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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not bring back duty free for family

70 replies

rocknrollaa · 19/10/2023 17:30

I'm going on holiday soon. My relatives (who go abroad 2-3 times a year) have asked me to bring back duty free for them from the airport. I don't live near these relatives so it would just be in my house until I visit them at Christmas.

Had an argument which just resulted in me telling them I don't want to carry it around/ store it for the sake of them saving a few ££ on alcohol/ tobacco.

One of the relatives is a lifetime smoker and I don't want to fuel the habit because they have just been diagnosed with a health condition which is almost certainly a result of smoking, at least in part!

They are also well off and have more than enough money to buy these things at full price.

We had a big argument about it and they are telling me I'm being completely unreasonable. So am I?

OP posts:
Irregardless · 19/10/2023 18:35

VisionsOfSplendour · 19/10/2023 17:55

I didn't realize that bringing duty free back was still a thing, it's a bit 1970s isn't it. How much difference in price is it

I wouldn't be doing it either

This.

Universalsnail · 19/10/2023 18:35

Personally I think yabu.

A box of tobacco isn't going to take up much room and the duty free allowance isn't that large so it really wouldn't take up much room. It is significantly cheaper and would help them out and they aren't going to stop smoking unless they want to and so will buy it full price anyway. I can't really understand why anyone wouldn't help a family member or close friend out in this way tbh.

Universalsnail · 19/10/2023 18:36

I find it a bit depressing you think nipping into a shop for a family member when you have time to kill in an airport "an inconvenience"

Irregardless · 19/10/2023 18:37

coolkatt · 19/10/2023 18:25

i hate when someeone usually my dad asks me to do
this, i absolutely abhor smoking and anything to do with cigarettes and tobacco i can't even touch a packet the smell is just vile even the outer wrapper makes me gag and so the thought of them in my suitcase and next to my clothing and stuff just turns my stomach. and it's not just a pack they are asking it's like the max amount allowed which takes up space i could used to bring myself and kids things back so then i get well just open the packs and spread them out which is even worse eugh getting the ick just thinking about it, so no, i stopped doing it, made up excuses other folk had asked me and now everyone gets the message not to even think about asking

Same here. Yuk.

user14699084663 · 19/10/2023 18:41

Massive queue at security so you had to run straight to boarding (which has actually been my experience of last few holidays from BHX…
I wouldn’t be buying cigarettes either, booze or perfume etc I probably would.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 19/10/2023 18:42

JMSA · 19/10/2023 17:55

I would, because it's family. And who am I to make judgements based on someone else's health.

That's how I feel too. I neither drink nor smoke (for many years) but it's not my place to dictate and I'm not that sanctimonious.

I bought 400 superkings recently for family; apparently the saving to them was £100 or thereabouts. Definitely worth it for them.

MrsKwazai being in healthcare really isn't an indictment of good health. So many obese and or staff who smoke who don't warrant judgement either so no need for your high horse. Don't buy fags for other people as you wish but, live and let live without being so supercilious.

yogasaurus · 19/10/2023 18:45

Would never bring cigarettes back for anyone

BebbanburgIsMine · 19/10/2023 18:47

Not quite the same thing but I gave a friend a couple of hundred pounds on holiday, as she didn't have any left. I was more than a bit miffed when she spent it all on duty free cigarettes for her family!

I've never smoked and I absolutely detest it, I certainly wouldn't be giving anyone money to buy cigarettes, or even alcohol.

Cheek of it was she'd spent her money knowing that her family had asked her to bring back cigarettes!

GasPanic · 19/10/2023 18:52

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 19/10/2023 18:42

That's how I feel too. I neither drink nor smoke (for many years) but it's not my place to dictate and I'm not that sanctimonious.

I bought 400 superkings recently for family; apparently the saving to them was £100 or thereabouts. Definitely worth it for them.

MrsKwazai being in healthcare really isn't an indictment of good health. So many obese and or staff who smoke who don't warrant judgement either so no need for your high horse. Don't buy fags for other people as you wish but, live and let live without being so supercilious.

Show quote history

At some point you have to ask what is having regard for someone elses health and what is controlling behaviour and dictating how they live their life.

For example, if you take a fat relative to dinner is it OK to refuse them if they order a burger and chips ?

tanstaafl · 19/10/2023 19:07

OP, if for some reason you do end up doing it, get the money off them before you go.

Also I think you can buy in UK before the flight and pick it up on return.

Toenailz · 19/10/2023 19:08

You're being an arse, and you know it op, but you're being disingenuous to suggest it's because you will not support their health decisions. It's none of your business what decisions they make - their health is up to them. You're absolutely fully aware they're not going to stop smoking, so you picking up a carton of smokes makes zero difference to their willingness to give up a habit.

A carton of cigarettes takes up no weight or space really.

I'm not a fan of alcohol. So, I wouldn't use up duty free on alcohol, for me, personally. It's not really good for your health is it. I'd also be worried, similarly if I bought perfume, it'd actually spill in my case. Yet I'd still bring some back for a relative.

Their body, their choice. Your case your choice, but you are being difficult, because you disapprove of their choices, and it's pointless.

To the user who claims not be able to touch the outer cellophane packaging on packets of cigarrettes without gagging - give over. Never heard such wet lettuce shit in my life.

Yes, smoking is bad for the health, yes most disapprove. So what, it's not you smoking them is it.

Southwest12 · 19/10/2023 19:14

I buy my friend cigarettes at duty free. She's going to smoke whether I buy them or not and at least that way I save her money. It was £62 for 400 at the airport on the way home last month and they are about £10 a pack of 20 in the UK.

dementedpixie · 19/10/2023 19:18

If you were travelling alone then 400 cigarettes is above the limit of 200 that is allowed to be brought back into the UK tax free

Toddlerteaplease · 19/10/2023 19:19

I wouldn't buy tobacco either.

Banana1979 · 19/10/2023 19:20

I carried back two bottles of alcohol from the duty-free, and it was so heavy. Along with my suitcase, my handbag, and everything else I was holding It was just too much
tell them you can’t physically carry anything

amylou8 · 19/10/2023 19:20

I don't think it's big ask. The smokers going to smoke anyway, and quite frankly that's up to them. Rolling tobacco is pretty much 1/10th of the price from duty free. Of course if you don't want to then refuse.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 19/10/2023 19:23

I don't even bring back duty frees for myself. Who wants to lug bottles of booze on top of all their luggage?

DaphneMoo · 19/10/2023 19:28

I don't think it's a big ask. I bring back cigarettes for a colleague nevermind a relative, it's not very difficult, time consuming and if cigarettes heavy

MrsKwazi · 19/10/2023 19:29

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Who said working in healthcare is an indication of being in good health 🙄

Working in healthcare means I see the effects of smoking Every Single Day. More than you can imagine.

Flossflower · 19/10/2023 19:55

ChocolateCinderToffee · 19/10/2023 19:23

I don't even bring back duty frees for myself. Who wants to lug bottles of booze on top of all their luggage?

I totally agree. You don’t want extra packages when you are travelling. Nobody has ever asked me to bring back duty free for them. I am not friends with anyone who smokes.

IncomingTraffic · 19/10/2023 20:00

I don’t believe anyone claiming they can save loads of duty free booze. Last time I was in the airport I ascertained you could get it all much cheaper online.

I also wouldn’t buy tobacco for anyone. It’s not an industry I’m willing to support.

Your relatives are being ridiculous. (Also, yes, it feels like a request from 1986 rather than 2023).

dementedpixie · 19/10/2023 20:08

We never saw huge savings on alcohol either. We bring spirits back for ourselves but never cigarettes for anyone

IncomingTraffic · 19/10/2023 20:16

Maybe people who are saving the cost of their flight with duty free are getting those £5 Ryanair flights they sometimes do.

LeakyPipes · 19/10/2023 20:16

Yes, I think you're being pretty unreasonable. (I'm assuming they would pay for them.)

It's up to your relative, not you, whether they smoke or not. You wouldn't be fuelling the habit - you'd just be saving them a bit of money. The saving is a lot more than a few ££, btw.

So they can afford to pay full price? If that's your rationale for not helping them out then I think it's a pretty clear indication of how unreasonable you're being.

Ultimately, what is the issue? You don't need or want the allowance. Relatives you're close enough to visit at Christmas would like to take advantage of it. It would be no trouble to you. What on earth is the issue?

Flossflower · 19/10/2023 20:25

LeakyPipes · 19/10/2023 20:16

Yes, I think you're being pretty unreasonable. (I'm assuming they would pay for them.)

It's up to your relative, not you, whether they smoke or not. You wouldn't be fuelling the habit - you'd just be saving them a bit of money. The saving is a lot more than a few ££, btw.

So they can afford to pay full price? If that's your rationale for not helping them out then I think it's a pretty clear indication of how unreasonable you're being.

Ultimately, what is the issue? You don't need or want the allowance. Relatives you're close enough to visit at Christmas would like to take advantage of it. It would be no trouble to you. What on earth is the issue?

It is illegal to bring in duty free that is not for your personal use. Would you be happy if someone asked you to do something illegal?