I'm a tired mum to a three year old and I need more respite. I'm still with the father, but I'm my son's primary caregiver in that I do pretty much everything (feed him, change him, dress him, bathe him, get him ready for bed, do the whole bedtime routine, read a story etc., get up during the night when he wakes). He attends daycare during the week while I work from home full time, and although my job is fairly relaxed, I do all the cleaning, washing up, and I share the cooking with my husband. My husband works night shifts 3-4 nights a week, and he has Fridays and Saturdays off. If he needs to sleep, I have to take the bus to bring my son to and from daycare since I don't drive. If my husband drives, I'm the one who usually has to drop off/collect my son, since he doesn't like going inside. All I want is an occasional night off and to sleep in the next day. My son tends to wake between 5-6am, and I don't get him off to sleep until 9pm most nights. My husband has tried to let me sleep in at weekends, but my son just comes looking for me, or my husband gets flustered and needs my help. I'm also usually the one to bring my son to the playground at weekends.
I feel low on energy and burnt out, and since I have no family here (I moved abroad to be with my husband), I only really get a break if my in-laws (they live a 15 minute car ride away) agree to take care of my DS, but I don't have the best of relationships with them, and my husband rarely asks them to look after DS. I'm thinking of giving my husband an ultimatum, that this Friday, he either picks up DS from daycare and brings him to his parents, and he stays with them for the night to allow me to rest at home, or he arranges with his parents for them to babysit DS for the night. Or, if he disagrees with those options, I book myself a hotel room, and he can stay home and look after DS. AIBU? All I want is one night off, to relax in the evening, have a night of uninterrupted sleep, and wake up naturally the next day!
The last time I tried to do this, my husband accused me of 'abandoning' DS, but I really don't know how I can get through the weekend taking care of an active toddler when I feel like absolute crap.