Advice relationship/abortion

[heavyheart87]

Firstly I am well aware of how this shouldn't have happened. Not here for critism for advice.

I found out recently I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I decided to have an abortion.

I stand by my decision however it has been a difficult decision for me. Black and white thinking for him with no emotion. Almost unbothered.

He went away with the lads for a weekend there and left me to go through abortion alone.

We are in our 30s and have been together 4 years.

AIBU for feeling totally abandoned by him. I feel so hurt and rejected and I am questioning the validity of our relationship.

I am also aware my hormones are all over the place and unsure if I am over reacting. Reason for post to reach clarity.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Big red flag

You have made a really tough decision and whilst we can all say ‘ men don’t experience the hormones or the abortion’ therefore they don’t understand, it is strange he didn’t think to stay with you or consider what it looks like ( as he goes off to be with the boys whilst you abort)
When you are stronger - I think you should consider this relationship.
Sorry but he let you down - you deserve better

The chips were down and he was out the door and down the hall. Men like this don't change, and this kind of self-absorption doesn't come out of nowhere. I'm sure he has form.

I don't feel relief only sadness sorounding situation.

That sound awful I hope you feel ok now. How horrible.

Dump. Him. Now.

I'm so sorry you were on your own when you needed support. 💐

Wow just wow. I hope you're ok. So sorry you had to go through this alone. No so sure what you're struggling with more unsupportive partner or the abortion. Either way I hope you'll be fine and some of the responses will help you. I never had an abortion so can't comment on that but if I did I'd want/expect my partner to be there without asking him. But u already know that that's why your post. Hope it gave u a bit of clarity.

He has shown you, very clearly, who he is.

This will be your life if you stay with him.

Difficult birth, sleepless nights with babies, early nursery drop-offs and rushing to collect, illness, perhaps even a serious ¹illness or cancer somewhere down the line - whatever life throws at you, it'll all be down to you.

Think carefully whether this is what you want!

I am very emotionless when it comes to abortions or miscarriage because I just feel what is meant to be will be. I never understand women that get so upset over these things.
However he is completely out of order not at least being with you when having an abortion and the aftermath.
It would make me question the relationship

Thanks everyone. Your responses have been very helpful. I do feel I deserve better and if it was the other way around I know where I would have been without a doubt. I just didn't want to be making a decision without others perspective. It worried me I was being selfish The other situations have not been as major and I have managed to brush them off. I have not seen him since he went away with the lads..At my request. I don't want him to suffer though so I guess it's time to bring things to an end. Can't thank you all enough for taking time to post.

Life is full of ups and downs. No point of being with someone if they aren’t there for the tough stuff.
I would say a termination can be very tough thing for a woman to go through. Your partner showed you who he is, believe him.

The man is trash. He has you thinking you’re ‘selfish’ for hoping for bare minimum, basic human decency. Never again allow some shitty bloke to treat you so badly, never accept such a low quality male in to your life again.
This specimen deserves dumped by text, no arguments needed. ‘I’m no longer attracted to you, the relationship is over. Pick up your stuff on Saturday.’

Well put. I have sent a text.

@heavyheart87 Good decision.

Don't get sucked into discussion or an argument. It'll only turn into attacks on you for being unreasonable, etc. Then you'll doubt yourself, think you're over reacting, etc. Don't look back. You deserve so much better. And know what? You'll get it! 😊