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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Poll. Did you stick to the high street or switch to out of town?

161 replies

IncompleteSenten · 20/10/2023 08:52

Not a taat but inspired by. Purely because I'm curious and polls make posters honest 😁

High streets are ghost towns now. When the alternatives that led to this happening first sprung up did you

YABU - I stuck to the high street 80%-100% of the time until the shops all closed and I had absolutely no alternative.

YANBU - I switched to the big supermarkets and the retail parks and home delivery etc 80% - 100% of the time

If you are too young to have had the choice please don't vote 😁

OP posts:
Mummy08m · 20/10/2023 15:59

Needmorelego · 20/10/2023 15:54

@Mummy08m that's sort of how the old department stores like Selfridges were in ye olden days.
In department stores the clothes were made to measure for an individual customer. A model would pose wearing the outfit and then the customer would be measured up and it would be made for them and then delivered home.
Only from about the 1920s or so was stock made in bulk and sold ready to wear (this was because people like Gordon Selfridge realised that many women liked the idea of impulse buys and getting the latest fashions quickly).

Yes but I'm not talking about made to measure vs ready to wear. I'm talking about delivery vs trying on. It would still be cheap fast fashion that's ready to wear.

The ONLY advantage of high street clothing shops is trying things on or touching them before buying. The fact you can walk away with your purchases rather than having to wait a mere day is no advantage to the vast majority of buyers, if anything it's a chore to carry the bags.

So they need to maximise this advantage. Instead of constantly running out of stock in the medium sizes ("let's see, it says we have one at the Croydon branch if you go there?") and/or not even presenting certain ranges, such as tall, petite, maternity, except online.

Original poster
IncompleteSenten · 20/10/2023 16:04

Mummy08m · 20/10/2023 15:37

Maybe I read it wrong but you got all these comments saying the high street shops are useless and then you said you didn't want to hear about the high street now, you want to hear from people who are "old enough to remember" the real high street and to justify whether they "contributed to its survival". Perhaps patronising was the wrong word but I came to this thread with contributions not initially realising your beef.

In our capitalist society, if you offer want people want, in a convenient way and at a price they're willing to pay, you will make money and thrive.

Consumers are predictable. To use my example, when women get pregnant they need maternity clothes and they need to try them on because they are a new size and shape.

To use an example that I and others have given: most people are of medium-ish sizes with some larger and some smaller in a predictable distribution. Stock accordingly.

It's no use berating the consumer for not wanting what is available. You need to moan at the shops for not providing what the consumer wants and needs.

Show quote history

But that's not true though is it?

I didn't 'then' say it, after people's replies. It was the question in my original post and I just highlighted it.

The conversation has moved on as conversations do but it is incorrect that I changed the question after people responded.

I wasn't asking what you found patronising to be snarky btw. If you advance search me you'll read I have talked about the fact I'm autistic more than once. I genuinely can't see what was patronising but I am aware I don't always communicate how I intend to so I wanted to know so thank you.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 20/10/2023 16:04

@Mummy08m I agree your idea is brilliant.
I went to Primark today to get a basic plain hoodie. They has about a billion in size XS and S. I need XXL 😂
If I could have ordered one.... I would have.

Original poster
IncompleteSenten · 20/10/2023 16:05

Oh and at no point have I asked anyone to justify anything. I have reread my posts to make sure and I didn't, not once. In fact I said I was one who switched to the retail parks etc.

OP posts:
Mummy08m · 20/10/2023 16:13

Needmorelego · 20/10/2023 16:04

@Mummy08m I agree your idea is brilliant.
I went to Primark today to get a basic plain hoodie. They has about a billion in size XS and S. I need XXL 😂
If I could have ordered one.... I would have.

Yep that was my experience in primark too!

The only shops that operate like I'm describing are school uniform shops. There's one in my local high street. You take your kid and the kid tries the clothes on and then they get delivered.

The school uniform shop is always, always busy and thriving. It's the only shop on my local high street, other than a popular bakery, that ever has a queue outside it. Particularly in August but actually all year round.

As I say, providing a service that people predictably want and need.

Why didn't the likes of Arcadia pay attention?! It's no good blaming the consumer

Lovemusic82 · 20/10/2023 16:17

Most high streets here are dead, lots of empty shops or more cafes than shops. I have to go quite far to find good shops (nearest city), went to a City today with DD (small city) and it was quite busy but a lot of shops are empty, most people were there to eat or drink coffee.

I mainly shop online, tbh I hate shopping in shops now, hate busy places, hate never being able to find my size or clothes that I actually like. So much easier shopping from the comfort of my sofa.

YourNameGoesHere · 20/10/2023 16:18

Mummy08m · 20/10/2023 15:49

Here's an idea for the high street clothing shops.

Why not set up shops that are for trying clothes on, only. You go in there and try them on, then they order it to be delivered to you next-day. You can see the colours in person and feel the fabrics.

They'll never run out of stock in-store because no one can take anything out, they just try it on and that's it. They won't need much storage space as they'll just need a couple of each size for people to try on.

People rarely buy clothes they need the same day, so they won't mind it being delivered the following day. They'll also not have to carry any bags home. Win-win.

This is the kind of thing I mean about the high street not offering what people need. It's simple and obvious what we need, so just jolly well provide it, shops!

This is a bloody amazing idea!

Needmorelego · 20/10/2023 16:19

It was also ridiculously hot and stuffy in Primark today. A lot of shops seem to have switched their heating on..... it's not cold *😂
I can't browse if I have sweat dripping off me.

  • in London it's not cold.....
Needmorelego · 20/10/2023 16:20

There was meant to be a * on that last bit ^

Mummy08m · 20/10/2023 16:22

Needmorelego · 20/10/2023 16:19

It was also ridiculously hot and stuffy in Primark today. A lot of shops seem to have switched their heating on..... it's not cold *😂
I can't browse if I have sweat dripping off me.

  • in London it's not cold.....

Agreed. Also there aren't enough chairs anywhere. I remember in the past in big shops there'd be comfy chairs dotted around, for the husbands* to wait around in. Really helpful if you just need a brief sit down for any reason.

(Other shopping companions are available obvs)

kingkongs · 20/10/2023 16:42

A mixture.

I go to wherever the shops are that I want to use. I use our local high street regularly because it's walking distance but they're only small shops there. I go to the local retail park if I want M&S/Next/Boots etc (I do prefer trying clothes on) and I buy some stuff online.

Needmorelego · 20/10/2023 17:12

@Mummy08m I use a "granny" shopping trolley but mine broke. I was looking at new ones (ironically on Amazon....🙄) and they have one with a flip down seat attached. I am very tempted by it.

MumofSpud · 20/10/2023 17:36

My v local high street is now a ghost town with tumbleweed.
There are more closed shops than open ones.
There is still a Smiths (it has a PO in it) but isn't a proper Smiths as it has all clearance stuff.
There is a Boots but the top floor closed years ago.
Even one of the pound shops shut!
The giant Tesco's has also boarded up some sections.
Recently half the shopping centre has been closed to be redeveloped changed into flats.
Where people are supposed to shop....

My other local 'naice' high street has alot of independent shops as well as chains but even that has a lot of shops closing.

MrsMoastyToasty · 20/10/2023 17:51

It costs me £9 to travel into my nearest city (Bristol) because I drive an old diesel car which I can't afford to replace. Then there's parking at a minimum of £2.30 for the first hour and the actual cost of fuel.

To be honest I hardly ever go into the city since M&S closed their central Bristol store and Debenhams closed down. House of Fraser and Harvey Nicks are generally out of my price range.

I tend to go to a small retail park on the edge of Bristol, the local high street in my own town or The Mall at Cribbs Causeway.

SM4713 · 20/10/2023 18:01

If you advance search me you'll read I have talked about the fact I'm autistic more than once.

How would I advance search you? Is that to read your other threads? Sorry, I don't know how to do that, nor would I have the time nor inclination to check each and every, single persons other posts!

Original poster
IncompleteSenten · 20/10/2023 18:38

I think I felt I had to prove it. Which is daft when I think about it because I could have always been lying. 😂
Anyway, I was just explaining why I asked a clarifying question and saying that it was a genuine question not a snarky dig or trying to start a row or something.

OP posts:
AlviarinAesSedai · 20/10/2023 18:53

I use a mixture, small village and farm shop. High street and retail parks.
Online Etsy and sometimes Amazon, but not that often because don’t have prime.

Pleaseme · 20/10/2023 18:59

I once spent a whole day failing to buy the dc wellies in October. Some shops didn’t have the right sizes. Some didn’t have wellies in stock yet. Lots of buy them on the website from sales assistants.

I’ve never gone shopping in town again and just get stuff online. I live ages away (45 minutes) so it seems like a waste of petrol. Much more efficient for everything to be delivered to local corner store( still 15 minutes away but I pass it on the way to work).

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 20/10/2023 22:06

Voted YANBU, but my shopping habits don't entirely fit with your voting options. I never go to a big retail park. I buy my weekly grocery shop in person from Aldi and I do most of my other shopping online.

Britneyfan · 20/10/2023 22:21

@Mummy08m I love this idea, I’ve been thinking something similar myself for a while now!

I don’t drive but used to make the effort for take the bus to the local mall (which serves as our local high street really). But like others have said the clothes shops pretty much never have what I’m looking for, I’m a size 18-20 and although the shops I’m looking at do do that size they hardly ever have it in store and helpfully tell me I can order it online. When I want to try it on, see how the fabric feels etc. I’m also crap at returning stuff and I know it so I generally like to make sure I’m going to like something enough to keep it before buying it online. I could have ordered it online without leaving my house so it’s super frustrating when shop assistants say that like they’re being “helpful”.

Even when I went looking for my teenage son I got “oh yeah our age 10-14 boy range is all online only” from Next (a HUGE Next store coming down with girls clothes in those sizes I hasten to add). Sometimes it’s not size it’s “oh that dress you’re looking for that you liked the look of on our website is an online only range”.

I kind of agree with some sentiment that the high street has done this to themselves.

Fionaville · 22/10/2023 12:04

Small town, we've got the same high street we've always had (Co-op, pharmacy, butchers, bakers, greengrocer, off licence and a hardware store) So I still use it often, but go to big retail parks and online for most things. Whereas years ago, I'd go into the nearest big city.

PokeyLaFarge · 22/10/2023 12:07

I live in a small town

Its fine, if you want your hair done, or a curry, or to buy the type of gifty tat you can buy anywhere...not so good of you need food, clothes, housewares, books...

So I do 95% of my shopping online

tiglit · 22/10/2023 12:10

Mostly stick to out of town because they're easier to get to and free parking, ours also have the shops I want unlike our high street (we are a town though as opposed to a city).

StoatofDisarray · 22/10/2023 12:23

I shop local, but I am lucky to have good fresh food markets close by as well as metro versions of the supermarkets.

whiteroseredrose · 22/10/2023 12:34

I go to the Trafford Centre or out of town for the free parking.

I drive to a nearby town for a supermarket shop rather than the local equivalent because of not enough parking and the parking costs.

Back in the day I used to shop in central Manchester when parking was free after 1pm on a Saturday but that was years ago.

About 10 years ago the council started 2 hours free parking in our local village and it thrived. A couple of friends had shops there and it was great. But now the charges are back, a big car park has had flats built on it and shops are closing again. Very cycle friendly though.