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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want things to start on time??!!!

50 replies

Gifgirl · 20/10/2023 19:36

Second time I've been to the theatre in the past two weeks. The last show started 8 minutes late and I'm currently sat here now waiting for this show to start which should have been 7.30 - it's now 7.34 and no sign of the show starting. My phone was off but I've switched it back on out of boredom.

None of my meetings have started on time this week due to people being late and my church services habitually start late due to people not coming on time.

Am I the arsehole for wanting people to arrive places ON BLOODY TIME???!!!!

It's rude, innit?!

OP posts:

Original poster

Gifgirl · 21/10/2023 00:14

Pollyannamex · 20/10/2023 21:36

Wow I like time keeping but you are easily stressed!

I would imagine that the bad weather has delayed people arriving and the theatre is monitoring how many people are still to arrive and delaying the start so that they don’t miss it, and so that they don’t have to be interrupted by latecomers opening the doors. I’m sure the performers and crew are frustrated about starting too, but needs must sometimes.

There is no bad weather in West London...

OP posts:

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 21/10/2023 00:21

I don't like that either OP but I don't think 7 mins late in a theatre would get me riled, that's a little extreme.

smilesup · 21/10/2023 00:24

Life is short. Don't let petty shit wind you up. I'm never late but don't mind having occasionally to be a bit relaxed about somethings.

user1497207191 · 21/10/2023 00:25

YANBU. I plan things like public transport home afterwards or number of hours on a car park, so things starting late meds up my plans which may mean Ihave to leave early and miss the end. Very unprofessional.

Original poster

Gifgirl · 21/10/2023 08:47

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 21/10/2023 00:21

I don't like that either OP but I don't think 7 mins late in a theatre would get me riled, that's a little extreme.

It wasn't just one show though, was it. I was pointing out that it was the 2nd time in as many weeks and it has felt in recent times that timing is just not important to people.

OP posts:

TastingSinister · 21/10/2023 09:39

I've paid £21 for this ticket. I can't afford £21

@Gifgirl what does this even mean?

If you can't afford it then don't go.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 21/10/2023 09:48

I'm very keen on punctuality, but I can't imagine getting worked up at a delay of 4 or 7 minutes when sitting in a comfortable, pleasant location. The idea that an adult would not only be bored enough after 4 minutes to have to resort to switching their phone back on, but would also blame that on the apparently intolerable brief delay (rather than their own inability to just sit for a few minutes without entertainment) seems pretty ridiculous tbh. I'd be sitting looking around the theatre, doing a bit of people-watching or looking at the programme.

DRS1970 · 21/10/2023 10:18

I used to cringe when people just casually strolled into meetings 10 minutes late. Then proceed to get a drink a drink and make themselves at home without an apology, or a care in the world. Then the host reinforces that behaviour by providing a recap of what that person has missed. It makes my blood boil, so you are not alone.

Salacia · 21/10/2023 10:22

Unless it’s a technical delay (which in my experience there’s normally an announcement to the effect) shows normally start late because of the audience turning up late/dithering in the foyer etc. Most people would rather that we start 5
minutes late to a settled audience rather than on time and perform over people coming in.

squashyhat · 21/10/2023 10:24

What annoys me is the advertised start times for films. You waste at least 30 minutes watching crap adverts and 'coming soon' before getting to see what you have actually paid for. Mind you I tried to call their bluff for the last Bond film, it 'started' well before the opening credits and it took me ages to work out what the hell was going on

Alwayswonderedwhy · 21/10/2023 10:27

I like things to run on time but don't think I'd even notice 5 or 10 mins at the theater. Surely you'd just chat to whoever you're with.

AndStand · 21/10/2023 10:32

I also like things to run on time, and I'm always punctual.
But why have you bought a ticket you can't afford?

JamSandle · 21/10/2023 10:32

I cant stand it! I'm very punctual so I find lateness (especially without an explanation) very rude and disrespectful.

HelpMeGetThrough · 21/10/2023 10:36

I've paid £21 for this ticket. I can't afford £21.

Soo you can't afford it, but booked it.

Logic straight out of the book "Budgeting by Kwasi Kwarteng".

CesareBorgia · 21/10/2023 10:42

The 'we'll just give it five more minutes' when people haven't arrived for work meetings is annoying. If I were big and powerful at work, I'd insist meetings started on time.

user1497207191 · 21/10/2023 10:59

CesareBorgia · 21/10/2023 10:42

The 'we'll just give it five more minutes' when people haven't arrived for work meetings is annoying. If I were big and powerful at work, I'd insist meetings started on time.

My son’s uni did that in the careers mock group interviews. They were told in advance that it started at a specific time. A few random students turned up late and weren’t allowed in. Apparently part of the task was actually arriving on time so they failed it!

Thelittleweasel · 21/10/2023 11:05

@IglesiasPiggl

At work meetings and at the start time I used to say "as a courtesy to those who arrived on time could we please start"

Chamomileteaplease · 21/10/2023 11:11

Yes whether it's the theatre or work meetings, by starting late they are rewarding the late comers and punishing the people who made the effort to get there on time. Very unfair.

It also then becomes a vicious circle because people think oh they never start on time and then make no effort to get there on time.

melj1213 · 21/10/2023 11:22

Thelittleweasel · 21/10/2023 11:05

@IglesiasPiggl

At work meetings and at the start time I used to say "as a courtesy to those who arrived on time could we please start"

I do the same "The rest of us arrived on time so can we start please as I have other commitments after this meeting, John will just have to catch up when he arrives" and then when John does turn up "Thanks for joining us John, if you want to take a seat we are discussing XYZ. Sarah will give you a copy of the minutes at the end so you can see what you've missed. Anyway, as I was saying about XYZ ..."

If someone lets us know ahead of time that they're running late then I'm willing to wait even if it's a "Forgot my pass so had to go back to the car, I'll be there in 5 mins," at 9.59 for a 10am meeting then I'm happy to wait (though annoyed at their disorganisation) but if they say nothing and just turn up 5mins late then they will find that we are 4mins into the meeting at that point.

TurquoiseMermaid · 21/10/2023 12:21

It's been raining heavily in London, so that can affect things a lot.

Was it a press night by any chance? Those always go up late.

CatamaranViper · 21/10/2023 13:04

OP if you can't afford the theatre, why have you been twice in a couple of weeks?

I adore the theatre so I go when I can afford tickets.

lap90 · 21/10/2023 13:16

It's pretty common, from my experience, for shows to start a few minutes later than the advertised start time.

Between struggling to afford it and getting worked up about punctuality, i imagine your time and money would be better spent elsewhere.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 21/10/2023 13:17

A 45 minute gym class I attend regularly went through a phase of starting late, usually around 7 minutes, instead of starting at 5.10pm, they'd kick off at 5.17pm. I have to leave at 6pm and the instructor would be arsey if I left before the cool down. Start on time and I wouldn't have to! It's fair enough if something unavoidable causes it to start late, but not because Sandra is booked on and isn't here yet.

There seems to be a later is always better mentality. It doesn't work for people who turn up on time and have things to do after.

melj1213 · 21/10/2023 15:30

I am currently sitting in a theatre ... Show was supposed to start at 14:00, at 14:10 an announcement came over the PA to say they apologised but there had been a technical issue which would be resolved within the next 5 mins so please stay in your seats ... Cue half the audience getting up and then when the show was ready 4 mins later they then had to wait another 2/3 mins for everyone to get back in their seats, extending the delay. 🙄

kopitiamgal · 21/10/2023 15:38

CesareBorgia · 21/10/2023 10:42

The 'we'll just give it five more minutes' when people haven't arrived for work meetings is annoying. If I were big and powerful at work, I'd insist meetings started on time.

IMO waiting 5 minutes is fair enough. If people are in back-to-back meetings the previous one might have overrun, or they joined on time but have connection issues, moving between different rooms, etc. Usually I go by attendance, if most people are there I'll start and others can catch-up, otherwise I wait.
But to the OP YANBU, I hate planned things not starting on time!

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