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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why is ‘crying after sex’ a joke?

1 reply

Monetm · 22/10/2023 18:12

I feel like I’ve heard this said as a put-down particularly for men: ‘oh, he looks like the type who’d cry after sex’ with the implication that makes someone ridiculous and unattractive.

I mean I totally get why this might not be exactly the reaction you’re looking for in a lover, especially if you’re young and just looking for a casual good time. And there are some women who just like their man to be very stereotypically manly and never show any emotion. I’m female and late 30s, had never really paid any attention to this expression until recently when I’ve noticed I’ve started getting a bit tearful after orgasm maybe partly due to hormones, but also due to some personal history and some stuff I’m going through (not sexual abuse). It feels quite wrenching, down to the roots of what makes you a person and your feelings about your whole life. AIBU to think that if someone male or female cries after sex there’s a reason for it, and it’s actually quite fucked up to treat it as a joke?

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 22/10/2023 18:19

Im sorry for whatever you went through and I think people joke about it because it's a kind of taboo subject otherwise. I doubt any men would admit doing it and probably not many women either. I think joking is a way of deflecting the subject before the question inevitably gets asked, have you ever?

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