Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can any mums help me out on how to prepare for this?

93 replies

Haop · 19/10/2023 17:28

Lone parent. Baby 13 months and will be in nursery Tuesday to Thursday. No family support in a practical sense. I’ve been told basically either me and/or DD will be ill for months.

What can I do to prepare? I’ve thought about always having second set of bedding ready and clean, lemsip, paracetamol stocked up etc.

Would you get DD the flu spray or whatever it is as a vaccine? I’ve had a flu jab.

I am worried I will lose my job and as ex is paying the grand total of 84 pounds a month I don’t know what we’d do if I’m not employed. We’d definitely lose our home.

OP posts:
WeeOrcadian · 19/10/2023 17:31

You'll be ill for months? I'm a bit lost, your OP doesn't make much sense

Are you claiming all benefits you're entitled to?

Original poster
Haop · 19/10/2023 17:34

@WeeOrcadian yep been told that they will pick up every illness going! Not entitled to benefits, already checked

OP posts:
Lovingitallnow · 19/10/2023 17:36

You might not be. Load up on vitamins for you both. See what the story is with work and wfh or flexible working so if you are off you might be able to make up the time. Personally I'd do a load of batch cooking so that if you're sick you still have decent meals and help you get back to health. Get a humidifier and saline spray.

cardibach · 19/10/2023 17:37

People make a big fuss about the bugs at nursery. Yes, children do get bugs from each other yes, sometimes you might also catch them. Yes, you’ll need to keep DD off if she is ill. You may have to use some annual leave (or unpaid leave) for this if she happens to be one who gets ill a lot. Many don’t though. My DD was a bit snotty but didn’t have much time off. I’m a teacher, so my immune system is like a Sherman tank and I didn’t catch bugs from her.
Try not to worry about it.

AuroraForever · 19/10/2023 17:37

They pick up every bug going when they go to nursery so there will most definitely be colds, random viruses and sickness bugs. All you can do is keep a stock of everything you’ve mentioned and add in lots of vitamin c, calpol, Vicks first defence, and just keep up with good hygiene. Is there anything like parental leave or dependants leave in your work contract? This would cover time off for illness although it’s not unlimited.

Faytella2020 · 19/10/2023 17:37

I had to keep Ds off nursery for a grand total of 3 days in 4 years. Never been so sick off him I can't work. It doesn't happen to everyone.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 19/10/2023 17:38

You DD may not necessarily pick up everything that's going. I was a single parent when DD was in nursery and worked full time. She was never ill! The kids around her would be dropping with all sorts... she never caught a thing! You might be lucky too 👍

WAC1 · 19/10/2023 17:38

We're a year in and only been called once to collect due to high temp. He was fine!

Jewelspun · 19/10/2023 17:39

I've never heard of this until after my children became adults.

My children were rarely unwell. My son especially.

The same for me.

happylittlesloth · 19/10/2023 17:39

Get all vaccines. Consider paying for chicken pox vaccine

bookish83 · 19/10/2023 17:40

Id try and stagger your nursery start if you can before your mat leave ends. Allows for settling in bugs as all kids get but im talking a cold!

Keep some annual leave spare too if you can

Didimum · 19/10/2023 17:40

What’s the nature of your job / contract, OP. Start there as it’s very very unlikely you can just ‘lose your job’

Midnightkittycat · 19/10/2023 17:42

Mine were at nursery from 6 months and rarely were ill enough that I had to take time off. Odd tummy upset, and a week off for chicken pox when ds1 was 4 years old.

Think it's a matter of luck.

LittleGlowingOblong · 19/10/2023 17:46

I agree with the suggestion to settle your child before going back to work, also make the most of the me-time to get your haircut, dentist, batch cook, Christmas shop, etc, etc.

I vaccinated my little one against chicken pox, glad I did.

Also, my child’s nursery would send my child home with even a very slight temperature (which is fair enough). But in your circumstances, when you’ve not much help, I’d forgive yourself a little white lie or two, and consider giving your little some calpol before nursery if they’re teething, and otherwise fit and well.

WeeOrcadian · 19/10/2023 17:47

With kindness, I think you're catastrophising here - nobody can tell you that you'll be ill for months - people like to regale anecdotes, that's all.

Maybe you will be poorly - maybe you won't

Take all the usual precautions and deal with things as they arise. And stop fretting.

RuthW · 19/10/2023 17:47

He os too young for the flu vaccine.

HAF1119 · 19/10/2023 17:53

Talk to work as and when it happens, can you WFH, can you catch up in naps and sleep time?

Otherwise there is parental leave which everyone has a legal entitlement to a set amount per year, keep your annual leave for illness provisions and discuss that with work in Advance (the fact you'd like to not book it then if child is sick use it - if they won't support that and allow annual leave for that use there is no point)

And to reassure you - during covid whilst mine was in childcare we lost 2.5 months due to child or setting sickness

Since covid we have lost a whole 4 days in 2 years. I still panic about using annual leave a little due to that period, but I think we all sometimes still talk like we were in that time when every cough was treated with being sent home and not attending etc. standard colds they can all attend now. Fever, D&V and the contagious illnesses they will be off

Nousernamesavaliable · 19/10/2023 17:53

I'll be completely honest...my DS started nursery in the September ( turnt 2 in august) and it felt like he was continously ill until June. He only attended 2 days a week but every month he missed a week due to whatever illness. Granted and I hate saying it but he was a covid baby so was very sheltered to common illnesses due to restrictions. His illnesses were common colds, D&V bug, chicken pox, HFM, tonsillitis etc. I felt like I could almost pre book his GP apt each month!
Things to remember though... nursery will not keep a child they deem to have a temperature ( even if they have the heating to the max and a child is layered up to be outside)
I was terrified I'd lose me job or be classed as unreliable but my job was really supportive... I took AL on days I was able too, carers leave and also made up hours on days when he was well and I could access childcare.
He turnt 3 this August and started preschool in September... we have just ended the first term with NO sick days!
I guess what I'm saying is whenever you send them ie baby or preschool they are mixing with others and need a chance to build immunity.
Good luck!

cptartapp · 19/10/2023 17:54

DD not eligible for flu spray. Too young.

snackprovidersupreme · 19/10/2023 18:02

Getting the chicken pox vaccine (privately) can be helpful to avoid time off - we had our son home for over a week with chicken pox.

Sick bugs are the worst ones to get because it's so easy to catch it yourself. I make sure we clean up any vomit etc with bleach and rubber gloves etc really carefully to avoid contact and to limit the risk of catching it too.

I found I could sometimes wfh when my son was unwell because he would sleep so much. Hopefully your work will be ok with a normal level of illness.

It may not be as bad as you think! And often they are ok for nursery with a cold and nursery sometimes will take calpol and give it to them during the day.

VisionsOfSplendour · 19/10/2023 18:05

I know everyone on here has permanently ill children at nursery but that's really not a certainly I could probably count the number of days I had to miss work on the fingers of one hand and I worked full time for some of the nursery years

Only partly joking when I say lower your cleaning standards, met your child get dirty and build up immunity

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 19/10/2023 18:08

Stock up on jellies and ice pops so if they are ill and don't feel like eating or drinking at least they are staying hydrated

Also get your child to eat as many different veg as possible and also kefir etc. There are so many studies about gut health and the effect on overall health now and it won't hurt either

Georgyporky · 19/10/2023 18:11

DS was in nursery from 6 weeks old when I returned to F/T work.

Apart from a few snotty days, he was fine & I never lost a day's work.

toomuchfaster · 19/10/2023 18:17

DD was in nursery 2 days a week from 9 months and missed about 4 days in total. Chicken pox was 2 of those, I would consider the vaccine if you can afford it, and one was for an allergy to face paints they put on her!!

webster1987 · 19/10/2023 18:26

My son has been off sick twice since he started nursery in March, less than I expected!