To feel like I should quit my job?

[NotTHATsmart]

I was headhunted last April, by a small but very successful family business who are developing a new product that has been unbelievably successful. I absolutely love the team I am working with, I love the product and I really love the work but I am having real problems with one of the family members!

The CEO (let's call him Brian) is someone I knew professionally some years ago and he approached me personally and persuaded me to leave my existing job to come on board. I was quite unsure for a while as it meant giving up a fantastic job, but it was such an exciting project and they were so keen to have me, that I decided to go for it.

My direct line manager is Brian's brother (let's call him Seth).

So right from the get-go, Seth was very hostile and made it clear he was very unhappy with me being hired as he hadn't been consulted about it. I very nearly quit there and then because I had been led to believe they were really keen to have me and this was really shocking, but I was persuaded to stay by the rest of the team and Brian.

The rest of the team told me Seth has reduced several people to tears through bullying, and even other family members refuse to deal with him because he's verbally abusive, but it was regardless very unpleasant. After a couple of months though, he realised my work was very good and he stopped being hostile and started showering me with compliments.

We went on for several months without any incidents and Seth was polite, if abrupt and was very complimentary of my work. Brian told me I was the best person they'd ever had in the role and other people said the same, so I felt very happy and relieved.

Then Brian pulled me off the job I was doing for 4 weeks to help him with a special project. Which was rewarding and fun, but when I came back Seth had seemingly decided to be unpleasant again.

He started not providing me with the information needed to complete my projects. He didn't return my emails or calls. It was more or less him refusing to let me do my job. When I finally pushed him he replied with "we don't have any work for you".

I was completely horrified, I knew I had heaps of projects to complete so had no idea why I was being clocked, so I called Brian for a chat. He apologised profusely, and colleagues comforted me and told me it was just "Seth being Seth", but I was crying and very upset.

Anyway, Brian called Seth, and within two hours I am being sent work again - a mountain of work actually. But now, instead of complimenting me, he is ripping apart everything I do and giving me poor briefs and information making it hard to complete what I need to do.

At the weekend, he sent me a really rude email, ripping my work to shreds and I was quite upset and found myself crying again and just wondering what the heck to do. Then it turns out he has been BCCing Brian on these emails ripping my work to shreds and I had no idea.

This to me feels like it's very passive aggressive and bullying behavior? I spoke to Brian and he more or less said Seth is an unpleasant person and to just "go around him", but I feel like I segued from being headhunted and told I was brilliant a a key member of the team - to more or less being humiliated and criticised :(

I am not sure what to do. Leaving my job means I will definitely have work I like less and less future prospects (this is an amazing job, one in a million) or to put up with being abused.

AIBU for feeling like I want to quit? Is this cutting my nose off to spite my face? Do I need to put my big girl panties on? Or is this just a ridiculous way to expect me to work?

This is what I would do.

Next time you’re in the office leave your laptop open on this page in sight of Seth and Brian and pop to the toilet

https://www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment

I used to work for a man like this OP, he was an out and out bully, and made life miserable for everyone who worked for him. He'd given me a specific project, and asked me to bring him the figures by the end of the day, which I did. He looked at them, asked me some questions, and told me they were WRONG! I knew they weren't wrong, simply that people had been telling him for months, what he wanted to hear, rather than the truth. I told him that the figures were correct, and he then said, I want you to go back in there, do this whole thing again, and bring me back the correct figures. At this point I walked out of the room, went to my office, collected my bag and put my coat on. As I walked out, he was standing in his office doorway, and demanded to know where I was going, as he'd told me to re-do the figures. I looked him straight in the eye, told him the figures were correct, and if I felt so inclined I could stay there all night and they would still be the same, however I wasn't going to do that, as it would be a complete waste of my evening. I then bade him Goodnight! I walked away and down the stairs quivering and waiting for him to ball something after me, like 'get back here, you don't go until I say you can', or whatever, but he didn't say a word. Next morning I went back into the office as normal, and waited for him to appear, fully expecting the sack. Instead, he called me into his office, told me to sit down, and then said 'So tell me, why are you so sure these figures that you've given me are right, when they don't match up with anything else I've been given?' I told him the truth, that people were too scared to tell him something that they thought would make him cross, so they fudged the figures, but had now been found out. From that point on, we got on like a house on fire, as I was able to prove my work was correct, and I think he respected me for having the guts to tell him what other people wouldn't.

So, in your shoes OP, if you're prepared to quit the job, have it out with Seth. Walk into his office and ask him straight out, why he's suddenly started picking fault with everything you do, when before you went to do the special job with Brian, you were the best thing since sliced bread? Stand up for yourself! Be confident in your work! You know you were doing it right before you got called to do the other job, so unless you've suddenly changed your way of working, he's going to have to prove that you are not up to par. Then if he threatens to sack you, or does sack you, go straight to Brian, and tell him that you will be going, but you will also be taking a stand against the company for unfair dismissal and bullying!

Please don’t quit before you’ve taken Seth to task in public … I bet he won’t be able to cope at all and will back down

I agree you need a meeting with you Seth and Brian. It sounds you are really good at your job and they can all see that aside from Seth.

If you have enough savings put aside then tell them exactly how it is! absolutely no sugar coating.

I'd get on to acas. You may have a case for constructive dismissal (and inwould be dropping this hint to Brian)

Thanks so much all. Brian and everyone else is great, so I need to have a think on this!