to go to back to A&E after a day? I am crumbling...

[Wobblyheart]

What should have been the happiest year of my life after the arrival of my first born has so far been so sh*y!

I had a large lump and four agonising months pf investigations- thank god benign
MND worries - thank god unsubstantiated

But I kept feeling utterly awful despite numerous blood tests and investigations. Everyone around me just chalked things up to anxiety.

On Wednesday I woke up with a stitch under my left rib. Went about things as normal thinking it'll pass. Thursday it got worse. Went to A&E - they did some bloods and x Ray and said most likely muscular and sent home saying I need to follow up on any other chronic problems with the gp.

So here I am two days later and the pain is still there, and now I feel a hard lump underneath. It's elongated and hard ans kind of sausage shaped. Right under my left bottom rib. I've lost lots of weight in the last year, always exhausted beyond what you'd expect from new motherhood, my mood feels like it doesn't belong to me anymore. I am either depressed, anxious or over joyous and hyper.

But right now I am so freaking scared. Why why why there is another stupid lump?

If I went back to A&E would they scan me seeing that I am in significant amount of pain? Or do I have to wait till Monday to see.GP?

I just... can't... my baby boy is poorly with some sort of bug and I just want to lice a normal life not chasing lump after lump. Sorry I am just so emotional and feel so helpless

Glad it’s nothing sinister OP

Are you underweight? A lot of your other symptoms sounds like DD who has an ED.

@PinkFrogss yes I am, what is ED? I was always on skinnier side but was a good weight before pregnancy. After giving birth I lost crazy amount of weight - went from 10 stone pre-pregnancy to 8 stone in 2 months postpartum. Part was eating healthy during pregnancy, part was anxiety and stress and breastfeeding and eating less. But I always queried this with GPs and no one ever was able to offer explanation. I used (and still can) eat incredible amount of food, several bars of chocolate + cake per day and not put weight on.

Very happy to see it was just a rib. (Suspected it would be)
Hope you continue to get good help with your anxiety.
The best tip I can give you is to stop googling all your perceived symptoms, as it's not going to help.

ED = eating disorder

Are you purging in any way?
(You don't have to answer publicly)
Purging = induced vomiting, induced bowel movements (taking laxatives), overexercising.
Or are you just not eating as much as you seem to think you are doing?

@SophieinParis gosh, I agree with everything you are saying. Trouble is the anxiety (and I can see it logically) I know that investigating and paying attention to these kind of things does me or anyone else any good but when you are in a spiral there is no stopping it. Truly, anxiety can be so debilitating. I really wish there was a simple answer to it but so far even with medication it has been difficult to control. Perhaps, I need more meds.

Sorry OP should have been clearer - ED is an eating disorder, my daughter suffers from anorexia.

Being completely neutral, I know you said you used to eat lots and not put on weight, but you’ve also been tested for thyroid problems and none have been found. Do you think you could have a discussion with someone - partner, family member, close friend, and ask if they have any concerns over your eating? It’s easy to be in denial or think you are eating normally.

Either way I’m glad you’re getting some help with your anxiety. I think you need to get to the bottom of what is causing you to be underweight, gain weight and a lot of your health concerns will ease up

I'm glad it turned out to be nothing sinister OP. I'm afraid I am no help with anxiety but just wanted to highlight, that if you are breastfeeding it can cause night sweats (it was described to me at one time that your hormones are as if you are in a menopause type state). I also get ridiculous night sweats with any virus the children bring home.

I do hope you find a way to manage it soon. I also struggle with it but am able to bury it most days and ignore.

Hi OP, do you have any toilet issues? When I suffered from bad constipation in the past I had lumps in my abdomen (poop and gas 😩), awful bloating and it would feel almost as if my floating ribs were getting pushed outwards against my ribcage. Very uncomfortable and I wonder if you might have similar.

I don’t blame you for being worried after what happened with the last lump! It sounds like you are in the process of trying hard with your MH and I think that will help some of your physical symptoms ❤️

I had a baby 2 years ago and honestly I am so pissed off that no one really tells you what to expect of your body afterwards.

We are primed to worry that we’ll have stretch marks, saggier boobs, wrinkled stomach skin, all of which are completely harmless. No one tells you about the nights sweats, joint pain, absolute hormonal chaos that can last years afterwards. I have almost all the symptoms you listed OP and there’s nothing wrong with me. That includes two benign lumps (one in neck and one under breast). My bodies just “WTF” after having a baby and is taking a while to settle back down. No one prepares you for it so your left feeling like a stranger in your own body.

Ah I see :) Definitely not eating disorder, or if I have it it is binge eating all the time lol. So should be putting weight on rather than being skinny. I have always been a thin child and adult and actually would want to have more weight than less so I never wanted to become thinner ))

Yes to all of that.

It's significant that all they tell you (or what is focused on) is what's important to the male gaze.