18 month sleep regression

[jedwardscissorhands27]

Any tips on coping with this please?

Right on cue our 18 month old dd has started crying when we put her down at night. She's always been a troubled sleeper and is still in our room albeit in her cot. But we were pretty much guaranteed peaceful evenings and she always went down after a bath and bottle very easily. It's during the night/early hours that she tends to grizzle and so for ease I've kept her bedside us so it's quicker to settle her (and because she would wake up my other dc otherwise).

Now I'll put her down and within minutes she's crying. I go in and pick her up and she stops immediately. I put her down and stroke/shush her and she'll grizzle but finally nods off if I stay with her. This can take a long time though.

Leaving her to cry isn't an option as she gets so upset that she makes herself sick.

She's a full on toddler and I really value my chill time in the evenings but this sleep regression is robbing me of any down time I get.

Bump

Nothing but sympathy here I’m afraid - I didn’t know this was a thing, and we’re at 14 months. Gulp.

Hey Op I’m in very similar position my little boy has been up and down sleep wise. ATM now he’s hard to get to sleep, then wakes up between 1-3 and WILL NOT go back in his cot. Even if he falls asleep he’ll wake up and go absolutely nuts. So he gets in with me (asleep in seconds) DH on the sofa bed in DS2s room.

So to try and come to a better arrangement today we got older DS bunk beds, I’m going to take the little one in there on the bottom bunk, pretend to go to sleep with him and then go back to bed leaving him in with his brother! I’ve got a bed guard on so he doesn’t fall out etc. Our two are happy to share so hopefully that will help him feel less alone at night. I feel your pain though really.

The only advice I ever think is worth a damn with infant sleep is ‘bunker down until it passes’. She absolutely will improve and you will get your evenings back - but it is probably just going to take some time. Do what you can to survive in the meantime - is it easier if she gets into bed with you to fall asleep & then you can transfer her? Can you listen to podcasts or watch something on your phone while she nods off so it’s still a bit of chill time for you? Can you bring in family to try and help and give you a night off? Can you shuffle bedtime around to see if half an hour more or less helps? It may be that nothing works as a fix, but it gives you enough to pull through until she grows out of it.

Thank you all it's nice to know I'm not alone. I have very much adopted the mentality that we'll do whatever we need to to get sleep (which is why she's still in our room and not in her own room at 18 months old!!!)

But this is new and frustrating. She's always gone down well and I feel like wherever I do it's wrong. Like if I pick her up or stay with her til she falls asleep it'll set a precedent. I'm kicking myself for letting her sleep in our room - and often co sleep on the nights she won't go back down in her own bed - because it's maybe made it harder for her to self soothe?

I'm noticing a lot of changes in her behaviour lately. Very highly strung about things she used to be fine with such as sitting in a high chair when we go out. So maybe it's all the start of terrible twos?

I wouldn’t worry about setting precedents etc - all any parent can do is whatever works in the moment you’re in! My son was a desperate sleeper, woke every hour for the first year of his life. I tried so hard to improve things and in the end it just got better on its own. Cosleeping now definitely doesn’t mean you will be cosleeping forever ♥️

I also wouldn’t worry about self-soothing; that isn’t really something babies and small children ‘learn’. Lots of sleep training relies on the idea that you can teach a child to self-soothe but the original research on which that idea is based didn’t actually say that at all. It noted that some babies are born showing inherent self soothing behaviours (like thumb sucking etc) whereas others. It was a descriptor of an inherent quality in some babies, not intended as a taught skill!

It sounds like you’re doing a brilliant job of being there for her and helping her through this. It’s bloody hard work and feels endless when you’re in it - you can’t imagine an end to it. But one day it will end. You’re doing really well and your daughter will really be benefitting from that responsive care ♥️

I also wouldn’t worry about setting precedents. Every kid is different and you do what you can. I know what you mean by wanting some quiet time by yourself I tend to stay up too late because of my only tIme so just be quiet and relax. My plan stands, I’m waiting for number 2 child to wake up!