To reveal my colleague is being economical with the truth re Christmas shifts?

[Christmasconundrum23]

This is my 3rd year of working in a restaurant.it.

Every member of staff HAS to do 3 out of the 5 festive days over the Festive period.

So three from:

Christmas Eve
Christmas Day
Boxing Day
New Year's Eve
New Year's Day

I do the three Christmas shifts and did NYE and NYD last year at short notice to cover a last minute staff sickness.

One colleague (Aurelia) sadly lost her DFather in October 21. And has said it's too difficult to leave her Dmom alone as Aurelia is an only child, there's no one else close family, so in 21 and 22 was given special dispensation to just work 2 shifts (NYE and NYD).

I understand that the rotas this period are a challenge to produce, but we manage. It's exceedingly hard work, but we knew the deal on signing up to work here. Each staff member sacrifices time with their family and friends but it is what it is.

Aurelia has asked for special dispensations again this year so she spend thistime with her mother who obviously struggles with grief at this time of year. She asked for this in our pre festive season meeting yesterday evening that all staff members attended.

But I know that's not quite the truth as her mom will be travelling to stay with my aunt (Aurelia's mom's childhood friend)
In Cornwall on Christmas for a few nights of company and support.

Aurelia not working Christmas shifts doesn't affect me as I'd work them abyway(single no children, enjoy the day and the enhanced pay) but I know there's a few other staff members making big social or familial sacrifices to go in these shifts.

YABU keep out of it.
YANBU, speak to management so the shifts could be staffed more fairly.

I’ve worked in these places where everyone has to take their fair share of weekends, or summer holidays or Christmas and invariably there is one person who thinks it doesn’t apply and they shouldn’t have to muck in. It is absolutely shit for staff morale and puts others off doing their share.

Of course management should sort it. If you have a family link I can understand that you don’t want to bring it up, but managers should always be aware how making allowances for one person pisses everyone else off.

Tell manager and suggest manager doesn't tell her she knows but simply says that if it now the third year and she can't unfortunately let the dispensation continue.

Agree with this

What ever the workplace there will always be those who take the piss.
I would be straight to the manager with this

In your shoes I would tell. Purely because I worked somewhere where I realise a colleague has basically robbed me of doing a certain thing (thing prestigious event) with my younger DC and DH each year because she absolutely must go at X time because of X reason.
I now know she’d lied. I didn’t find out until DC were older. It’s time/experience we can never get back.

I couldn't have helped myself at the meeting and innocently said "oh that's a shame has your mum cancelled her break away I thought she'd arranged to go and stay with my Aunt"

Gosh, the spirit of Christmas is alive and well in your colleague. Exploiting the death of her father for her own benefit.

I agree with what Spiral suggests.

Is she going to be using this as an excuse every year? Definitely nip it in the bud now or they will continue taking the pee.

She's a bit of an idiot to use this excuse knowing that you would find out. I'd definitely let management know.

I agree with others and would defo tell management.

I would double check again without explaining why before telling the manager just to be absolutely sure.
I agree that it’s time to stop this special arrangement. First year - yes, but now it’s too much.

I would have a quiet word with the manager. It was absolutely right to give Aurelia special dispensation during those first few years and any good manager would do that.
I could equally understand her wanting Christmas day if mum was otherwise totally alone.

However, that is not the case and it is unfair of her to expect her colleagues to do shifts while she never takes a turn. I worked in hospitality as a student and my parents had jobs involving Christmas working (police/nursing). We accepted it and worked around.

She could do boxing day, NYE, NYD and still have Christmas with her mum? Or Xmas eve, then travel with mum and do NYE/NYD.

have you checked she's not going with them?

God what kind of person uses a dead parent that way? That's horrible so even more reason to give them the heads up.

I guess it possible she doesn't yet know her mum has made other plans. Or maybe mum was cajoled into these other plans but fully intends on pulling out and Aurelia knows this. On the face of it it certainly looks like she's taking the piss but I would be very careful about making assumptions. Not sure what the solution is though.

I would approach management privately and not discuss with anyone in workplace. I have worked many holidays at places with complicated distribution of holidays “fairly”. There are ALWAYS co workers…I have children(so does 90%of the predominantly female staffers) my parent died ( death of parent affects most everyone at sometime) religious service attendance (how many services offered). My final straw was a 64 y.o coworker who openly loudly spoke about not putting up a tree not cooking not baking (mostly doing nothing to celebrate) with 2 adult DC no GC getting the week of Christmas off every year. Yes every single year for years as she was senior staff. Once I brought this up to management they initiated and carried thru with rotating days.

This.

I mean, sad though it is to be widowed, you can't really expect your adult dc to be given dispensation not to work for evermore.

What a bloody cheek of Aurelia! Yea I would tell on her.

Thanks all.

I think I'll mention it to management but it makes me feel a bit school childish "telling on" someone. I just feel sad that there's a couple of colleagues with toddlers who will have to work Christmas Day. If Aurelia worker then one of them could be relieved for that shift this year.

Aunt and Aurelia's mom are very close and are both widows and support each other a lot. My aunt isn't keen on Aurelia and no, she definitely won't be heading down.

Aurelia is a bit of a party girl and it was her that I covered last NYE and NYD (ie did 5 festive shifts not 3) while she had a "migraine" big night out and subsequent come down. It was a manager who found out this in January and told me (I know I know 😬).

I'm just worried that if I let on, the management might see it as sour grapes because of me cancelling my NYE 2022 plans for Aurelia's "migraine". But it's really not. As a PP said, this behaviour is bad for staff morale.

I think I'd speak to her first, tell her that you know her story is bollocks and give her a chance to change her availability.

Edited as I misspelled bollocks!

Aurelia’s not very bright is she?!

@Christmasconundrum23 can't you speak to 'that' manager then? If anything he is more likely to believe it's not sour grapes.

Just tell Aurelia that her mum is going away and so it's fine for her to cover shifts and see if she changes her tune?

I think I'll mention it to management but it makes me feel a bit school childish "telling on" someone

The problem is that CFs rely on people not wanting to be petty/tell tales in order to get away with their CFery

I would maybe leave it a few days and then approach management and say you had been speaking to your mum and asked about Christmas, as you'd be working you wanted to check she wasn't going to be alone, and she said she was going away with Aurelia's mum, which contradicted her assertion that she needed Xmas off to spend with her mum.

If they're any good then they should be pulling Aurelia into a meeting to say "We have been given information that your mother is going away for Xmas so we will not be honouring the special dispensation for Xmas off and we will be putting you back in the Xmas rotas" without explicitly saying "OP told us you're a dirty liar".

Any good manager would be able to handle the situation if you told them in a "I'm really sorry i know this is awkward but it's damaging team morale so I have to say it and let you decide what if anything to do" way. What you can't do is go in moaning that it's not fair (even though it isn't). Present it as a team problem.

Seeing as she faked a sicky last year the manager is probably assuming she'll do the same this year so no point even asking her. But really she should have been sacked for lying.