To hate the phrase "not the gotcha you think it is"

[PickyCat]

Just that really. Never heard anyone say it in real life but it crops up all the time on mumsnet. Why would anyone posting their opinion think it was a gotcha? It's just a discussion! I get a real irrational grrr feeling every time I see it on here and wonder if it's just me that hates it? Why do posters using it think they're somehow tripping up another poster, or that their own opinion/post is more valid?

What threads are you reading? I have never in my life ever come across the phrase until you started this thread.

Nope, never heard this either

I’ve heard it - only deployed at someone who’s being a twat and thinks they’ve just made a point that wins them the argument. The other poster is basically saying “that point doesn’t make the big win you think it does for reasons I’m about to show and I’m acknowledging you thought you’d smugly won the argument so this isn’t going to be received well”

YANBU. It's annoying, which I usually assume is the intention.

YANBU.

For those who have never heard it, it is when someone posts something - for instance they are worried they can’t find a property to rent and someone posts a Rightmove link to the area the OP is looking in with a face. That’s not the gotcha they think it is because the link they posted has probably already gone. It’s obnoxious and unhelpful.

Why would anyone posting their opinion think it was a gotcha?

Fuck knows, but plenty do! Some people post to look clever and try to trip up the OP/catch them out, not to be helpful. Haven’t you seen this? Hang around in AIBU, it’s really common behaviour and wrecks threads.

I don’t mind it.

Normally in response to something trite or sanctimonious. Which there is a lot of.

I’m not a fan of the passive aggressive “love” at the end of a put down, Just discuss the topic. Other posters aren’t the enemy, all opinions are valid.

Oh dear.

Did you go into FWR chat and tell people they cope fine with mixed sex toilets at home?

I think the reason it is used more on MN than in real life is that there is SUCH a strong tendency among so many posters to make a certain kind of infuriatingly arrogant and silly post in order to cultivate that glorious feeling of Being Right on the Internet.

By 'a certain kind of infuriatingly arrogant and silly post' I mean an alleged 'gotcha' reply that works hard to interpret another person's words as being as stupid or wicked as possible so that they can be 'corrected' by a pithy and would-be devastating comeback which often just misses the point or is based on ignorance or misunderstanding.

Those sorts of reply are infuriating enough to make the remark 'not the gotcha you think it is' well deserved and almost impossible to supress, even though that very remark has itself become just another way of cultivating the glorious feeling of Being Right on the Internet.

So, yeah, YANBU and YABU.

Never heard it in my life

Also never heard it. I’m sure you can find something more important to worry about

There was someone on mumsnet who was posting memes such as "That's not the gotcha you think it is" as a response but not actually explaining why they disagreed. They were basically just copying catchphrases like that they'd seen on the Internet but were incapable of actually arguing their point.

Never heard or seen the term written- on MN or otherwise! Why type of threads are you reading this on?

That isn’t a good example of a ‘gotcha’ at all. That’s just a remedial thing dicks say when they want to gaslight women and take the piss out of them.

😄 😄 😄

That’s the point, the “gotcha” in question is never actually a good example of a gotcha, it’s just somebody being a dick.

Absolutely hate it. See it on here all the time.

Your username is splendidly ironic given this comment. Forgive me for thinking the purpose of AIBU was to post little queries like the one I did. I'll get back in my box and not post things that aren't sufficiently worth worrying about (in your opinion) in future.

Interesting lots have never seen the phrase on here. I hadn't really thought which threads it's on, but definitely feminism ones and I think AIBU and chat.

Oh if it is in feminism then that explains why I've not seen it then. I hid that entire topic a couple of years ago for the sake of my blood pressure!