Is this too much for a one year old?

[Bhjelly]

Baby going to nursery 3 days a week from January, two days after their first birthday. I am so conflicted. Seems so young still?! Still a baby. If you had the choice would you stay home with them longer?

Lots of people have to. I would choose for a parent or family to have them if I had the option.

Both mine went from 7m for three days a week. No regrets, they both thrived in nursery.

Any older than now and they’ll get the separation anxiety and the transition could be harder.

I put them in as I chose to go back to work.

I actually wouldn’t as nursery is far more reliable! Don’t have to worry about one person being sick or on holiday or randomly deciding they can’t cope.

Its a lot to put on someone

It doesn't feel it, but it's going to be fine.

If I honestly had a choice yes, I would have loved to stay home with my kids until they started school.

in real life, needs must and plenty go and that age and are just fine.

Mine went to nursery 3 days from 2yrs 3m. If you don't need it for childcare then I don't think they get as much out of it, compared to parent-accompanied playgroup sessions. I'd opt for a nanny or childminder over nursery for a child under 2.

I don’t know how this thread will help you. Some women will not return to work and have strong feelings in nurseries, other women go back to work because they have to, other women do it because they want to.

Most women only take 9 months off so starting nursery after the first birthday from that perspective can’t be too young.

Mine went 2 days because I worked 4 days per week and both grandmas wanted a day of childcare. I would have put them in longer if that was what fit our circumstances.

I hated it at first, not the nursery though, just the unfounded mum guilt. The DCs both loved it and for a while after leaving DD2 wanted to go back and visit (DD1 got to pop in when I collected DD2).

I think the social side was great in helping them settle in school, especially as they are both summer babies.

Sorry should have said - I had 9 months maternity each time so DCs were about 8 months when they started.

Mine went to a childminder for 4 days a week from 11 months and one day a week to GPS.

There’s obviously a reason why you are sending your child in for that amount of time and so hearing from people who agree / disagree won’t change that. Do you have a choice as to whether to send them? What is it that you would like to get from the thread? I’m not judging you for sending them as I was in the same situation as you but I had no choice in it and so even if people said yes it is too young, there’s nothing I could have done.

Mine went 3 days at 13 months and it worked perfectly. Only a couple of months earlier I was dreading it and thought they were no where near ready. 3 days is a nice balance I find.

Mine started a week after her first birthday for 4 days a week, with GPs 1 day a week. Needs must unfortunately. I can see it has benefitted her but doesn't hurt any less 😪

Mine went 4 full days a week from 11m. It worked very well for all of us and I wouldn’t hesitate to do the same again.

DS went three days a week from being nine months, with another day with my mum. At 14 months he started going to nursery four days a week as I went back full time (I'd been doing four days a week before that).

He loves nursery and I have no particular guilt about sending him. I absolutely couldn't be a SAHM and am delighted to be back at work; I think it makes me appreciate the time I have with DS more, tbh. I found the day-in, day-out drudgery of childcare repetitive and mind-numbing. Lots of people don't, but it takes all sorts. 🤷‍♀️

I’ve done a mixture of grandparent, at home on mat leave and nursery with mine.

IMO there is a benefit to nursery from 18 months, and it’s worth persevering through the 12-18m bit to get there. I see huge differences between my 1 day a week then lockdown first child and 3 days a week second child age nearly 4. See similar with the eldest’s peers at school age - the nursery kids so much more settled, confident and better with their peers than those with childminder/nanny etc.

it feels absolutely horrible leaving them though, you have my sympathy!

Mine did 2 days from 3 1/2- if you don’t need to send them I wouldn’t, but if you have to it will actually be ok!

At that age DS was with grandparents two days a week (different sets) and nursery one day a week, lots of people told me it was too many different settings he wouldn't settle etc. He was fine. He went up to two days at nursery after a year and then 3 days from 3 when his funding kicked in. You can see the difference in his reception class between the children who went to nursery and those that didn't, just in term of confidence walking in etc. Some of the mums on the class WhatsApp group are beside themselves because their dc are crying every day, but never went to nursery so this is a much bigger change.
Frankly as a mum you can't do right for doing wrong, but you need to do what you need to do for your whole family, bills, life etc, your baby will be just fine and hopefully you'll have fewer tears come school time!

My DS is just starting nursery now. He’ll be two in December. He is ready, so he’s going more for that than because I need him to. I miss him when he’s there 😅

Hes absolutely ready, I think. Let me leave him fine. Loves all the toys and songs and other children. No tears there at all yet. He’s been ditching me at playgroups for a while now.

But almost all his baby friends have gone for over a year now, and they’re all really well adjusted to it too, so it really is just a personal choice.

Lockdown kicked in the week DD turned one and was meant to go to nursery full time. No nurseries. Instead I missed out on my two weeks of her in childcare with my job yet to start – my planned mental health break after maternity – and instead had to work in blocks with DP, from dawn to midnight, alternating childcare and work. I fucking wept and danced with relief when nurseries opened, sent her in without a qualm. She thrived, so did I.

I’m a bit dense but not quite sure how to answer your poll - is yabu meaning thinking it’s too much and yanbu thinking not too much?

my DD went x 3 days from 13 months and had a 40 min drive each way (lived rurally, no other choice)🙈 She got on really well and it was a really good nursery. She took long naps while there and ate great food and played outside a lot. The drive meant she had a later bedtime than most her age though. I’ve moved her to a school nursery now as she’d tend to sleep on the way home and it started to affect her bedtime significantly.

My DD went from 8 months as I had to go back to work. She goes for 3.5 days a week.
It was hard at first for us all, but she absolutely skips in now every morning. They have constant activities and toys, far more than I would be able to offer her at home. Her social development and language is staggering vs some non nursery going children her age now (17 months). Obviously that's not a dig at mum's who don't send their children, just my experience.
You'll both be fine! It's just an adjustment 💕

Mine went 5 days a week from six months. In the olden days maternity leave was max 6 months. My adult DC are healthy, well adjusted, happy, have lots of friends, stable relationships and they also love me. What exactly are you afraid of?

If I had a choice I would have stayed home longer but I soon got used to going to the loo in peace and having some adult conversation

If I could, I would stay home with DS for longer, but I can't so he'll be starting nursery next month when he's 10.5 months. I don't feel ready, and he's never been left with anyone except me and DH so I have no idea how he'll react.

DD's start was delayed until 20 months because of COVID, and because my work role was different it was much more gradual (2 days for a year then 4 days). I felt we were both much more ready at that age compared to 12 months when we'd originally planned to start.