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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think MIL is taking the mick?

5 replies

bluebss · 21/10/2023 19:46

For a bit of context, MIL is the sort of person who's incapable of going to doctors appointment and any appointment really alone, mostly because she doesn't speak english, so needs translating. she also won't settle for a translator and expects people to go out of their way to attend with her.

recently, i've been having works done at home, between that, and having gone through a flu at home, i've had to cancel a few appointments of hers as my priority was my son (1yo) who was unwell, and my renovations. since she couldn't find an alternative and wouldn't want her husband to take her (who speaks fluent english), i cancelled her appointment, as again, i couldn't attend myself.

she's been complaining of tooth pain, to which i recommended her a dentist who speak our language, so she was fine to attend on her own as going forward it wasn't realistic for me to have to attend her every appointment.

i have an upcoming hospital appointment, which she knows of, and have asked family if possible to take care of my son, as i'm having an invasive procedure done and will not be able to care for my son at the hospital. my husband had taken off a few days when my son and i fell quite ill in the last weeks, and shouldn't be taking any more days off work, so i assured him my sister would be fine to babysit our son and he didn't need to take off work for me to attend my appointment.

my mil however, thinks she's entitled to her son having to take off work to take her to the dentist appointment. he's said no multiple times, as he cannot attend, yet i've heard bang on about about five times today.

she really is taking the mick, no? would it be wrong of me to stand up since she obviously isn't listening to my husband? he's so passive sometimes and it seems like she's not respecting his answer. i feel it's not my place. but it's really annoying me with every whine i hear.

OP posts:
Mrsphilmiller · 21/10/2023 19:55

Yep, she’s annoying…

2jacqi · 21/10/2023 20:22

do you live in the same house?? just tell her that her husband will take her, failing that another sibling can take her! why does it always have to be you? if she has been in this country for a long time why has she not learned to speak the language????????????

welcometothnuthouse · 21/10/2023 20:35

She puts on you because she can, you've done your bit and she's not even your dm. Let someone else pick up the slack for a change.
The language thing would annoy me too, learn at least the basics if you live in a country not native to you.

bluebss · 21/10/2023 20:45

2jacqi · 21/10/2023 20:22

do you live in the same house?? just tell her that her husband will take her, failing that another sibling can take her! why does it always have to be you? if she has been in this country for a long time why has she not learned to speak the language????????????

no, she lives a 20 minute drive from us. and he's an only child so she thinks it's us that owe her. it's kind of ridiculous

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 21/10/2023 20:49

If you reiterate that DH won't be attending, you'll be the baddie. He has to tell her until she accepts it won't be happening.

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