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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Noisy neighbours

11 replies

Anonymous10666 · 24/10/2023 00:47

Hi everyone… new to net mums and I could really do with some advice!

Around 2 and a half years ago I had new neighbours move in. I live with my husband and we have four children (three with disabilities) the new tenant moved in with her husband and three children. It has been a battle for calm ever since! I have logs on my phone which I started three months after the ‘settling in phase’ was over and realised what was in store. Some brief accounts are DIY being carried out until gone 12pm inc Christmas Day and Boxing Day…. Then to the children running around screaming and banging the walls until 3am. This is the first point of contact I had with her. She said she doesn’t like routines that’s why her children are homeschooled. I need to give her children consideration as she does not allow them to watch tv as this brainwashed them as do schools! (I am a teacher) I then explained my routine and asked if we could compromise as my children were continuously being woken. Then two days later she introduces a piano into her home! She forgot to mention she’s now a piano teacher and has to practice 5 hours per day and has three students 5 days per week! This would carry on until 11pm every night… and still does until this day. Now, six months ago… what sounded like a karaoke machine is actually a recording studio set up in her living room! She’s also a singer who needs to practice everyday! All day! All night! I reported this to the council and the housing officer asked me to speak with her directly… AGAIN! She refuted claims she listens to loud music and when I mentioned the singing she laughed at me. She said she would make sure that the singing stopped by 7pm which it didn’t. I spoke with my husband as my mental health was taking a knocking by this point and no longer wanted to stay at home. So I asked her to give me piano lessons! I thought to myself keep your fiends close and your enemies closer and try to understand this woman more. She accepted but said I wouldn’t be dedicated enough… absolutely! I just wanted some peace and quiet! During these hour sessions once per week she would tell me how she doesn’t teach her children anything but languages and music, how she doesn’t agree with immunisations and I should consider what I am doing with my children in schools. She stated that I shouldn’t buy my fruit and vegetables from supermarkets as they been injected with the Covid vaccine (the logo of the green frog) that we shouldn’t pay council tax as it goes to the queen and the pope and that she’s divorcing her husband to claim benefits, although he’s still living there and working and she’s earning her money with her piano lessons every week. Then, myself and my husband were in the garden hanging washing late August and we heard her shouting at her 4 year old daughter then slapped her! I was mortified! She slammed the windows shut and I haven’t been round for another lesson since! Since then she has really ramped up the noise, purchased a new car and insists she park outside our house everyday! Her three children are outside unattended whilst she’s singing her heart out in her front lounge. The children climb on my fence and up onto our adjoining outbuilding and hang over into my garden. They antagonise my dogs and and throw things at them. Her youngest child hanged out of the top window and when I have told her she said to ignore them, she lets them climb! I have no idea what her problem is but the pattern of behaviour is:
I talk to her and pay for her silence or I do not speak to her and she ramps up the noise and disrupts my household!
I have tried to speak with her so many times to reason with her, I have rang the council, sent her a letter, I have even tried to build a relationship with her but I feel as though regardless of what I say or do, she will just carry on. Am I being unfair or judgmental as I do appreciate we are different families with different views and lifestyles but my family seem to be the ones that are disrupted?
is there anything I can do to reduce the amount of anxiety it gives me?

OP posts:
Tinkerbyebye · 24/10/2023 00:48

This is mumsnet not netmums

BananaPyjamaLlama · 24/10/2023 00:58

Most of what you've said is irrelavant........... her attitudes re her childrens education, immunisations, covid all that stuff.
What is relevant is that the amount of noise they make at all hours of the day and in particular the evenings is anti social and annoying for you. And what appears at times to be neglect of her children, their behaviour and its affect on you.
Focus on the actual problem, not the other stuff which isnt. I would keep a daily not of the times and type of behaviour that is a problem - but make it matter of fact (eg leave out your own opinions re home education) and its effect on you.

Anonymous10666 · 24/10/2023 01:02

I’ve added that in on here as I found this offensive. She knew I was a teacher but continued to make her views on the education system know… which is her view but there’s a level of projection.
I have been keeping a detailed journal for two years as requested by the council. The issue stared with noise… then when she said I had to be tolerant of her and her family for there to be harmony… basically put up and shut up!

OP posts:
Fionaville · 24/10/2023 01:08

I think you've got a biased view of their lifestyle, opinions and attitudes. It's all irrelevant.
They are making excessive noise. That's the only point you need to make. Just deal with that.

mistyfen · 24/10/2023 01:09

Tinkerbyebye · 24/10/2023 00:48

This is mumsnet not netmums

What a useful contribution 👏🏼

mistyfen · 24/10/2023 01:13

I would also just deal with the noise issue.

Try to separate it from everything else as that's irrelevant really. You both appear intolerant of each other.

NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 24/10/2023 02:07

She sounds as mad as a cut snake. I would report to SS and suggest you call the police for welfare checks if the kids are carrying on until stupid o’clock or hanging out of high windows. I would also report her for fraud.

Mamma2017 · 24/10/2023 02:17

She slapped her child? Let’s them hang out of the window? Surely you should be reporting to social services?

RedHelenB · 24/10/2023 06:59

mistyfen · 24/10/2023 01:09

What a useful contribution 👏🏼

As a teacher you'd assume the OP would get that right. Played mumsnet bi go and OP covered almost everything, including children with disabilities

Climbingthehillfast · 24/10/2023 07:23

Contact the council with every noise issue … every single time

mistyfen · 24/10/2023 11:51

@RedHelenB
I don't think OP teaches English going by that long, singular paragraph. I agree about Mumsnet bingo though 

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