To want DH to tell me when he’ll be home?

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For context I’m often home 7-7 with two young kids. DH works all over the place. AIBU to want him to give me an idea of when he’s home? I don’t mean ‘1907’ or anything but ‘around 7’ will do!

Does he have an idea and just not communicate or does he not know until setting off to come home?

Sometimes my work can be like that but I would always drop a text when heading home but can be so unreliable so not point in communicating until I know. Doesn’t make any difference really.

Appreciate it must be a strain on you but good to understand if it’s just poor communication and easily sorted first.

Not UR unless there's some huge drip feed that he's in a job where he can't have his phone / is travelling unable to use his phone etc.

Although my DH can think he's out of the door and clear then get a bombshell phone call and be stuck for any amount of time so there's no point 😂

Just a message to say he’s leaving and will be about an hour: like now I’ve genuinely no idea if he’ll be home before 9 or he could have been back an hour ago. Just totally in the dark. It gets me down as I want a break and also makes me feel like I’m a bit unimportant.

Not unreasonable.

My suggestion is you tell him what time you are timing dinner for (assuming this is part of the problem) and you that unless you hear otherwise before 4.00 p.m.this is the time you will work to.

After a few congealed dinners and you curled up on settee, settled in for the evening, he may get the message 😁

I don’t think that is an unfair expectation. My DP and I always let each other know when we’re heading home, if we’ll be late, etc. it’s just courteous and makes for a partnership to keep each other in the loop. Especially when you’re stuck home with the kids all day you must be yearning for some adult company by the evening and some help with the evening child duties. How can you plan dinner etc?

YANBU. My DH does this and it drives me nuts! If I’m hanging on by a thread with the kids and expecting him home when he finishes work and he doesn’t show I’m furious. If he lets me know that he’s had to stay late, will message when he’s on his way home then I’m ok, because I know to settle in for the long haul with them. I also feel it’s disrespectful not to let me know, like my time and life doesn’t matter as much as big man earning money. It might not be reasonable of me to feel that, but I do.

A simple text makes life much easier for everyone.

Oh gosh totally. That’s a really long day at home with the kids and you’ll look forward to having him back. It’s normal for Dh and I to say when we’re expecting to be home, just courteous really.

No I don't think you are unreasonable.

My DH let's me know at the weekend his plan for the week... e.g. wfh Tuesday, late Friday etc. So I have some idea. It also means he works around me /the kids sometimes too - parents evening, meeting for X etc as it is not all about 1 person (even if the other is a SAHP.)

He then rings when he leaves work to say he's on his way traffic is crap sat nav says etc... because this way I know how to time dinner.

I've given up and my DH gets cold dinner warmed up in the microwave. He doesn't care enough to let me know, he obviously values the freedom from thought and communication over fresh food.

Same. So frustrating. I totally get his job is a bit unpredictable (it shouldn't be but things are rough at the moment) but once it's past 530 it would be nice to know if he'll be home in the next half hour or more likely 2 hrs!