Having a bit of a disagreement with the school. AIBU

[Blueystolemyinsanity]

in our school half way through year 5 and 6 it’s actively encouraged that we allow the children to gain some independence in walking home from school - I have no issue with this and it I want My daughter to feel confident by the time she gets to secondary school.
I would not say I was an over anxious parent as in my children have always been able to do things everyone else does.
the school is situated on a road and the gate leads directly to a zebras crossing, it’s a fairly busy road but speed limit is less than 35.
2 years ago they introduced school coats with logo but they are very dark blue and once the clocks change it will be dark when DD leaves school. I want her to be able to wear a brighter colour winter coat

AIBU ? Or have I some how shifted in to a lunatic anxious mum 🤣🙈

I would petition the school to get some kind of crossing guard at the zebra crossing if they don't allow the bright coat...

I run in the evenings in the dark and was getting quite frightened by how invisible I was. I looked online for a led harness and couldn’t find anything suitable. I ended up buying two led dog collars! They’re really bright, I just wear them like a belt clipped together. I also clip a bike light onto my jacket. You couldn’t miss me now.

I’m shocked that they have to wear school coats.

Instead of buying a brand new cost, I’d just buy a high viz pullover like the PPs Gav ex suggests.

I would actually ask the school if they can provide these, considering they chose a dark colour for the cost.

They’re not that expensive, especially when bought in bulk.

Makes me think of this OP. YANBU, just makes you think how many accidents could be avoided by kids being a bit more visible to drivers

You make a good point.

School, as per, is overstepping its bounds. Loco parentis ends at the school gate so put your dc in whatever you want.

The suggestion of a hi viz was totally brilliant! As a driver I hate the urban cycle during winter evenings.

A uniform that puts children's safety at risk is not reasonable.

You are quite right to be worried OP. I turned down an otherwise good school for this reason

This used to annoy me too. At secondary they had a talk about making sure they were visible and wearing a bright coat, the same school said all coats had to be black and the uniform was black. So wear black but make it a bright and visible black.

Are you sure they're expecting her to walk home when she has a late finish?

My Dd's secondary school had a school trip last week and the coach was due back at 17.15. The letter specifically said that due to the late return time, parents were expected to collect or arrange transport home.

this is the first time I've heard of a school mandating a school logo coat. What next, school logo shoes? underwear?

Make sure that your daughter absolutely knows how to use the zebra crossing safely ie not stepping fully onto the road until approaching traffic has stopped. A crossing supervisor is not going to still be on duty if she's doing an after school activity so wearing something bright will help. If the school coat is mandatory then it should have reflective strips stitched in

I had this argument for years with Dc's schools. Hi viz jackets not allowed. I gave them all white scarves. The trouble is the peer pressure not to wear them. As a driver I dread the dark rainy evenings and all the teenagers wandering into the road in their black coats. They don't realise they are vulnerable.

Presumably it's a private school. It's fairly common for them to have uniform coats even at primary age (and finish at 3.45 rather than 3.15!)

Anyway I wouldn't let her walk home after dark at that age, unless you can see the school from your house.

A flashing light is best for visibility, a bright coat isn't going to make much difference in the dark, you need reflective or some thing that is lit up. How about a hat with flashing lights in or a runners tabard?

Totally agree OP. Lashing rain and an after school club make for a dark 4pm. Am tempted to ignore this rule for senior school !

Just give her fluorescent vest or flashing armband or rucksack. Or hat with headtorch incorporated into it.

The school can say what they like, you can do what you think is best for your daughter. If I wanted to collect my year 5/6 child from school I would, it's none of the schools business. It's nice that they are trying to prepare them and suggesting this but that's as far as jt goes. If you want her to walk home alone then just make sure you and she are comfortable and she has any additional clothing she needs.

Is it a private school? I don't think state primaries are actually allowed to mandate uniform and it would be very rare for a mandatory coat

What does half way through 5 AND 6 mean? Y5 OR Y6? We aren't half way yet.

My DDs never walked home from primary as there was no-one home to meet them. I certainly wouldn't let her at the later time...in the dark when very few others were also walking.

Hang on, it’s a bit different her walking home from school when everyone finishes compared to walking home after after school clubs. I wouldn’t let her walk home at this later time if it was summer or winter- less parents around. 4:45 start of rush hour around here and the road get busy.

Primary uniform, to the best of my knowledge, isn't compulsory.

Especially coats.

Unless it's private of course

I wouldn't let a 9/10 year old walk home by themselves after dark. I think you need to collect on the days she finishes at 4.45. Different when it is still light and there are lots of parents and children walking a similar route.

A kids hi viz jacket, lots of kids that cycle in our local primary wear them.

YANBU! Walking home alone in winter at that age?! Absolutely not. Year 5 children are 9 years old - what is that madness? I’d rather my child was picked up safe than risk walking home alone to ‘gain independence’.

Might depend on where you live? I'm in central London and the thought of my children walking home alone in the dark terrifies me, but perhaps it's different in other parts of the country?

Raise it with PTA and school governors and ask local police community support officers to come to school and talk about road safety .
Every child gets a visibility band NINVVS 6 Reflective Straps, High-visibility Armbands, Elastic Wrist/Ankle Straps, Suitable for Running, Cycling, Early Morning or Night Activities Safety Equipment (Green, Black, Pink) https://amzn.eu/d/f6dYkmD

Doubt a y5/6 will want a high vis vest on them. A bright coat isn't much good in the dark either. Better off sticking/hanging some reflective things on her bag and those snapping bands.

This is true!