To ask for your toddler lifesavers?

[HareMug]

I’m burntout, really struggling. Single parent, working part time with a 3 year old. No family support around.

what did you do that helped with your toddler years? Mine is really clingy, doesn’t like to play alone. I’ve resorted to the tv a lot to get things done which is terrible. I mean, a lot, like a few hours a day just to sort washing and cleaning and get ready and stuff. Even though the house still seems to be a permanent tip. I’m exhausted. I’ve looked for help like the home help thing but they don’t cover my area.

What were your lifesavers at this age? I love my DC so much but I just want things to run a little smoother. I’m worried I’m spoiling DC by giving into them a lot but I have a lot of guilt.

My 3 year old has recently discovered bath bombs. He can stay in there a good half an hour in a bright pink/orange etc bath.
You can just sit quietly in a nicely smelling bathroom while he plays.

Also, staying out most of the morning somewhere active (playground or swimming) pool will usually mean an after lunch nap or at the very least a very calm 3 year old in front of the TV.

What does your day look like? What time is nursery, when does he sleep etc. And when do you work? Just so we can get an idea of when your tricky times of day are.

He goes to nursery two days a week when I work. We have swimming classes and then go out to the park etc. but I find that we get up and it’s tv on whilst I sort breakfast clothes etc, then maybe go out or play. Then tv whilst I do lunch, clear up from the morning, then do something else, play date or toddler group and then tv whilst I tidy do dinner etc. I rely on it so much to get stuff done in between and it’s all adding up.

What happens if you don't put the TV on while doing the practical things? When DS1 was that age and clingy he generally followed me around with a constant monologue while I just got on with stuff? There was definitely whining about wanting to play, but I either roped him into "helping" or explained how long it would take and the options were playing by himself or bringing a toy and playing with me. I definitely did things in bits rather than big chunks of activity, and cooking anything that required precise timings wasn't going to happen, but he was pretty accepting of things like hanging out laundry / clearing the table.

Have you tried having him help with making meals? My 3 year old loves to 'help' in the kitchen. Sometimes that means mixing things that don't really need mixing, sometimes that means eating all the raw carrot before it's gone in the meal but it's OK. I read it would help her with fussy eating which is a bit hit and miss but she does enjoy being helper.

Also for sorting clothes, I tend to sort a whole week's worth of outfits in one evening. I stack the clothes with socks and underwear in a basket so each morning when it's busy I can grab one little bundle. Often clothes don't make it to the wardrobe- off the airer and into the stack for the week.

When DD was a toddler I bought one of those little child cleaning sets with the tiny mop and bucket. She spent hours helping me clean, loved mopping the floors the most.

How do you have hours of cleaning and 'things to do around the house' during a single day though?

TV is fine imo but in moderation, but ultimately the more you rely on it the less your child will be able to play. I tend to use TV as quiet time, so half an hour or so in the morning in the run up to breakfast before getting ready and then half an hour sometimes in the evening to calm her down a bit. On a really rainy day we might sit down to watch a movie together, but I wouldn't leave her watching TV for hours by herself.

To get things done I do some things around the toddler, and others wait until the evening. So maybe I'll bring the basket of clean clothes into her room and fold them there while she plays putting her dolls to bed.
If I wipe down the kitchen I give her a cloth and she either 'helps me' or wipes her toy kitchen.

I use a basket that I put her clothes into as outfits of the week so getting dressed is quite quick and easy, it's simply the next thing in the basket complete with vest etc.

my DD is 2.5 years old, when I unload the dishwasher she passes me plates now, she’s been doing so for the last few months, we have broken one plate so far which is not bad at all. When I cook I just stand her by the sink and she washes the veg… I mean like for 25mins… it’s more like water play in the sink with veg tbh! when I do laundry, when I’m getting it out the basket I get her to take them to the washing machine- we live in an apartment so no stairs, so that normally takes her around 8 rounds! (Anything to get her steps in to knacker her out)
DD only goes in nursery 2 days and I work them days so it’s very similar to you. I took her to a baking class and soft play today, tomorrow we are going to the local farm there’s a lot of few activities happening for half term. Wednesday and Thursday are nursery days, Friday I havent thought that far yet! Saturday is normally swimming and ballet but it’s half term so no lessons… But I try to take her out everyday- I find if I try to involve her more with what I’m doing she’s less likely to ask for ‘coco’ which is cocomelon! I use to use the iPad, tv and phone way too much with her, I personally go through love, hate relationships with Netflix! ESP now with the colder weather coming in, it gets harder and harder and with the sickness. Dressing is super easy, I just pop her in matching top and bottoms, everything I buy normally is matched up so it’s always the same combo. Standard vest, socks, t shirt, pink pants and pink jumper, or green pants and green jumper etc the vest socks and t shirt is same everyday unless going to a special occasion. Breakfast is always super quick, cereal and a bit of toast or scrambled eggs and smashed avocado with toast, nothing that takes more than five or ten mins so she doesn’t get impatient. If she’s woken up angry and I was planning on scrambled eggs, I would just take her toothbrush and let her brush by kitchen sink so I can get breakfast out when she’s done that. Hope this helps!

Oh I wanna add I take her out everyday is because I get bored sh1tless being in all day! Not because I think it’s better or anything

My toddlers really like cleaning the table with a sponge when I am cooking, or endlessly chopping mushrooms.

My lifesavers though are both boxes: one box of multiple wooden puzzles that toddler will do over and over again
Other box is the craft box. It's an unfussy craft box which comes out when I'm ill, exhausted etc then everything gets dumped back in it. Stuff like pipe cleaners, tissue paper etc.

The other one is playdough. But in order to make it less stressful you have to accept that some of the playdough may not make it, and may need replacing quite often!!