To still think my DB is a thug

[MissMillyFluff]

I had a pretty unconventional upbringing but that's another story. After that, DM met my dad ( he was my dad in all but biology) when I was 9. They had DB when I was 11. He's now a 42 year old spoiled entitled brat. My step dad worked away and from an early age DB was in trouble with the police. There were never any repercussions. When he was 15 I was seriously ill, the emphasis was on him as he went loopy for attention, boasting to me at the time all the drugs he experimented with, but all the while my DM and DF were all for him, I just got on with my life. Fast forward many years, DF died and DB has lived on and off in DMs house. He's a thug. He lives with her now and is an absolute nightmare. I have my own life with a husband and two beautiful girls, yet, however we try to live our life, he's always a nightmare in it. My DM is obsessed with him, he's her blue eyed boy. He's punched holes in all her doors and is a regular drug user, though he uses the mental health card. He's threatened her and basically all of his family. I understand he has mental health issues but he abuses DM when he has drink or drugs, which is often. She treats me like crap sometimes, then at other times she appears so grateful, she's very vulnerable as she had a stroke last year. I think it's a case of hurting the one you love. Last night he took an overdose of drugs, died but was brought back with CPR. I went to hospital with him, he was deeply unconscious for 6 hours, where the amazing docs thought he might not regain consciousness, but he did. After that he proceeded to be his spoiled arrogant self, calling the lovely staff cunts and telling them to fuck off. I left at five this morning. He had an amazing trade, a beautiful family with several beautiful children and a good life, yet here he is. He is an entitled brat. I'm so torn as my DM enables his behaviour, but I also need self preservation, I have bad health problems as does DH, but DB seems to preside over anything. I just feel like I can't go on like this. My DM will defend him till the day she dies and I dread that day as he'll make it all about him. Sorry for the giant message.

I'm so sorry - your brother sounds dreadful and it's a horrible family dynamic.

I'm sure your DM knows exactly what he is like. Rightly or wrongly a mothers live is always unconditional - even when the child is in the wrong.

It's very hard to live with blatant favouritism. You may need to distance yourself from both your family members to protect yourself.

Thankyou so much for your response, I agree but it's so difficult as I love DM so much even though it's a difficult relationship and she relies on me. I honestly feel like running away x

If you think your mum is in any way vulnerable, a safeguarding report to social services won’t hurt. Although, I assume they are already involved.
Drug addiction is often secondary to a psychiatric illness so there isn’t much you can do and maybe entirely out of your brother’s hands as well. It doesn’t make the situation any less horrible for you, unfortunately.

Agree to report and see if you can get your mum help but hell would freeze over before I was holding his hand in hospital put your family first from now on.

@MissMillyFluff everything you say resonates. My not so 'D' B is also an entitled narcissistic toss pot. He has been enabled by my parents and sibling his entire life; he's had a major coke habit, caused havoc in our lives and he's still the golden 'child' at 41.
He's spiteful and causes no end of problems.
I need to get away but it means basically handing him the family business on a platter which is what he's always wanted.
It'a horrible caught between a rock and a hard place.