If you’re meeting two people…

[PettyQuestion]

At a particular time and place, and one of them texts the group to say they will be ten minutes late do you: make more of an effort to be on time so that the third person is not waiting alone (I’m reasonable), or turn up fifteen minutes late to make sure none of your time is wasted (I’m not reasonable)?

Seems such a small thing, but I just realised while waiting that I knew exactly how my friend’s automatic calculations would go, and how in so many small and large ways I would automatically show consideration towards her that is not reciprocated. Thinking of stepping back a bit.

Sorry cant help, im always the late one when I have children in tow

....Without children id try extra hard to be on time though. Im never late on purpose i just have zero concept on time

I would always aim for the correct time and apologise if I'm late. I wouldn't alter my plans.

10 minutes I couldn’t care less about (I am always punctual).

I don’t really mind people being late occasionally, or even habitually depending on the circumstances. The friend was two minutes away from where we were all meeting so chose to arrive later to make sure she wouldn’t be doing any waiting. As I realised she would. If I know just one person will be waiting alone I make more of an effort to be on time for a group meet up.

I’m early for everything! If I found out you turned up 15 minutes late because someone else was going to be 10 minutes late, I’d be raging!

How last minute was the text, I expect I'd have already been on my way! I hate keeping people waiting. But if it was early enough I hadn't left yet.. actually no. I'd still have replied and found out if you were there/on your way and been on time when you said you were.

I’d still be on time. However, if this was habitual from the other two, I’d be really tempted to wander off for a mooch and be 20 minutes late.

They knew I was there, I’d texted to say I was going to be early and my phone might die so I would meet in the planned place. I am quite sleep deprived so am grumpier than normal today.

I would never be deliberately late and have no use for people who are habitually so. I had friends like this in the past who would keep me waiting for the better part of an hour because they were too bloody disorganised to get somewhere on time - and they knew I'd be there on time at the latest, because I used public transport and always allowed enough.

ETA someone I knew was repeatedly deliberately late would very soon be an ex friend.

I'm usually the one running late but on the rare occasion I'm not, I wouldn't deliberately change my plans to arrive later especially if someone else is waiting too.

I wouldn't change my behaviour either way. I wouldn't make extra effort to be on time because I would be on time anyway. I certainly wouldn't suddenly start dawdling to be deliberately late.

Maybe next time be later than them, then you'll have the situation of weird late friend being even later than you 😂

You're overthinking it.

That’s bizarre. If you’re going to get somewhere on time just get there when you get there. Very weird.

I'd message the third person privately and ask if they wanted to meet at the assigned time or 15min later. If I didn't get hold of them I would still be on time. Just because one person is flakey, no reason for me to be. But if the flaker was always taking the piss advantage, I would make plans to my convenience, eg meeting earlier than necessary and in a place where I was content to linger.