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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Early pregnancy and job offer

5 replies

SCH20 · 25/10/2023 20:27

Have been interviewing for a new role for a while (started conversations in July) and am now expecting an offer later this week. Very exciting. Only hitch is that I’m now 7.5 weeks pregnant. By the time I work 3 months notice, I’m going to be pretty pregnant (if all works out). I feel uncomfortable not saying anything, but would I be shooting myself in the foot if I do? My instinct is to be very honest if I get the offer and let them know.

OP posts:
Nevermind31 · 25/10/2023 20:39

What maternity benefits will you be entitled to in your old job vs your nee one (unless it is the same company)?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 25/10/2023 20:49

Yes it might be worth staying in current job

Callmemummynotmaaa · 25/10/2023 20:58

I’ve just done this. Interviewed (for a promotion) long before I knew about pregnancy, found out I got the role the same week I found out about bump. I’ve had a lot of losses, so talked it through with my partner and decided to take the role.

I’d a long notice period (4 months). So have worked it and just started in post at 25 weeks and told my new employers this week. They are (understandably) not thrilled but they’ve been kind/accepting of it (which is understandable as it will leave the department short staffed. There’s a high vacancy rate in what I do so while they will advertise the post they are unlikely to fill it). I’ll also be entitled to Mat. leave (but it’s absolutely something to triple check).

Clearly I chose NOT to share, I attended some training days and actively hid my pregnancy. The reality is that my contract could easily have been withdrawn
(“oh sorry the post’s funding has been altered”/“projects changed”) or any other excuse used to not honor their offer, and long-term…I’ve earned the role. I’m excited to be working in it.

However, I suspect what works for you depends on the environment, your team and your circumstances BUT don’t let guilt make a decision for you. It’s ok to be pregnant and want to progress your career!

I always read on these posts to tell them, but the stats about maternity discrimination say otherwise. And again often the argument is made that if work respond in a way that’s not favorable, then it’s likely not a team you’d like to work for anyways. Yet, in my line of work, those choosing to withdraw the contract would be people I’d never had to deal with on a daily basis!

SCH20 · 26/10/2023 21:18

Thanks all - mat leave at the current company is only 6 weeks enhanced and then statutory, so not walking away from much, and I’ve negotiated a sign on which would cover the loss.

@Callmemummynotmaaa thank you so much - that’s incredibly helpful. I think I’m not going to bring it up yet (long story - have had 2 miscarriages this year already and this one unfortunately isn’t looking that positive after a scan today) because if the pregnancy doesn’t work out I don’t want to have shot myself in the foot and risked this opportunity

OP posts:
Callmemummynotmaaa · 27/10/2023 00:08

Oh Op I’m sorry for your losses. Sending hopeful thoughts and hugs your way. Hope you can take care of yourself over the next few days and weeks. Wishing you luck with the new role and with bump x

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