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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think everyone thinks they're good at their job

43 replies

DustyRhodesYell · 24/10/2023 18:13

I have my first appraisal tomorrow. Been in the job since August.
Obviously I think I'm doing a good job, but I'm very aware/ anxious that 99% of people I've ever met think they're good at their jobs. People who I've managed who are terrible think they're good at their jobs. I thought I was excellent at one job, only to be sacked after two months!
AIBU? Not many people openly admit to feeling out of their depths or lazy. Lots of people do the bare minimum but still feel they are working at an adequate level. Would my manager tell me? Maybe only if I was doing such a bad job it was detrimental to the business, who knows?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 24/10/2023 18:16

I think many people don’t think so, even when they are!

Imposter syndrome is really rife!

Rollinghill · 24/10/2023 18:16

Imposter syndrome? I felt for years like I wasn't coping, despite positive appraisals and good feedback. I believe this is fairly common.

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 24/10/2023 18:17

I would say the opposite, people are fronting it out in the hope they convince others that they are good at their job.

I go through life assuming I’m about to be sacked

tinkerbellvspredator · 24/10/2023 18:18

Lots of people suffer from imposter syndrome, look up the stats. There are people who are good and bad at their jobs and there are people who think they are good/bad at their jobs. Sometimes views align with reality, sometimes they don't. Some managers views may not align with reality.
Very few people however are going to voluntarily say to their colleagues or manager they think they're doing a bad job!

dollybird · 24/10/2023 18:18

I totally had imposter syndrome in my last job, despite good feedback. I did as good a job as I could, but always felt I wasn't doing as well as I should be in some areas. So, no, I don't agree that everyone thinks they're good at their job.

sollenwir · 24/10/2023 18:20

I have had a few different jobs, and I know I was better at/better suited to some than others, though my bosses were always happy with my work.

Hopefully your manager will approach the appraisal in the correct way by acknowledging your strengths and any weaknesses, and suggest how you could improve any weak areas that exist, as well as listening to any concerns you might have.

Good luck!

Desecratedcoconut · 24/10/2023 18:20

No. I was well aware that I was a shit barmaid during uni back in the dark ages. It didn't help that the the till didn't add up and after 10pm, apparently neither could I.

ScarboroughHair · 24/10/2023 18:23

I think many people lack self awareness generally. Plenty of people in jobs beneath their capabilities because they don't have self belief, and plenty of overconfident, overpromoted incompetents, and lots in between! What I would say is most people think they know themselves very well without understanding how they come across. That's why appraisals can be a massive shock.

NamelessNancy · 24/10/2023 18:25

Nah, imposter syndrome all the way. Seems I'm not alone!

tulippa · 24/10/2023 18:27

I was in a job once which I knew I was rubbish at (it started as customer service but morphed into a sales job after I'd been there about a year). I moved on as I knew I could do better elsewhere.
I've also managed colleagues who have been very open that they can't do parts of the role and when I've offered support or training they're not interested then get all stressed when they get put on an action plan. Confused
And I've worked with others who have blatantly said they will just do the bare minimum but take as much as they can in terms of sick leave, carer's leave etc.
And also people who think they are genuinely amazing and are devastated when you gently point out where they're not doing so well.
So I think my point is that there a range of viewpoints!

ohsotired2022 · 24/10/2023 18:27

I have major imposter syndrome.
Massively don't believe in myself and had really held me back professionally. That and having 3 children.

YouveGotAFastCar · 24/10/2023 18:29

Nah, other people think I’m good at my job. I think it’s all obvious and anyone could do it; and they’ll discover that any minute 🥴

BeyondMyWits · 24/10/2023 18:29

I'm not great at mine, but am ticking along to retirement, am cheap and I turn up.

FedUpOfItA · 24/10/2023 18:30

I'm good at certain parts of my job but there are definite areas of weakness. I would never know how self aware other people are and whether they see their own strengths and weaknesses. I think true self awareness comes with age.

RestingPlace · 24/10/2023 18:39

Desecratedcoconut · 24/10/2023 18:20

No. I was well aware that I was a shit barmaid during uni back in the dark ages. It didn't help that the the till didn't add up and after 10pm, apparently neither could I.

Grin

OP, I think it's fair to say a lot of people have very little idea of their own effectiveness in a job, whether that's massively overestimating their own capacities, or, as is sometimes the case with impostor syndrome, underestimating them.

People do throw around 'impostor syndrome' as a way of trying to encourage people to think they're good, but in fact there's no real evidence to suggest that people who think they're bad at their job are any more likely to be right or wrong about it than people who (possibly mistakenly) think they're wonderful.

I remember once an excruciating situation with a lovely colleague in a former job (academia), who was shambolically disorganised, and continually had student complaints about his disorganised teaching, sketchy materials, lateness returning work, missed meetings. The departmental headship circulated biannually in his very small department, and when it was about to be his turn again, a colleague in my (allied) department, Y, said jokingly to the others in his department, in front of X 'I bet you're really looking forward to X being Head!'

They tactfully just smiled and turned the conversation, knowing perfectly well what he meant, but X came to our shared office later on and asked Y what he had meant, really huffily, and was apparently terribly upset when Y said 'Oh, well, you're a bit disorganised!'

He apparently had had no idea that he was widely (and rightly) regarded as an administrative disaster, and that he made everyone's lives much harder when he was Head.

This was an intelligent man, and a nice one, but he had no idea he was bad at his job.

tigger1001 · 24/10/2023 18:43

I think imposter syndrome is more common.

It's certainly that way for me. My boss and I spoke openly about imposter syndrome at my last appraisal. I think I'm going to get found out at any time and am about to get sacked 😂

Sirzy · 24/10/2023 18:43

I’m fully in the imposter syndrome camp. Even when things are praised I over think it and look for alternative meaning

ConflictofInterest · 24/10/2023 18:58

I'm terrible at my job. I hide the fact I have a PhD because I'm so embarrassed at how bad at my job I am. New graduates sail past me and are often told to teach me skills I learnt years ago I just fail to put into practice. I don't consider it imposter syndrome because I actually am an imposter. It depends on the type of appraisal whether I am honest or not. If I can get extra training then I'll say I need training in x, y and z but I'm not going to say I'm useless if it's going to get me fired, I'm the main earner and need to hang on!

LeggyLinda · 24/10/2023 19:06

And yet, strangely, most people who are good at their job think they are shit.
it may just be my industry, but there is a wide feeling amongst most that everyone is “winging it”.
The arrogant people (fortunately few) are easily spotted and avoided. Admittedly, this is quite a fast moving area (knowledge and experience wise) so someone could easily be No1 one day, and well behind the curve next year.

LittleRedY0shi · 24/10/2023 19:16

My theory is that the reason so many people who are good at their jobs have imposter syndrome is because they hold themselves to higher standards than everyone else does. And for those who aren't actually as good as they think they are, it's because they're complacent about it.

MojoMoon · 24/10/2023 19:20

It is called "Illusory superiority" in psychology literature. It's a well known cognitive bias that most of us think we are better at some specific tasks than most other people.

The Dunning Kruger effect is a specific type of illusory superiority where the more terrible someone is at something, the more they think they are better than average

electriclight · 24/10/2023 19:29

Yes a lot of people mistakenly believe that they are good at their jobs.

People being disciplined always think you've got it in for them.

People passed over for promotion always think the other person got it through nepotism.

People stuck in junior roles for ages always think the managers are useless and they'd do a better job.

lljkk · 24/10/2023 19:44

MojoMoon · 24/10/2023 19:20

It is called "Illusory superiority" in psychology literature. It's a well known cognitive bias that most of us think we are better at some specific tasks than most other people.

The Dunning Kruger effect is a specific type of illusory superiority where the more terrible someone is at something, the more they think they are better than average

I'm intrigued by the "most of us" part of those statements. I mean, aren't most people better at some specific task than most other people? Or is PP saying that almost nobody is better at some specific action than most people? Surely everyone has some terrific skill at something?

Albioncreed · 24/10/2023 19:45

I’m pretty mediocre. Some days I’m exceptionally lazy. Other days I’ll work my arse off if I need to.

UsingChangeofName · 24/10/2023 19:54

I agree with the first few replies.

Loads of people aren't aware just what a good job they are doing.

But yes, there are also lots of people who think what they do is good, even when it isn't.

However, surely that is what an appraisal is for, and mentoring, or probationary periods in new jobs. If the Manager is worth her salt then she should be honest.