To expect people who have RSVP'ed to come to my child's party?

[IVCaffeine]

Two of the boys are ill, fair enough, but two are not coming "just because". I'm sorry, but you have RSVP'ed, I have paid £12.50 per head per child and then THE NIGHT BEFORE you tell me you are not coming? I'm sorry, what have I missed here? That's £50 down the spout-I'm an S.P. on £8k a year, £50 means an awful lot to me! I am so ANGRY! Urgh! You took the effort to RSVP, I do not care if you don't want to buy her a present, at least have the courtesy to come!

och no, that is shite. i'm sorry they've been so thoughtless. i hope your dd has a wonderful time at her party. try to forget about it, don't let it spoil the mood.

YANBU at all.

At elast they let you now before - I get fed up when they say they will come and just don't turn up ansd then don't apologise

That's truly awful. I'd guess you've already tried the place to see if they will reduce the charge? They might do it for goodwill? [faint hope emoticon]

We've done this a few times to poeple- never intentional but because the car has gone pop or DH ahs been called into work and we don't have transport. Always feel awful and always make a point of sending a nice gift / card on to at least part make up for it.

YANBU to be upset at all, of course- its a lot of money

You need at least 15 kiddies and I only had 16 to begin with. Ooooh thank you all for backing me up on this one. Have emailed them and told them that I'm sad that they can't come as dd was really looking forward to seeing them there and I will not speak to them at nursery until they apologise/hand over hungry hungry hippos/give me £15! He he, no, only joking, like you said Tommy at least they told me-I'll be so mad if people don't show up on top of that-you poor lady! xx

yanbu. a friend of mine had this problem 2 years running - it was the same kids who didn't turn up, no warning nothing. of course she still had to pay for them!

If they told me the car was kaput I really wouldn't mind as we have a bike so have parties we can't get to because I didn't realise it was on a motorway or something, but I always apologise and give a nice pressie, but both parents literally said they are not coming "because we can't be bothered" and "because dd is scared of the other children". They are all in the same class-and we play at scared dd's house regularly!

things can crop up last minute especially with children

it wil happen to you too one day

what?! they said that? I wouldn't dare!! esp. when it's so obviously a very poor excuse.

We had two say they were coming and then just not turn up. After being paid for. We were a bit p'd off at that.

I know things can crop up with kiddies and it does happen to me, and I don't have a problem as long as you say "we can't get there" or "hammy's eye fell out" or even "dd has outgrown her shoes so cannot walk to the party" as long as there is a reason beyond not being bothered-it makes me think that my child is unliked/blacklisted by said family, which makes me sad inside

i wouldn't take that personally, tbh. what you have there is a VERY ignorant person, that's got bugger all to do with you or dd.

He he, you can come and be my agony/councelling aitch person! Dd just said "well I don't like them anyway, we just won't invite them next year". The insights of a 6 y/o-fabulous!

your dd is totally right, you know. what a bright and perceptive child you are raising.

Am soooooooooooo paranoid that the mums in question are secretly stalking this thread, but does it matter to me? It should not matter to me, I am a grown woman but I am secretly thinking of ringing them all to see if they are awake or asleep and from that ascertain whether they are truely reading this thread!! Argh! xx Thank you Aitch-think it's more her than me though-ha ha! We have a fairly laid back attitude in this house though-if someone snubs us we treat them as we always have and just don't invite them again, and dd has taken it on board-good girl!!

Not being unreasonable at all! It's so inconsiderate. Try not to let it ruin your dds party. I'd send the parents a bill to recover the lost money!

I have 4 dcs between 14 and 4, so have thrown a fair few parties. It never ceases to amaze me (though I have started to distance myself from it for my own sanity !)that every time one or more of the following will occur:

• no response whatsoever even if you request RSVP (often these parents do it to several others; their child might go to one or 2 parties; God knows why the rest are shunned )
• no response still when a polite reminder has been emailed/phoned/texted - I know invitations get mislaid/forgotten, have done this myself, but will ALWAYS reply to a reminder. It's not hard.
• turn up having not RSVPed, often with child with streaming nose/hacking cough/temperature, and perhaps a similarly affected sibling in tow.
• feeble last minute excuses like the OP's guests gave. One family, when i was at the stage of inviting the whole class for ds2, would ring on the morning of the party saying X has had a nosebleed/car won't start/sister ill. All plausible, but from the same family ??

Thats awful.

I had to ring a mum up yesterday and pull out of her ds's party as my dd was ill. I felt terrible doing that and we had a genuine reason.

We had one child not turn up to DS's party having RSVP'd. The problem was that we were taking 3 cars of children to bowling. So we have 9 hyped up children and we are waiting for this one - do we just go or what? In the end DH went round to his house and they had plain forgotten about it and he was out in the woods walking the dog. But they pulled it round and got him there onl about 10 mins late, with a card and a tenner and a packet of liquorice allsorts for DS and a bunch of flowers for me as an apology.

I must be the only one who thinks £12.50 per child is a lot on a birthday party. I was waiting for someone else to mention it.

This is unfortunatly a common thing with people now I find. They really don't get that a lot of preparation goes into a party, and that if you are restricted to numbers you could've asked others in their place had you known they weren't coming.

i would't jump to that conclusion, tbh.my dd is only 2, i wouldn't have a clue how much it costs to go to a soft play party.

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YANBU, this is one of the reason dd is not having a softplay party. I've booked the church hall so it's only x amount whoever turns up. Will be doing a few party games and a bit of food but most of the kids are 3-5 so won't eat much. Mind you this is my first time doing a party so guess I may change my mind

I agree that obviously some kids will say yes to the invite and then have a genuine reason for not going or may genuinely forget. yet another parenting problem

I guess it depends on what is included in party - if food then it is proabbly ok if not seems ££. One near us was about £100 for up to 12 kids, excluding food, then a price per additional child on top . Agree if they decide to say yes then should stick to it and not go flakey the day before , illness apart of course. However if you are going to begrudge the cost of cancellations perhaps you should arrange a smaller, less expensive party next time.

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