feeling like i have been diagnosed with post-natal depression before the bump has even been born??

[youngmumandbump]

hi mumsnetters im only 17 so only a young mum really and i have been 'warned' to watch out for signs of post-natal depression after bumps born. i know im probably over reacting but it seems like because im only young and it appears to be more common in young mums i have been diagnosed with it before bump has even arrived!! x

I think it is mentioned to all of us. It can be hard to spot the signs, easy to overlook so it's only right that we should be told what to look out for. It doesn't necessarily mean that it's being assumed you will have this problem after your baby is born.

hi youngmumandbump, welcome to mumsnet! When is your lo due? I have no idea what the statistics are for pnd but I was 19 when I had my first child and I didn't have it apart from the 3 day baby blues which is pretty normal. Like MsHighwater says you need to know what to look for but it doesn't mean you will have it.

My sister had her son at 16, and often felt judged by the health professionals involved (actually, so did I sometimes at 25).
It is important to be aware of the possible signs of PND whatever your age, but no need to dwell on it overmuch at the moment.
Good luck, and take care!

PND is hard to spot sometimes, you're often the last person to know, but there's no need to worry, most people get through it just fine, just try and relax and enjoy your pg and your baby!!!! Congrats by the way!!!

congrats, like others have mentioned, pnd sneaks up on you, its a cumulative thing, so i imagine it was a 'heads up' and probly not your age (i was warned about it as well, and i was 21)

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thanks for the advice mumsnetters, i just wasnt sure if it was routinely mentioned to everyone as the way they put it felt like it was just aimed at teenagers. sometimes just wish they would tell me the same stuff they tell everyone else. i know they do it for my benefit but feel like im being talked down to sometimes. i guess even more so because i studied child care for 2 years at gcse and am also now doing it in col. im 40weeks+4 so hopefully the little one will be along soon. thanks for the warning about the baby blues 3day thing! x

I think it is an age thing, I remember being totally talked down to when I was 19, I was even called a silly girl when I was crying in labour! Didn't happen this time though because I was a lot older.

Anyway will be any day now, how exciting!

Don't confuse the 3rd day baby blues with pnd though, the former really is temporary and can last 1 or 2 days, my ds was born in Dec and I remember crying when my mum rang because I'd burnt my toast twice and DH had bought the wrong sizedbread for the toaster!

Let us know how you get on and when your lo arrives, you'll get lots of support on here.

I did get warned about postnatal depression when I was pregnant but wasn't warned about baby blues. On day 3 I was an emotional wreck and couldn't stop crying. I felt like a bad mum and was in a complete panic. It wasn't til a midwife saw me crying and said is it day 3? oh it's just the blues it will pass. Next day I felt fine again. I wished someone had mentioned it to me. I Didn't suffer any depression after that.

Not all women get the baby blues either.

Just thought I should mention that the baby blues (I've never heard them called "3rd day baby blues" before) can happen at any time in the first week or so after birth. With DS the baby blues hit on the fourth/fifth day. With DD it was less than 24 hours after she was born.

Hope everything goes okay!

I think it's good that the hp's are mentioning Pnd to you tbh. I had no idea about it with my first (was 20) and the first I ever heard about it was at the 6 week check when the HV did a questionaire ( I totally lied).

I think I did have a touch of it with my first, and had a bad case of it after my second, by which time I was more clued up and asked for help.

I also agree with Mummytubb, the baby blues can hit any time in the first week, for me they hit pretty quickly. With my first they hit after 48 hours and lasted a couple of days (understandable as baby was in scbu, but released healthy after 48 hours).

With my second, about 24 hours after giving birth I just sobbed for hours, I have never sobbed like it, I couldn't breathe, I had nothing to cry about either.

But in both cases I just snapped out of it and was fine (for a few weeks, pnd kicked in later).

Baby blues can be pretty intense, but you may not even get them, I'm pretty sure there is no age correlation with pnd. It can happen to anyone regardless of circumstances.

youngmum, i wasnt warned was 20 when pg with ds. I wish i was though as i ended up having 'baby blues' towards the end of my pregnancy. I didnt want him, knew i wouldnt bond with him etc. It took me untill ds was 5weeks old before i was diagnosed with pnd by which time i had turned 21. When my son was born i was so pleased all my christmases had came at once but it didnt take long till i couldnt be in the same room as him. Had a go at his dad for 'forcing me to bf'. Thought i was fine when he was 9 weeks old then terrified i was going to lose him especially as i had just started ot really love him. It upsets me to say that now as i wouldnt change him. It can take a while to get over, took me a year that included 2 diagnoses from different doctors with months inbetween, AD councillors and chats with HV. IMVHO i think it should be discussed with first time mums/mums that havent had pnd before so they know what to look out for.

I agree shelleylou, I thought that if I admitted anything to my HV with my first, that social services would be called and my dd would be removed. Obviously I was paranoid at the time, I had no idea that PND could include doubts about wanting dc, extreme paranoia etc.

Any kind of education is a good thing, it's easy to feel like a big freak for having doubts etc, when it is totally normal. If you know that pnd is something lots of people go through and have access to support it is much easier.

Youngmum

Well done for posting, and congrats.

It is an absolute roller coaster of emotions - up, down, sideways and around. The baby blues are common, so is feeling completely overwhelmed and unready for it, so is being terrified of the slightest mistake.

It's ok to feel like this, and to feel like you hate the bump because it won't stop crying, and to cry yourself because you burnt the toast. Just be ready for it.

It gets good really quickly, and then it becomes wonderful. Your first baby smile is only about 8 weeks away!

Having a baby is the most profound experience.

And I'm a bloke btw - I don't even know what DW would say!

thanks havalina i thought exactly the sme with SS even though they arent always as bad as wed think. triathlte i think its nice to hear it from a males POV as it does effect them too with regards to dw/dp

Oh God you're probably in labour right now! I went over due too but I think it's common especially with first babies.

I sadly got no advice on pnd or even the baby blues. Thankfully one of my friends had a baby the year before so warned me. I found that my baby blues lasted for about 2 and half weeks. I thought I was going mad but it gets better quick. Don't expect to love bump straight away. You may be lucky and fall head ove heels in love in an instant but it didn't happen with me. I felt confused and guilty for not feeling how I thought I would. I came eventually though and it's amazing. Be prepared to feel like crap for a bit but it's worth it! Good luck!

Hi Youngmum, please remember that is a good thing to be aware about the possibility of PND but this doesnot_ mean you will suffer from it, some of these posts are full of doom and gloom!

Also should point out that the baby blues don't necessarily just disappear after days. I think mine were worst from day 7 to day 21 and TBH was a bit of a wreck for the first couple of months. Not PND, just being overwhelmed and feeling rather anxious.
With ds (my second) was much more text book - day 3 - 5 and then felt fine.

i had half an hour of blues when ds was 5 days old
some friends came to visit (she wants kids, he doesn't), and as i watched my friend cuddling DS, i suddenlt thought, from nowhere "you'll never have your own kids....you'll never know what it's like to hold your own", and feeling such sadness for her
i lay on the sofa and cried quietly for a little bit, then thought....."ooooh....i hope this doesn't last too long"
and it didn't, that was it
waffling here!
the point i'm making is that the hormonal blues swoop in very noticeably, an seem to be set off by random things (like a previous poster's burnt toast)
from what i can gather, PND is much more subtle, and you might not feel the "swoop"
anyway....all this will be irrelevant, as you'll be just fine
do let us know when DC arrives!
congrats

I am on the other side of the argument,...I was 34 when I had my DD and felt I was expected to cope well as I was older, I actually had pretty bad PND but it was never mentioned to me and I got no support whatsoever!! So I think you should be glad that people are looking out for you