To remain off sick?

[Utterbunkum]

I work for an agency but am currently on a long term assignment. Things first started to go a bit pear shaped in July when I was horribly ill. It seemed like a chest infection and sinusitis all rolled into one, fever, the works. I tested for COVID but it was negative. I had a week off work, but was in reality sick for about four weeks, it just happened to be just as summer hols were starting (I work in a school). Now I am ill again, have been off a week already with a horrendous cough. I can't talk without setting off a coughing fit. Even doing little bits around the house wipes me out. I am going to the docs tomorrow (soonest appointment I could get, I rang last week), but I feel so dreadful about work.

I have never had so much illness in such a short space of time. I only joined the agency in April. I feel like I am letting people down and giving in to this, but I feel I have got stuck. Not getting worse, but not getting better either. It's the fact I just can't throw this off/take a pill and get on with it. There's a part of me that thinks I am not trying hard enough, if that makes sense, but if I go in and really struggle, I can't just drop them in it in the middle of they day, they are short staffed as it is, hence the agency involvement, who can at least arrange cover when I call in sick.
I grew up with the sort of work ethic that decrees you go in unless you are on your deathbed. Also, as agency, I don't get paid sick either.
DH and family think it's right for me to continue being off. I think some of this is the illness itself getting me down. I am hoping the doctor can shed a bit of light. It just seems a long time to be off with a minor illness, especially as I am not 'in bed' ill (though I haven't moved from the settee much).
Sorry for the long post.

I understand why you feel guilty - I always do when off work too, but you can't help being ill. The agency are sorting out cover, which is their job to do. I also work in a school via an agency so completely understand!

If you don't take proper time off you won't recover.

Hope you feel better soon.

YANBU. I understand why you feel guilty - I too was brought up with the notion that unless you are on your deathbed you should drag yourself into work. You need to take the time to get better. I really hope your GP appointment can shed some light on why you're feeling so rotten. Take it easy and remember your health is the most important thing here.

Please update on how you get on at your GP appointment. Good luck.

Since you work with children, there is no point to be having "a body" at work. You actually need to be well enough to engage. You are not letting anyone down, the agency is there to provide the cover and have hundreds of people on their books waiting for the phone call in the morning.

I think that's it, Catza, it's SEN kids I work with as well who are quite physically boisterous and my work involves a lot of energetic play. Conversely, though, education is one of those areas where people tend to push through, which adds to my guilt, even though I know you are right.

Update: thanks all, docs are putting me on antibiotics and I am scheduled for blood tests.
I said to the agency I thought it would be best if I didn't go in this week. They weren't too thrilled, said they would need to confer with the school.

I moved to the area a year ago and struggled to get work then, with an exemplary sick record. A bad rep with the agency will just about finish me off.

What do they need to confer with the school about?

You are ill and off work!

It sounds like you need to register with another agency that knows how to treat their staff properly.

If it's OK for me to be off? I don't know, exactly, they just said they'd discuss it with the school and contact me when they'd spoken to them. I have a feeling they might not be finding cover...

I wouldn't feel guilty. It's not ideal, but you're not being paid sick so it's not impacting them financially. More inconveniencing them that they can't use you, especially when recruitment and cover is already so difficult to come across. The climate in schools for recruitment and cover is dire nationally ... Yes, they'll be a bit of resentment that you're off, but that's not your problem. Try to switch off and rest up.