spent whole days in the summer holidays out rollerblading, wild swimming etc.

I think you have the balance completely fine.

One idea could be to give your kids an outdoor thing that needs working on as a skill like rollerblades or a skateboard. They'll actually want to go out and practise using it till they're good at it.

Ps I remember rollerblading in the pouring rain because I so badly wanted to get good at it. I remember the rain sloshing off the wheels leaving a wake. So that's my main tip!

My dd (only age 3 tbf) really wants to get the hang of her scooter and keeps asking to use it in the rain so it's a bit like that

I understand that you dont want too much screen time but I think sometimes we tie ourselves in knots over these things. Is there really anything wrong with a rainy afternoon spent watching Netflix?

The 1-2 hours of screen time in the morning IS me imposing restrictions. I'm happy with it as it means I get a lie in, once I'm up we start doing things, making breakfast etc.
Dry days, summer holidays aren't the problem - it's the winter that I worry about. But maybe I am tying myself in knots over a non problem.