Keeping things going with Covid

[afirsttimemum]

Hi there,

I have my MIL visiting for 2 weeks and during the first week we all got covid, including the baby, all with bad symptoms. I'm breastfeeding and I'm also the only one baby will eat his meals with so even though I'm really ill, I'm the one looking after him and up with him feeding at night. I've been organising mine and babys meals, medicines and doing all the laundry. This morning my partner said I haven't been lifting a finger (he thinks he does everything around here just because he did some cooking and kept on top of dishes, bear in mind he was off work sick). While he's been looking at me annoyed that I haven't been doing much around the house, he made sure his mum rested the whole time and didn't let her touch a thing. I am so upset and I believe this is not a normal loving relationship.

Research on group dynamics suggests that it is normal for each member of a group to perceive that they are the one doing the most amount of work. Arguing about it is usually pointless. You’ve all been sick and when someone feels crappy, they are cranky. Unless this comment is a part of a larger pattern of lack of compassion, empathy and appreciation from your partner, I wouldn’t worry about the state of your relationship.
When my partner huffs and puffs that he has to do the cleaning after work and I was (working) at home all day, I point out that he still had to clean but now he is doing it while annoyed and invite him to think whether it was helpful. But he is self-aware about his short fuse so can take it on a chin and laugh about it.