Work colleague annoys me

[PandoraBox2]

I’ve been working in a new job for 9 weeks and I hate to say this but there’s a colleague that really annoys me, I don’t get annoyed easily so this is new territory for me and I’m wondering if I’m over- reacting but just looking for a place to rant really - she constantly talks and I mean constantly. I’ve tried to block her out with “uh, mmm, yeah” whilst I’m working but she’s relentless! One comment she makes everyday - “have you eaten?”, I responded with “yes I have thanks” everytime for 8 weeks But last week I don’t know why it pisses me off so I started responding with “ look at the size of me, you don’t have to worry about my eating” (I’m a size 18). She just laughed and continues asking me after every break and every lunch. I’m trying to cut down my eating so I feel her comments make me think about food more!

she asks for advice on everything and I mean everything (not work related). I had a 25 minute conversation with her of how she can find a dentist. I mean it’s a 3 minute max conversation but she manages to this with every topic. She really annoys me. I hate the way she smiled at me and asks personal questions all the time. She annoys the hell out of me. I’m there till December and they want me to renew my contract but seriously I can’t stand her. She could drag a 2 minute conversation that people have into a 2 hour one. I really can’t stand her.

The day we do have lunch same time I just sit in another area where she can’t find me but she keeps asking where I went and she was looking everywhere for me. I need a break from her. There’s another colleague in the department (a man) and I can see he tries to avoid her but he’s management so he can sit in his own room.

she makes me so on edge it’s crazy I feel my head is buzzing constantly with her noise. I even spilt my tea over myself one time when she wouldn’t stop asking questions it was obviously by mistake but I’m trying to concentrate on things but she’s chattering away in the background. I feel bad when I ignore her and try to be kind but it’s affecting me.

OMG OP, do we work for the same company??? 🤔

I WFH, but have a similarly annoying colleague. I'll turn my computer on and she calls within seconds! She would talk for an hour each time if I don't shut it down-or not answer. Its mainly not work related, but does ask how to do things and then goes on about her weekend, health issues, her adult children's issues and more! When she isn't working, she will whatsapp the group to tell everyone the same, boring nonsense.

Do you know why she is asking whether you have eaten? Is it to point out your size, trying to see if you are dieting or just for more chit chat? You need to be firmer. Is she asks whether you've eaten, I'd say 'Marjorie, why do you ask them that every, single day???' Also, shut down the constant chit chat- 'I'm trying to concentrate now' etc as others have suggested. YOU aren't being rude, SHE is!

During your break, could you walk to a nearby park to get some peace? If it continues, speak to your manager and ask whether you could move desks.

Ask her to stop chatting and let you work.!Raise it higher if she won’t - ask if you can move office as she’s so distracting. No wonder they need extra staff - the guy you work with should be able to back you up.

Thank you everyone. I was trying to be vague - it’s a teaching role so I only see her during non-teaching time. I just feel exhausted our free lessons are the same so I get no rest. It’s either the students which is obviously part of the job and then on my breaks and free periods it’s her! I hate her asking me every bloody day if I’ve eaten. I think she’s trying to be nice but I just find her really intrusive. She asks me about everything. I have ignored her but she repeats till I give her an answer.

I would tell her that it's really bothering you that she asks if you've eaten everyday. Just say your trying to cut down and not think about food so much, so she's really not helping.
And say you're taking up listening to audio books at break times and put some headphones on!

This exactly. I had this same issue years ago and it drove me crackers 😑.
In the end I just told her straight. She sulked for a while but her behaviour improved after that.

'Have you eaten ?'

'Why do you ask?' Quizzical look

OK, given your update. Headphones.

Definitely headphones/earbuds. Make sure they are NOT discreet ones. Initially say that you have training/podcasts/e-learning you need to listen to

After that just point to your very visible earpieces

And ignore her voice each time

She'll get used to it. You need to train her by zoning her out and boundrying her

Yes I would say you have been a bit stressed lately so are going to be listening to audio books in your breaks as it helps you wind down . And just do that .

it’s true in a way isn’t it ?

I think there is no alternative to being direct. Jane, I'm trying to work and you chatting is stopping me. We have little enough prep time as it is, please can you hush.

I have one. She has a big loud screech of a voice, and never shuts up. I think she might have histrionic personality disorder. Everything and nothing is attention-seeking dramatics and she has no boundaries. We all know her relationship history, her financial woes and even her damp bowel problems. The relentless noise she makes has had me in tears in the loo before.

What has helped- we have hybrid working. I have asked discreetly if we could perhaps not be scheduled in at the same time and that is mostly accommodated. Sometimes I can also move my wfh days to avoid her. I was not allowed to change desk for made-up reasons, but I did ask. Ear plugs are a must. You can put headphones over them too to play white noise. I've told them I can't tune out lots of talking and therefore can't concentrate. (It's open plan so generally a bit background-noisy but she's two feet away high-pitched screeching and wailing and whooping). I go out at lunch, always, whatever the weather. I also don't engage. I might seem rude but that type doesn't notice as it's all about them. She'd talk at a wall and if you give her any encouragement like even saying you're going to get milk, the screaming starts. I'm also not emotionally invested in this job and hoping to move on inside the next six months so not caring if people think I'm a weird earplug lady helps a bit too.

Can you find an empty classroom and work there? She sounds incredibly irritating.

Sympathies with this - it's so frustrating.
I had one of these, made worse by the fact that she was supervisor to about 8 of us. She'd spend the first half hour of every day wittering on about her tedious life, and constantly interrupt our work with self-obsessed chatter about all sorts of shit.
Then she had the nerve to complain when work wasn't done on time, and woe betide any of us if we dared to speak to anyone other than her.
She was in a relationship with the department head so there was no resolution.
I stuck it for a few months and left.

I have one of these, I find it exhausting and draining to deal with. If she’s not talking about her adult children, she’s telling me what she had for tea. Or she’s telling me what happened when her hairdresser went to the doctor. She’ll get a text from one of her children and she’ll tell me what it said. Chatter all day long about nothing interesting.

Omg I had something like this years ago except he spoke to himself. drove me crackers anytime I had to go into his office which was open plan. He'd be like - now where's that drawing, oh yes here it is, now what change did I have to do, oh yes, that's it, right here we go. Think I'll have a cuppa, where's my mug, got it, right, ..... Then he'd start whistling. Omg how the others got any work done amazed me

Ooh come on, you need to grown up this situation.
You say ‘sorry I need to focus. Can we talk later. Thanks.’ Then put headphones in and ignore.

This sounds sensible and kind advice!
I had a colleague like that, the ONLY time she'd be quiet was lunchtime when she'd get absorbed in her social media feeds
I ensured our lunch hours were at different times, to buy myself an nice long break from her!

I think you"re being a bit unfaor there @qwerty123454 . They're just rhetorical questions used as conversation starters., not meant to be taken literally! I guess the same for the "have you eater" comment, annoying though it is.
These people are sent to try us OP!