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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think of moving daughter school part way through the year

74 replies

Seaglass87 · 19/10/2023 13:41

I am in two minds and I don't really know what to do.
So when we applied for infant school we got our second choice, not first and went on the waiting list. I have now received an email offering her a place at our top choice.

My DD is in reception and the school she is at is good and I haven't had any problems yet. At parents evening the teacher said how well she was doing, how settled she was and how she's made some lovely friendships. DD seems really settled. She happily goes into school each morning and says she enjoys school. The teacher's are lovely.

However the school she has now been offered a placement at is outstanding
and I have a few friends whose children go there and they rave about the school.

I don't know what to do. I've tried to write a pros and cons list but it all seems so theoretical. Would it be unreasonable to move my DD when she is happy and settled because of the reputation of a school?

OP posts:
Bobbotgegrinch · 21/10/2023 10:36

Why on earth would you move a kid who's happy?

StillTryingtoBuy · 21/10/2023 10:42

We got a waiting list place for our child the day before reception started, at our preferred school. If the place had come up mid-term, I would 100% have moved her to our preferred school because I felt strongly that it was the best school for her, and for her younger sisters too. You are going to have a long relationship with the school so I might not be swayed by how settled she is a few weeks in and would just choose the school you think she will be happiest and do best at long term, and that works best for you and your family.

StillTryingtoBuy · 21/10/2023 10:43

For example, if the school she’s happy at has a lot of staff leaving mid-year due to leadership problems - she won’t be happy for long.

StillTryingtoBuy · 21/10/2023 10:43

Sorry, meant to be a reply to Bobbotgegrinch

SleepyHollowed84 · 21/10/2023 10:46

I wouldn’t move a child who is happy and settled. You have to consider the distinct possibility that she doesn’t settle or make friends in her new school. If you’re willing to face that eventuality if it comes for the sake of a better OFSTED rating, then go for it. But the grass isn’t always greener, and you won’t be able to move her back.

Why has a place become available in Reception at this other school? Has another child already left?

bluepurpleangel · 21/10/2023 11:25

I wouldn’t move her unless there are other clear advantages e.g. if the school is much closer to where you live. If not, and she’s otherwise happy and settled at her current school, I’d stick with it.

Original poster
Seaglass87 · 21/10/2023 22:44

Current school

Pros

  1. Happy and settled - attended the preschool attached so knows a lot of the kids already
  2. Head teacher is very visible
  3. Class is small (22 children) as they just expanded to have 2 classes in each year
  4. Much more multicultural which has a wealth of benefits
  5. Head is the old deputy head from a local outstanding school with a phenomenal reputation and been in post around 3 years
  6. I and DD like her teacher
  7. No known big problems with bullying

Cons

  1. Not rated as highly ofsted - good (2019)
  2. Not in as nice an area. It's not bad but the other area is much nicer (I know this is snobby)
  3. Slightly further from home and my work
  4. Easier to get into wrap around care to support my working pattern
  5. Not much focus on mental health/ emotional regulation which is important to me as DD has very big feelings
  6. One of the big things is that she's very different from most of the girls in her class. As a result she plays with the boys a lot which is absolutely fine, but I do wonder as she gets older if she wants female friends if she'll gel. I know it's very early days but I worry she won't find her tribe. I know I will probably get torn apart for this comment though as they're so young.

Other schools
Pros

  1. Outstanding ofsted - outstanding (2012) so I totally appreciate very out of date
  2. Closer to home and my work
  3. Lots of mental health/ emotional regulation focus
  4. Nicer area
  5. Excellent reputation
  6. Has friends there but in different years

Cons

  1. New head (old head left this year and has been replaced by the old deputy from DDs current school)
  2. DD would have to start again
  3. DD can struggle with transitions
  4. Have to sort whole new uniform
  5. Hard to get into wrap around care
  6. Full classes - 30 in each class
  7. Doesn't know anyone in her year group

Tbh I kind of think this answers my question.
Both schools feed into the same secondary school anyway.

I just have this fear that the grass may be greener and worry whatever decision I make will be wrong. But I don't have a crystal ball.

OP posts:
calmandcaffeinated · 22/10/2023 07:51

I live in an area which had two outstanding schools and two good schools. In the last 2 years they have ALL been rated as good. Honestly, any Ofsted rating before 2019 should be treated as inaccurate as a lot can change. I would argue that the reputation is likely linked to the rating, so I would proceed with caution for those reasons alone. I would look at the results of both schools to give a better comparison of academic achievement.

I would be more inclined to look at the fit for your DC and also what would be more practical for your needs (especially if both schools are similar on all other measures).

smileyI · 22/10/2023 08:33

From your list I would stick to where you are.
Our local primary school went from outstanding straight to inadequate so I wouldn’t pay any attention to an outstanding rating from that long ago personally.

Ifyoulikealotofchocolateonyourbiscuit · 22/10/2023 08:37

I would stay where she is. Why take any risks when she’s happy?

Ifyoulikealotofchocolateonyourbiscuit · 22/10/2023 08:38

Also - a 2012 rating means nothing. That’s 11 years ago. most of the kids are adults now

Everydayimhuffling · 22/10/2023 08:45

From your list I would stick with the one she's in. What do you mean that she's not like the other girls? That would be my only concern.

SaracensMavericks · 22/10/2023 09:26

The Ofsted wouldn't affect my decision at all - honestly an outstanding from 2012 is pretty meaningless. The only thing that would bother me from your list is her being different from the other girls in the class, as I do agree she's less likely to be playing with the boys in a couple of years.

AhBiscuits · 22/10/2023 09:34

Ofsted means precisely fuck all so remove that and then look at your lists to see which sounds better.

My kids go to an 'outstanding' school which has actually never had an ofstead inspection in the 12 years it's been open. True story.

whatapalavaaa · 22/10/2023 09:45

From your lists, I’d stay where you are. The 22 per class alone would convince me. You’re getting a private school class size minus the fees. The head and wraparound care also sound great. The one thing that could sway the decision is the feeder school for secondary, it comes around quicker than you think. As it’s the same one, no issue there.

If, in a few years, your dd is struggling with friendships and it’s a problem, you can move her then. I moved dc, for different reasons, in year 1 and 4 and it’s been fine, even though I catastrophised for months.

LovelyDaaling · 22/10/2023 09:50

Teachers were always changing when mine were at school. The ofsted report is based on the staff in situ on the days of the inspection. Two or three teachers moving on and the ofsted report could be entirely different.

Unless the first choice school has better facilities, more convenient location etc, I'd leave DD where she is.

KnickerlessParsons · 22/10/2023 09:55

The trouble with ofsted reports is they become out of date very quickly. All it takes is for the head or a few senior teachers to move on and everything can change from one term to another.
There's not much difference between outstanding and good really. If DD is happy, I'd leave her where she is.

Beezknees · 22/10/2023 10:00

I think moving a happy child to a different school just because ofsted have rating it outstanding is utterly daft to be honest.

All2Well · 22/10/2023 10:16

I'm a teacher and was the kid that was moved during the school year to a prestigious girls' indie and ended up miserable and bullied relentlessly.

Do not move your happy settled child. A happy settled start to reception is an absolute gift and sign of the right environment.

Some of the worst schools I've worked in were Outstanding in terms of OFSTED. My friend just moved her daughter to an entire new village to attend the one primary school in the area which was relying on an OFSTED Outstanding rating from 2011. OFSTED returned at the beginning of the year and they are now in special measures! Never trust an old rating. Be very cautious with a leadership change.

Keep her where she is.

Castleview6 · 22/10/2023 10:57

An OFSTED outstanding rating of 2012 is worthless. Most schools with this are going down to good (or lower). If this is the only reason you’re considering g moving your child, I’d take it off the list.

WillowCraft · 22/10/2023 12:01

Definitely wouldn't even consider the Ofsted rating, or the slightly nicer area or the fact that you have some friends with kids at the other school.

Potential future friendship problems also seem a bad reason. You don't know who will join or leave in the next few years or what the children are like in the other school. If there is a problem in future you can move at that point. Is it because all the girls are Muslims or Chinese or from a council estate or something like that? Otherwise I don't really know at such a young age how you could know that they are different - how well do you know all the other children at this early stage?

If it was much easier to get to the other one or the wraparound care was an essential difference that would be the kind of thing that would have a bearing but otherwise as long as child is happy I'd leave her where she is.

Small class size combined with teachers you like are really important.

Even though she's not been there long, if she doesn't like the other school it could be quite detrimental to move her.

P2210 · 22/10/2023 12:46

Are both the schools in your catchment area? Do you have any other younger children?

I think i’d be inclined to leave her where she is, class size being a big factor.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 22/10/2023 12:55

An Ofsted from 2012 and under a different HT is utterly meaningless.

Given your DD is happy and settled I wouldn’t move her. A new Ht can cause a lot of changes in a school and how staff react to them can change a school entirely.

NorthernSarcasticandDownrightFantastic · 22/10/2023 15:51

I've worked in schools and I've worked for ofsted. A lot of my close friends are ofsted inspectors.
We don't send our kids to the outstanding schools 🤐

Lolaandbehold · 22/10/2023 16:20

I moved a very happy child. Said happy child is still very happy, just at a better school.

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