To ask my In Laws to stay in a B&B when they come over to our Wedding?

[callmeovercautious]

DP and I are getting Married in the Summer. In Laws usually stay here no problems (MIL is here now). But BIL will be here too. DP and I want to come home after the reception to be with DD who will have been with a babysitter all evening.

I suggested yesterday that as there is not enough beds for them and BIL that it might be nice for them to stay at a B&B where the other visitors are staying.

The answer... no BIL can sleep on the couch

AIBU to expect that the night of our Wedding we can have our house to ourselves? and that at 6am the next Morning I won't have to wake up a hungover BIL so I can sit on MY Sofa and BF DD?????

How the hell do I get out of this one?

Instead of pussy-footing about saying there aren't enough beds, tell him the real reason

Dp has said he will do that if it comes to it

I think he needs to do that now, not wait until a few weeks before the wedding - I think at the moment your in laws think its all sorted and that they're staying at yours. Tell them now so they can sort themselves out.

and YANBU

YANBU - Just say as you can appreciate it is going to be our wedding night and we are likely to want to consumate our marriage very loudly then ask if they are sure they really want to stay? If they do i'd make lots of loud noises

Can you come home after the wedding for a bit to BF dd and express some milk then stay in a B&B while inlaws look after dd? At least that way they can stay and you can still have some privacy and a lie in?

We were thinking about that LoveMyGirls. She won't need feeding in the night (she is 18m) but loves her Morning BFs and if we are at home that is what she will want. I have never left her for a night and she does not know them very well and I can just imagine the tantrums she will throw if MIL goes in to her in the Morning

up to dp to point it out - ask him politely to do so or you won't be consumating the marriage on your first night as husband and wife

You said you MIL is staying with you at the moment, what about if she gets up to dd tomorrow while you get a lie in? Get her used to it a bit, children are very adaptable you know.

YANBU. After my wedding DH and I came home all family inc my mum and dad stayed at b&bs.
Just tell them. They wouldnt expect to go to a hotel with you would they?
Its your wedding night and supposed to be special!

Blimey, they're being a tad insensitive, aren't they?? I know that you live together and have a dd, but it is your wedding night and you shouldn't have to spend it with your ILs dotted around your house.

Just get dp to tell his parents that, for the night of the wedding, your house is off limits to all but you, dp and dd.

Thanks LoveMyGirls - great plan - I will suggest it in a minute. I think we will go for the staying away ourselves option, she will be nearly 2 by then so pleanty of time to get her used to other people looking after her every now and then.
Freckle - a tad insensitive is their normal operating level, I have learnt to live withit on most things but I won't be backing down on this.

DP is actually getting a bit over exciting about the thought of leaving them here with DD and having a night in a hotel, breakfast in bed etc I may have to go and throw him in a cold shower I dread to think how he will be by August

Go on honeymoon so that the guests can have the house to themselves.