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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or over-reacting?

21 replies

Seemslikethat · 19/10/2023 23:24

DS14 was in the kitchen this evening when we noticed a disturbance on the Ring doorbell. Two kids from his school were standing outside, in the dark, filming him as he made some food and commenting about him as they filmed. Looking on the video, this went on for around 10 minutes. They ran off when we went to the door.

Previously DS was bullied quite badly with kids making TikTok’s about him and uploading stuff online and I hate to think it’s starting up again. What would you do?

OP posts:
Coffeedrinker7 · 19/10/2023 23:26

Tell the school. Do you have a recording of it? They can identify them.

SBHon · 19/10/2023 23:29

So it was malicious? Did you hear what they were saying? If so I’d contact the school and the community police with the Ring footage. If it’s the same people as before it has to be some kind of harassment?

(And I’d shut the blinds/curtains if it was dark outside and light within.)

Aquamarine1029 · 19/10/2023 23:30

Do you know who these kids are? Who their parents are? If you do, I would be paying them a visit, and I would also report this to the school and police. Make it clear you will not tolerate this bullshit.

theduchessofspork · 19/10/2023 23:30

Contact the school and the police with the footage. That is harassment.

Original poster
Seemslikethat · 19/10/2023 23:32

Thank you. I’ve emailed the school and spoken to the local police who are coming out to see the footage. Just wondering if I’d been a bit over the top.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 19/10/2023 23:34

Seemslikethat · 19/10/2023 23:32

Thank you. I’ve emailed the school and spoken to the local police who are coming out to see the footage. Just wondering if I’d been a bit over the top.

Edited

Not at all over the top. Don't ever tolerate this type of harassment.

BarelyCoping123 · 19/10/2023 23:54

Your poor DS, hope he's ok. You're not overreacting at all. Do everything you can to protect him. (Also shut curtains/blinds!)

gossipgurl · 19/10/2023 23:56

Did you son not notice them there?

if he did, why didn’t he tell you or why didn’t he leave the room or close the blinds? Seems a bit sad if he just stood there and got filmed without his consent

gossipgurl · 19/10/2023 23:57

Maybe just one up them and post condensed ring footage on TikTok

Aquamarine1029 · 20/10/2023 00:04

Agree with pp, you definitely need to put up proper blinds. People should not be able to watch what you're doing in your home when it's dark outside.

HeatherMoores · 20/10/2023 00:51

How can they film you in your kitchen?

But no, not over the top reaction from you I hope they’re caught and punished. They are creepy and it’s harassment.

Fionaville · 20/10/2023 00:55

This makes me so sad. Your poor DS. Of course they are doing it maliciously. I'm a hot head, so I'd be tracking them to their homes and getting their parents to delete the videos in front of me and DH. So I don't think you've been OTT at all. I've seen some of the vicious things these teenagers put on social media. There's so many accounts on Insta called Uglies of 'town name' with hundreds of photos of school kids and comments under them, just ripping these poor kids to shreds. I can't even begin to imagine what it must to do their mental health.
Do whatever you need to do to protect your DS. Anything.

etmoietmoietmoi · 20/10/2023 01:06

Not overreacting in the slightest, I would have taken the same action. How distressing it must be for your son, and you.

Mothership4two · 20/10/2023 03:56

Sounds like you have done the right thing OP. I take it you had a talk to DS first? What did he say about them?

Olika · 20/10/2023 05:31

Good job for taking action.

Weedoormatnomore · 20/10/2023 06:07

Your poor DS as he has been lied in the past with them uploading to ticktock you have done the right thing hope the police came round to see you.

Outwiththenorm · 20/10/2023 06:21

gossipgurl · 19/10/2023 23:56

Did you son not notice them there?

if he did, why didn’t he tell you or why didn’t he leave the room or close the blinds? Seems a bit sad if he just stood there and got filmed without his consent

The family has video footage.
The family went to the door when son noticed the filming.
The video footage showed the kids had been filming for 10 minutes.

StoneWashJeansWithAMatchingJacket · 20/10/2023 06:47

You’re not being over the top at all, your poor son. And poor you, it’s horrible watching your child be bullied. I really hope police involvement scares them enough to never do this again, and the school do something about any bullying going on at school. No one should ever be harassed and your home should be your sanctuary. Honestly some people are absolutely vile.

stayathomer · 20/10/2023 06:50

Not ott, keep it up op and hopefully they go away

Original poster
Seemslikethat · 20/10/2023 06:51

He didn’t notice them. It was dark outside and he had the light on in the kitchen. It was only when DH noticed on the doorbell that we realised.

OP posts:
towriteyoumustlive · 20/10/2023 07:00

I would absolutely contact the police and the school. This is harassment/bullying and not acceptable.

You can't just go and record people in their own home!

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