To ask what is taking so long?

Monetm · 22/10/2023 14:59

Bad constipation?

Ask him?

pinkyredrose · 22/10/2023 15:00

Is he constipated maybe? What's his diet like?

happylittlesloth · 22/10/2023 15:00

He might be quicker if he takes a phone? Or maybe he's shaving?

PosteriorPosterity · 22/10/2023 15:01

How old is he? Is he doing teenage boy things?

happylittlesloth · 22/10/2023 15:01

Or maybe he's taken a book for the loo

Original poster

JumpingCrickets · 22/10/2023 15:03

I don’t think he’s constipated but I’ll have to fond a polite way to ask. He’s 12. I think he just day dreams a lot to be honest

OP posts:

Catza · 22/10/2023 16:50

My partner does that and it drives me mad. His daughter is doing the same. It’s bonkers but they feel it’s their space to be alone. Apparently 3 bedrooms in the house is not enough for their privacy. Totally bonkers but I don’t need to know what they are up to in there. I just let them know there is a queue building up after about 15 min.

FarFromApple · 22/10/2023 16:56

JumpingCrickets · 22/10/2023 14:58

DS often takes upwards of 30-40 mins going the toilet in the mornings. He doesn’t have a phone yet so I know he’s not staring at that. and I don’t want to intrude but we only have one bathroom for everyone and it can’t keep going on

Could he just be slow at going? I always take long poos

PuzzledMind · 22/10/2023 17:04

Catza · 22/10/2023 16:50

My partner does that and it drives me mad. His daughter is doing the same. It’s bonkers but they feel it’s their space to be alone. Apparently 3 bedrooms in the house is not enough for their privacy. Totally bonkers but I don’t need to know what they are up to in there. I just let them know there is a queue building up after about 15 min.

Never heard of the toilet being a place for solitary peace!

PuzzledMind · 22/10/2023 17:06

FarFromApple · 22/10/2023 16:56

Could he just be slow at going? I always take long poos

Show quote history

He could also have a skincare routine. Along with a long poo, it could add up to 30-40 minutes?

Leo227 · 22/10/2023 17:10

... maybe sorting himself out in the one locked room for privacy?

Original poster

JumpingCrickets · 22/10/2023 17:21

I asked him in a non direct way to not cause embarrassment, he says he sometimes has some toilet problems but that also he is just slow. (Which is true, he takes ages to get ready or brush his teeth, it’s not that he doesn’t do things he just does them slowly) I don’t know how best to say hurry up a bit without rushing him

OP posts:

Catza · 22/10/2023 17:24

PuzzledMind · 22/10/2023 17:04

Never heard of the toilet being a place for solitary peace!

Edited

Show quote history

Me neither but my partner grew up with a controlling dad and three siblings sharing a room. Toilet was the only place where he could be alone reading comic books and the habit stuck. His daughter lives at mums and comes to us for weekends. She has two younger siblings at home, her granny, mum and a step dad. I am guessing she picked up a habit of sitting in a loo for some quiet time.

TheOwlChronicles · 22/10/2023 17:27

With a child aged 12, and d be doing a bit more than asking in a non direct way!

Everyone poos so start with that. Be lighthearted. But he's said he's having some troubles so it's your job to find out if he needs to see a doctor

Monetm · 22/10/2023 17:41

JumpingCrickets · 22/10/2023 17:21

I asked him in a non direct way to not cause embarrassment, he says he sometimes has some toilet problems but that also he is just slow. (Which is true, he takes ages to get ready or brush his teeth, it’s not that he doesn’t do things he just does them slowly) I don’t know how best to say hurry up a bit without rushing him

Could you make a family timetable of when everybody gets to use the bathroom in the morning (e.g. 7.20am for you, 7.40am for DH) and schedule him last? Then at least he won’t be holding you up and you can be doing other stuff to get ready while he’s in there?

User3735 · 22/10/2023 18:30

If you can't directly shout through the door 'Hurry up DS other people need to use the bathroom too' for fear of embarrassing and upsetting him then he is going to have serious issues handling criticism as an adult and in relationships. Why the need to ponder how to do it so sensitively?

Coldinscotland · 22/10/2023 18:32

Morning wood and he is worried about leaving the bathroom incase it returns??

Coldinscotland · 22/10/2023 18:32

God I hope nobody is Googling that...

Original poster

JumpingCrickets · 22/10/2023 18:57

Monetm · 22/10/2023 17:41

Could you make a family timetable of when everybody gets to use the bathroom in the morning (e.g. 7.20am for you, 7.40am for DH) and schedule him last? Then at least he won’t be holding you up and you can be doing other stuff to get ready while he’s in there?

Show quote history

I suppose that is something I could think about yes, thank you for the idea 🙂

OP posts:

Original poster

JumpingCrickets · 22/10/2023 19:01

TheOwlChronicles · 22/10/2023 17:27

With a child aged 12, and d be doing a bit more than asking in a non direct way!

Everyone poos so start with that. Be lighthearted. But he's said he's having some troubles so it's your job to find out if he needs to see a doctor

I get that it seems a bit silly to be so sensitive in skating round the topic, but he is rather timid, especially around private things like that. His brother is the opposite but I do feel as though I need to be more active in talking to him to help him be more open.

I know everyone poos, including me 😅I just need to be more open with that fact. I’m going to be making an appointment with the GP.

OP posts:

Original poster

JumpingCrickets · 22/10/2023 19:02

Coldinscotland · 22/10/2023 18:32

Morning wood and he is worried about leaving the bathroom incase it returns??

What do you mean?

OP posts:

TheOwlChronicles · 22/10/2023 19:09

@JumpingCrickets morning wood is slang for an erection

Original poster

JumpingCrickets · 22/10/2023 19:13

TheOwlChronicles · 22/10/2023 19:09

@JumpingCrickets morning wood is slang for an erection

Ah I see 😅😳I thought it might be but was scared to google

Maybe, it’s obviously an awkward topic for him so it’s difficult to know. But he is at that age

OP posts:

Treetops0 · 25/10/2023 14:43

Did you manage to find out OP?

Stephisaur · 25/10/2023 14:50

We're all terrible for it at our house 😂

DH and I will often zone out when we're in the loo. Our 5 year old just seems to take forever for no real reason.

If someone is taking a bit too long, we usually knock the door and say "there's a queue you know" 😂