DS15 refuses to go out

[Everythingnotsavedwillbelost73]

My 15 year old DS just won’t go out with mates! All he wants to do is game at home on his own- he sometimes will go out & play a bit of footy but that’s it at the moment. He got a bit of a knock back from some old friends recently who are ahead of him socially & go to parties etc and I think it’s knocked his confidence. He won’t text anyone really - he just wants to hide away it seems.

Aibu to be worried? He’s happy enough at home - I just don’t want him to become socially isolated. His teacher said he’s popular at school- he’s quiet and shy though.

I can’t say I’d be concerned. Not everyone is a social butterfly who wants to be out and about.

My brother was either at school, drama club or gaming, he has still a good core group of friends from those school days and they all still game. Lived seconds from the school.

My son seems to be following is those footsteps, his either at school, sometimes rarely mind out on his bike, maybe popped into town with a girl briefly or gaming.

However his hitting all his targets, his in top sets, his the quiet child who won’t put themselves out to answer the question out loud etc has people he might well be on the phone to till midnight or longer if he was left to his own devices. We do live a good hour on public transport from school though, but so do quite a few in his year in various directions.

I genuinely don't understand why this would worry you. My DS is similar, and he is quite happy with life. I am in no hurry for him to want to go out partying at the age of 15.

I think a lot of this depends on your own experiences. Dh and I were both very sociable teens and I think we'd like ds to experience the fun that it can entail, but he's an anti social little creature who can't do small talk and prefers to talk whilst gaming. I'm sad that he ends up watching films etc with us, which he should be watching with mates, but I can't make him. Likewise, at least I know nothing will happen to him at home.

Aww bless him. He's just like my son at that age. Everything at secondary school was a bit too much and he wanted to stay home in his familiar environment. He wasn't in one of the cool gang and didn't necessarily want to be. I made the right moves at the time and tried to get him to mix, IE join clubs, invite people over but he just wanted to do things in his own time. Fast forward a few years he's at Uni in his second year and has found his people.
I know it's a worry for you as his Mum but trust me, they find their own way that is comfortable for them. Some kids just need a bit of time. You sound like you are a great Mum☺️
Just keep listening to him, and supporting him, our quite kids do find their own way in time.
My son still wants his homelife and comes home every couple of weeks to touch base....but he loves his little group at Uni as well. Give him time and lots of unconditional love and encouragement, he will be fine.