Bullying sister from hell

[Tollyphono]

I have an issue with my sister and I’m frustrated that she has so much power in my family despite everything she has done. Her bullying started when I started earning…

1. when I had my first job, she started saying I had to but her “seasonal presents” now I was earning. She would pick out clothes, hairdryers, LPs and manipulated me into buying them for her in return for her being a “protection racket” for me at high school.
2. she encouraged me to move in with her when I graduated, my dad paid for my rent direct to her whilst I got on my feet (I moved 200 miles away) but even though she has money from my dad, she also charged me rent and dictated who and what I could do in my new home city and made it really embarrassing when i started building friendships and relationships.
3. fast forward a few years and I met the man of my dreams (at the time!) so we announced we were moving in together and she made me feel as though I had made a terrible decision and refused to come and visit me in my new home.
4. during this time, she distanced herself from the rest of our family as she had become obsessed with a girl she’d met through playing hockey. She hurt a lot of people and refused to have a relationship with our nephew, saying he was at a “boring age” (up to 6yrs)
5. over 8 years with my partner, she did her best to destroy our relationship and succeeded. She told me he had become her best friend and so he had a right to know everything I wanted to keep private. She encouraged him to have an affair with one of her best friends, befriended his family and the pair of them broke my heart. She then went on a skiing holiday with him. It took years for me to recover and I did with the help of counselling.
6. i then met the man who is now my husband and had kept her away from my life. My parents insisted she came to the wedding and spent hours with my husband on our wedding day getting all emotional with him.
7. we started rebuilding our relationship, despite this, she refused to come up and see my newborn in the hospital, choosing instead to sit in the car whilst my mum visited.
8. she knew I said to our nephew (8 at the time) that he could pick anything out of a particular shop upto £20. Whilst walking there, she slowly drove past me, with our nephew in the back and said “I’ve told him he can have anything in the shop, no price limit and we’ll be there before you” and then sped off. This was during the time she found him at an “interesting age” and was trying to buy her way into his life. My other sister welcomed this and didn’t object.
9. several spats later and we’re not in touch anymore, however I’ve heard that she has adopted two young children and informed the whole family, as well as telling my mum that she has told me. That’s a lie.
10. for this December, I had arranged a family party on behalf of my mum, but she has since announced that she will be visiting my mum that weekend, and will be hosting my mum for Christmas, so our plans have had to change to accommodate her.

What the hell is wrong with this woman and why can’t anyone in the family see how poisonous she is, or am I being unreasonable?

Cut her off and live your life, she’s been jealous of you since day one since you started earning money,
Shes the type of person that will never ever change and will drag you down if you let her.
Don’t bother with her anymore she’s so toxic.

Yep, what @19847499fddqqedxx said. Who needs twats like this in their life. Enjoy your baby and husband and she can go Frick herself

Completely agree with this.
She has had years to change and she hasn't.
She is manipulative and dangerous.
I would not want her in my life or my immediate families.
You will be losing nothing by not having her in your life.
You have the patience of a saint to have lasted this long.
Let this be the end of it.

You have to cut her out - completely. Not just for your sake but for you child as well. You simply can not have someone so manipulative, who clearly wants to damage you and what you have, anywhere near your child.

Don't communicate with her, don't meet up with her, block her on everything and accept she isn't going to change.

If this means distancing yourself from your family, at least to begin with, then that is what you have to do. It isn't fair, but your family are enabling her behaviour even though they can see the harm she causes you.

I'm sorry because this is an awful situation to be in but you need to take control and remove her from your life. Half measures won't work with someone like this.

I don't know why you've pursued a relationship with her tbh. It can't just be your sister, your low self esteem and lack of boundaries has to have come from childhood. She's toxic, so it's for everyone to put good boundaries in place. She's equally your Mum's DD though. It isn't worth getting into a competition. Just make your own plans with your Mum and regardless of what is said, stay NC with her.