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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if those who love winter have very robust mental health or very happy lives?

917 replies

Comedycook · 19/10/2023 19:07

So I was thinking about this after reading a thread about weather. Lots of posters saying how they loved winter...some even said they love the dark evenings and what really surprised me was the poster who said they loved dark, cold mornings. I assumed everyone hated these!

Now I'm not in a terrible place mentally and I'm not depressed but I do find the dark, rainy, cold days do affect my mood. When the evenings are warm and light I feel so much happier.

I'm really interested in how others don't feel that the winter brings them down and actually enjoy it. Are they naturally happier, more positive type people?

OP posts:
Lokipokey1 · 19/10/2023 23:33

I’m not a particularly positive person, but I don’t like summer much. I feel uncomfortable in the clothes, over heating makes me feel sick, I struggle to sleep and always feel like I’m wasting the good weather hiding in doors feeling hot and sorry for myself. My winter wardrobe is comfier, the shoes are more supportive for my arthritic feet, I love drawing the curtains and curling up with my fairy lights, blanket and book. The evenings feel longer too so I feel less stressed by the surprise that it’s 10pm and I have done nothing because I didn’t realise it was that late. Winter food is nicer and easier too. Soup in the soup maker and stews in the slow cooker!

2023shady · 19/10/2023 23:33

I don't have horses now but that made seasons different too
Spring - bonkers horses
Summer - lovely. Then too hot and sick of flies Autumn - pleasant unless wet
Winter - ahh no more flies. Just mud. Wet. Can't ride as the ground is frozen. More wet mud. Wet horses, wet rugs. Mud fever. Constantly slightly damp and cold with frozen fingers and chilblains. Start wishing for spring... repeat!

Disturbia81 · 19/10/2023 23:36

I have a busy life.. still manage to be able to relax and enjoy my cosy room.

OP you are staying to sound like you are angry that people love what you hate. Why is it hurting you. Would the world be better if we were all miserable all winter? It's a long time.
You sound like a martyr if you are never able to relax on an evening.

IdaPolly · 19/10/2023 23:37

I wouldn't need an excuse to watch TV. I'd watch it if I wanted and go out if I wanted. No excuse needed.

Lokipokey1 · 19/10/2023 23:38

Oh also I hate rain in summer - it makes it humid so then I don’t want to wear a Mac as it’s too hot, but I look like a weirdo wandering around in the rain in summer dress and sandals.

GeorgeMichaelWasHere · 19/10/2023 23:39

I love winter and hate summer. I can’t cope in the heat. I have ME and fibromyalgia though which is why I can’t tolerate the hot weather. My mental health is not great. I’ve had anxiety and OCD for years.

I love breathing in cool, fresh air. And I like the cosy nights with candles and the fire on (well, the lights on it, not the actual heat on)😂 I have my bedroom window open all the time and snuggle in the warm duvet while feeling fresh air on my face.

Then I’m also a Christmas fan. So the run up exciting for me. My birthday is in January and we usually do something so I have that to look forward to, similarly in February for my husband’s birthday. I don’t mind spring but once it gets past about 20° I start to get really down.

IdaPolly · 19/10/2023 23:41

I don't understand the sniping at people who like winter. Should we all be depressed all winter instead?

Splishsplashsplooshsplosh · 19/10/2023 23:43

IdaPolly · Today 23:41

I don't understand the sniping at people who like winter. Should we all be depressed all winter instead?

Ha! Yes please. Then it won't just be me. 😁

Hentic · 19/10/2023 23:43

Oh I just LOVE autumn. I love curling one out on the sofa. Cosy. As long as I'm looking at it through a window. Or only outside briefly. And drinking mullered wine.

Hentic · 19/10/2023 23:48

My DBIL says he doesn't like autumn, or winter, because of his job. He's a roofer. You'd think he would be glad to be putting on roofs given that it's raining so much in such seasons. There's no pleasing some people.

nancypowers1983 · 19/10/2023 23:52

I'm interested in how some people can actively enjoy something that makes others so miserable?

@Comedycook I'm wondering why this is specific to winter though? For example, summer has made me miserable in the past due to a mixture of things- expectations from others, awful insects everywhere, unnecessary heat, crowds of people everywhere, noisy bbq's that drag on into parties in the wee small hours when I'm needing to be up early for work etc etc etc.... Yet people actively enjoy most of those things even though it makes me and many others miserable.
So it's horses for courses, some love winter and some don't. There's no big secret reason, just personal preference as with most things.

Chocochick · 19/10/2023 23:55

I used to like winter as a depressed, overweight teen as it gave me an excuse to dress in dark, baggy clothes, stay in and avoid the outside world.
It took me a long time to get healthier and happier, both physically and mentally but now that I am, I really dislike winter, especially the dark, grey, wet days. I don’t drive and cycle or walk everywhere so it feels pretty miserable to be outdoors in those conditions. Plus, I have two boys with bags of energy so being stuck in the house is my idea of hell!

nearlywinteragain · 20/10/2023 00:56

coxesorangepippin · 19/10/2023 19:08

I love winter it, however I do live abroad where there's tons of snow, lots of winter sports etc

This is now me after an adjustment period.

onthenightfeed · 20/10/2023 00:57

Comedycook · 19/10/2023 19:07

So I was thinking about this after reading a thread about weather. Lots of posters saying how they loved winter...some even said they love the dark evenings and what really surprised me was the poster who said they loved dark, cold mornings. I assumed everyone hated these!

Now I'm not in a terrible place mentally and I'm not depressed but I do find the dark, rainy, cold days do affect my mood. When the evenings are warm and light I feel so much happier.

I'm really interested in how others don't feel that the winter brings them down and actually enjoy it. Are they naturally happier, more positive type people?

I LOVE winter! Love the dark evenings as I love just getting cosy, lighting the fire lighting some candles, bundling up in nice thick blankets. Winter leading up to Christmas is the best as there's also all the beautiful twinkly lights outside to enjoy! But I still enjoy it past Christmas as I just really like layering up, cold brisk walks, coming home to a nice warm house.

Can't say I love the cold dark mornings so much ha! But now that I WFH they're definitely less miserable.

I guess this is all based on your home situation, where & how you live (can afford to live). Maybe it's quite indulgent to be talking about a warm house in the cost of living crisis as not everyone will have that :(

Catsmere · 20/10/2023 00:59

Lokipokey1 · 19/10/2023 23:33

I’m not a particularly positive person, but I don’t like summer much. I feel uncomfortable in the clothes, over heating makes me feel sick, I struggle to sleep and always feel like I’m wasting the good weather hiding in doors feeling hot and sorry for myself. My winter wardrobe is comfier, the shoes are more supportive for my arthritic feet, I love drawing the curtains and curling up with my fairy lights, blanket and book. The evenings feel longer too so I feel less stressed by the surprise that it’s 10pm and I have done nothing because I didn’t realise it was that late. Winter food is nicer and easier too. Soup in the soup maker and stews in the slow cooker!

Yes! I can't wear sandals, they blister my feet. I have always had to wear socks and shoes, and for the last ten years custom orthotics. Summer shoes or sandals don't offer any foot or ankle support. I also burn very easily and really dislike being greased up with sunscreen, so I have to wear long sleeves and trousers, both opaque. Plus there's the chafing that comes with being hot and sweaty - painful!

Give me winter any day if it's that or summer.

JMSA · 20/10/2023 01:21

A very interesting question, OP. I like winter for the build up to Christmas - and Christmas Day itself - but that's about it.

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/10/2023 01:24

Comedycook · 19/10/2023 22:22

I think running on a winter morning would be like torture for me!

Show quote history

And running in the heat, and particularly bright sun, is hell for me. Most big runs are in the spring, not summer.

mathanxiety · 20/10/2023 02:36

I love it, but I have a home that is nice and warm and also proper winter outerwear because I live in a place that can get polar blasts.

I also have low expectations of the possibilities where outdoor recreation is concerned. I tend not to get cabin fever.

JFT · 20/10/2023 02:53

YANBU but as someone who battles with quite serious M/H problems, I'm often relieved when the hot summer is over and the autumn comes. Various reasons.

I often feel very 'exposed' and body conscious in hot weather as my weight is bigger than I'd like and I feel uncomfortable in skimpy clothes and too hot in cover up clothes. Also I feel way more 'visible' than in the winter when it's darker and we're all covered.

Plus the summer often is filled with seeing families or huge groups of friends out and about doing sociable things and I live alone and don't have many friends, so it's hard to feel 'OK' by comparison, it triggers my loneliness.

In addition, in winter if it's cold windy and raining outside, it's the perfect excuse to self to not go outside and snuggle up indoors watching movies etc.

That is why I prefer cooler months (definitely Spring and Autumn) to Summer. But prefer Winter itself... hmm no I don't think so.

Overcooker · 20/10/2023 03:01

I don’t do well in the heat, at all. Where I am (Canada, if you’ll believe it) summer can mean months with little and no rain, just consecutive sunny days with temperatures regularly in the 30s and sometimes in the 40s. Need factor 50 to be in the sun for more than 20 minutes and even then I find it unpleasant if I’m not in the shade. The light and heat combined also have a negative effect on my sleep, which in turn has a negative effect on my day to day mental health. I also still love the snow and the general coziness of winter that others describe. Summer can F off.

Kat1981111 · 20/10/2023 03:09

I love winter lover. At least when we are cold we can wrap up love the cosy winter evenings. Its a very homely feel.

Catsmere · 20/10/2023 03:13

Overcooker · 20/10/2023 03:01

I don’t do well in the heat, at all. Where I am (Canada, if you’ll believe it) summer can mean months with little and no rain, just consecutive sunny days with temperatures regularly in the 30s and sometimes in the 40s. Need factor 50 to be in the sun for more than 20 minutes and even then I find it unpleasant if I’m not in the shade. The light and heat combined also have a negative effect on my sleep, which in turn has a negative effect on my day to day mental health. I also still love the snow and the general coziness of winter that others describe. Summer can F off.

Sounds like Canadian summers are as bad as Australian ones! Those are the sort of temperatures we get even in the coolest states.

givemeasunnyday · 20/10/2023 03:43

ThePoshUns · 19/10/2023 21:51

I think it's just us OP!

Show quote history

No, it's me as well. While I like the idea of winter clothes, in reality I love being able to leap out of bed and be dressed in a flash and out the door into the sunshine.

givemeasunnyday · 20/10/2023 03:45

mathanxiety · 20/10/2023 02:36

I love it, but I have a home that is nice and warm and also proper winter outerwear because I live in a place that can get polar blasts.

I also have low expectations of the possibilities where outdoor recreation is concerned. I tend not to get cabin fever.

Oh, I have to confess that I do love a polar blast - that's the best thing about winter where I live.

phoenixrosehere · 20/10/2023 04:06

nancypowers1983 · 19/10/2023 23:52

I'm interested in how some people can actively enjoy something that makes others so miserable?

@Comedycook I'm wondering why this is specific to winter though? For example, summer has made me miserable in the past due to a mixture of things- expectations from others, awful insects everywhere, unnecessary heat, crowds of people everywhere, noisy bbq's that drag on into parties in the wee small hours when I'm needing to be up early for work etc etc etc.... Yet people actively enjoy most of those things even though it makes me and many others miserable.
So it's horses for courses, some love winter and some don't. There's no big secret reason, just personal preference as with most things.

Agree. I don’t love Winter but I prefer it over summer because summer has always been more of an issue for me health-wise. Intense heat makes me physically ill and more prone to fainting due to my blood pressure being on the healthy yet lower end. If there are no clouds in the sky and the sun is on my skin on top of heat, my skin can feel like its burning. My mother breaks out in rashes if her skin is exposed to the sun for too long so she has a prescribed cream she has been taking for years and my sister has broken out in hives so there is a varied allergy/intolerance to the heat and sun for us.

Coldness does cause my hands to cramp (hypermobility in my hands) but it doesn’t get anywhere near as cold where I am in SE England that it did in my home country and I can obviously wear gloves. Much easier to me to manage cold than hot. I prefer Spring and Autumn anyway.