Feeling incredibly guilty.

[SarahBeara1]

It's my only sons 25th birthday on Friday and although he doesn't expect anything due to not having any disposable income I still feel so guilty.

I have tried my hardest to save money, but due to shopping going up (I literally buy ONE Bag of shopping a week and that has increased from £40 to £50 in a matter of months) I haven't saved a penny. I managed to find a couple of quid in a coat pocket (always keep a pound for a trolley in my coats) so I got him a card, apart from that - I can't afford anything.

AIBU for feeling that guilt even though he will be perfectly fine with not getting any gifts from me?

Could you make him something like a dinner or a cake? Spend time together in the evening watching a film?

That sounds really hard 😢 Could you bake him something if you have any ingredients in? Or make him something like a memory book/letter with all of your favourite memories in from his birth to now?

Why not write him a letter and enclose it in the card, telling him what he means to you and maybe writing about memories from his childhood? That would mean more than anything you could buy.

Thank you.

I'll bake a cake (providing I don't have to buy any essentials like washing liquid this week), but I always write him a long message in his car saying how proud I am of him, what he's achieved etc ....

He's such a good man. I can't remember one year when he was a lot younger we played a trick on him (my ExH and I) and we just got him a little stocking filler of some lead pencils and drawing paper, wrapped it up and put it under the tree.
When he opened it he was over the moon to have new pencils... there was never any fuss about 'what else am I getting?'. Much later we did give him another gift - but his attitude toward the smallest of presents blew me away. Grateful doesn't being to cover it.

Whilst it must feel rubbish for you, at 25 he’s old enough to understand how tough things are for you right now. I’m sure he’ll get over it

Yes, he has your love and support worth more than money can buy.
You are his most valuable gift and time is the most precious thing.

Go for a nice walk.
Bake a cake and have a nice cuppa.

Things are so expensive at the moment. Your son will understand.

Could you put together a photo album of old photos of you both for him?
You could take photos of the photos on your phone so you can reprint them for yourself to have again.

My bestie has twins that are older (23) and she writes them IOU's for birthday and Xmas and does it when she can afford it.

Give him your time 😀

This is really sad to read but also on the other hand what an amazing parent you have been to bring up such a kind young man. Memories don't need to cost money and I'm sure he understands and would rather spend some quality time with you. Please don't beat yourself up, he loves you no matter what! Hugs xx