To live in daily expectation of uni disillusionment?

[CarrickBends]

I find it so hard to see my DCs disappointed, and am always expecting it. They just seem so optimistic, and upbeat and excited about things, and I always dread they will be let down somehow.

One started uni a few weeks ago, and still thinks its the best thing ever. I just worry every day that his bubble will be burst, he will get a low mark, he will get mugged, he will decide he hates his course, I just worry all the time.

I'm quite pessimistic myself, although generally quite contented with what I have got, and never disappointed, because I always take into account things might not be as good as I hope.

Not really sure what my AIBU is exactly! Just do other mothers feel the same, I guess

I get where you’re coming from, but no! Run with the positives, they will far outweigh the negatives.

There’s no point in worrying about things that haven’t yet happened. Failure is part of life, you just learn to deal with it and learn from it as it comes.

Any setbacks they experience from now on won’t be the first time they’ve been disappointed in their life, yet they are still optimistic about life, so they sound quite resilient to me!

Yes, I am a bit like you, worry a lot! Mine are second and third year now and you do get used to it!

I think my first child had such a terrible experience of uni that I quite scared. He set off so excited and positive, and the first 6 months were great, then lockdown hit and everything went to pot, locked in, no lectures, in fact there were never any lectures again - forced to do units he had no interest in because all practical units were abolished, no social life at all, in the end a load of drudgery and tedium, a massive debt and a poor quality degree, which is useless to him

Nothing can possibly go quite so wrong again, I am sure

And to his credit, he is doing well now

This may not ring true for you but I had some therapy a while ago when depressed and it turns out I equated being a worried mum with a caring mum. It came from having a mother with anxiety and I hadn't even realised it was the case for me.
The therapy helped and once I'd identified it as a not very helpful thought pattern I don't worry as much as I did. I still spiral sometimes but day to day I worry a lot less. But I still care for them and love them a lot.

This is really interesting and a great insight. My own mother equates worrying with caring and it's maddening, and also contributes to my own anxiety.