AIBU to not want more toys from in-laws... suggestions of present ideas welcome.

[PrudeyTwoShoes]

My in-laws are usually good at asking what we want for Xmas and birthdays.... and are even better at ignoring the suggestions. Last birthday I asked for furniture for DS1s new 'big boy bedroom' but was given a bunch more toys (that we don't need and just fills the house with junk) as it wasn't exciting enough to watch him open. In fact every year I've said no toys as we have enough... and end up with a bunch more. Usually large things that aren't played with and just take up space (train table when he was two, huge dinosaur thing last year).

So MIL has asked again what we want for Christmas... and I've said 'anything but more toys'. She said she wants to get him some to open and is now asking what we want.

The only thing I can think to suggest are subscription boxes for them both, but any other suggestions of present ideas would be appreciated, preferably not a load more plastic junk. Boys will be 4.5 years and 7 months at xmas.

TIA

Favourite snacks. Gives them something to unwrap and get excited about while not taking up space.

A subscription to Toucanbox. It's a regular delivery of a craft project that the child can complete with help from grandparents.

For those saying the furniture was for me, it wasn't, DS wanted a lovely dinosaur table thing from next that we saw when looking for his new bedroom things. I've obviously bought bed, wardrobe, chest if draws etc. This was an added extra. I since bought it myself since it's something he was really excited about and was disappointed when he didn't get it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't see it as being ungrateful. In fact, I always encourage DS to be appreciative of anything he gets. Obviously I don't want grandparents to spend a load of money on something that isn't practical for us to keep/no space for it etc. as it ends ip being such a waste.

It was DS's birthday a couple of months back so have loads of most things being suggested 🙈 We don't have many Lego sets, which is a good shout, so will most likely ask for this.

Thanks all. 😊

I wouldn’t buy bedroom furniture either

Another vote for annual passes to a local attraction (zoo, Lego land etc..) it can be wrapped with a small gift related to the pass? Small cuddly animal, small Lego set?

I totally get the not wanting piles of toys, it does get too much but I think grandparents like to see them open something.

Take the toys like @Brilliantlydone & put the money you would’ve spent on them into a savings account. Kids want toys, not a ticket to the zoo or clothes.

I just found the subscription boxes to be monthly junk in smaller doses.

I'd ask for cinema, sports or theatre tickets depending on what is showing something age appropriate and the budget.

As an inlaw....
I'm all for buying practical gifts, but normal I make sure that there is at least one that the kid will be excited to open Especially when they are young.

Often inlaws get assigned the dull present buying which sucks. It's not lost on me that they will think I'm the aunt that only ever bought them a voucher, or was forever buying them jumpers. Especially when they are opening exciting presents from their other aunts and grand parents, then we give them practical stuff. Yes better in the long run but makes you lame in a 6 year old eyes!

I also think that if there's a rule for no toys then it should be for both inlaws and outlaws. It's tricky when the family gifts are thoughtful and fun, but the inlaw gifts are seen as clutter.

I feel your pain as my inlaws were just the same. Christmas meant a huge pile of plastic crap. It does get easier as they get older and grow out of the big plastic toys and want either tech like phones/tablets or clothes.

We used to try to sell them on the "day out" idea, annual passes for something like a zoo or soft play, cinema vouchers rather than a toy. Many places will do the voucher in a nice presentation wallet or similar so it can still be wrapped and boxed, but MIL was not keen as it did not make the pile of presents look impressive.

See the only think I think is how do you know what your children like and what they don’t? Some of my best presents as a child were random toys from relatives. And people always talk about tat but my kids still have a box with stuff they got from party bags and with happy meals!!! It’s not tat if they use it!

I really don't understand this attitude. My parents and PIL ask what my son would like for Christmas, I tell them and they get that item. We live in a small house and there isn't a lot of room for toys which everyone understands so no one demands that they get something massive or non-suggested instead.

I also don't buy into the 'kids expect toys' idea either. My son's understanding of what happens at Christmas in our house is based on how we present it to him. Sure I could go down the road of 'At Christmas you get masses of toys' but so far we've gone with 'At Christmas you get a few small toys plus clothes and books etc' so that's what he expects.

My children have both clothes and furniture, many received as gifts; do yours just run naked through rooms devoid of everything but toys? Do you fit in children’s sizes? How odd. It’s sensible, given the mountains small children can accumulate, to make don’t gifts “need” not “want”, such as filling stockings with new socks and pants instead of tat.

Yoto player and then they can buy lots of cards for it.

Tickets for a day out.

Manage the toy, so something they will love but easy to store eg pokemon folder and cards or whatever they are into. Or a football strip if they support a team.

Stuff that will get used up rather than kept for ever eg science experiment kit or craft set, overpriced stationery from smiggle or similar.

Furniture is boring to buy and no joy in buying grandchild a present they don't like.

What about Brio trains? They will both love them for years. They are made of wood and are expensive enough to please gp and a big collection takes quite a small space. If you add Thomas Tank Engine books etc it will be very special.

YANBU

My IL's insist on gifts despite knowing we have a small home and struggle with space/clutter. Even gifting super bulky items and expensive items that won't be suitable for several years so have to be stored.

My own parents are wonderful and buy a simple toy that will be loved and played with, and gift the grownups money to help pay for things the home or fund a meal out.

My takeaway from this is that my own parents understand children and family life, and my IL's don't. And I know which set I'd rather be directly related to.

Agree with @AlltheFs yoto is brilliant

Clothes absolutely are gifts for the DC if they're fun, exciting ones they'll enjoy wearing. My DS who is 2.5 loves having his Granny choose him cool jumpers etc.

My children have clothes and furniture of course, but they are not gifts. They are basic necessities.

None of the toys I buy my children are tat.

Can they get expansions to toys they already own? So more trains for the trainset, more duplo etc. or consumable gifts like playdough or baking sets?

Ideally better gifts would involve a day out, farm pass, swim pass etc

They clearly want to buy toys and see the children unwrap them - so I’d specify which toys, so at least you have some control they are the ones most useful, even if not really needed.

• a season ticket for a local thing.
• a voucher to do something e.g. rock-climbing, paddle boarding, escape room.
• a craft project of something good!
• a kids baking course
• kids zoo keeper day
• theme park tickets

My kids aren't materialistic so tend to get experiences rather than plastic tat.

Magnatiles are hugely expensive and don't take up much room, and are great fun and baby safe. Otherwise something consumable like craft or paint supplies.

Her love language is gift giving, she needs to see a grateful little face so vouchers, subscriptions, days out won't work.

Ours have paid for extra - curriculars that the children enjoy doing.

These were things requested by the child's parent for interests which the kids have. It's different if not asked for, I agree.