Interviewer laughed at me

[Sooocold]

I’ve just come from an interview this morning and I thought it was going quite well until the second to last second. It threw me off and I thought it was quite a difficult one to answer but I tried my best and came up with an answer anyway. Whilst I was speaking they were writing my answers down and I saw one of the interviewers smirk and chuckle as to himself and then he looked at the other man who was sat next to him with a big smirk on his face and to get his reaction. it really put me off to be honest and I felt silly and humiliated after that.

I feel so down now because I pushed myself to go to this interview and I felt like I tried my best. I have anxiety and I felt proud that I’d gone but I’ve left feeling like an idiot

I go with the "something you said reflected something going on in the firm at the moment" theory.

In particular, you agree to something they support but the management don't.

Never had anyone laugh that I recall at interviews but over covid I had someone on Teams who was definitely bored (kept on sighing, looking away, barely engaging with me).

In one big 4 accountants, two women interviewed me, in person, one was definitely bored from her general demeanour towards me (sighing, looking up and down and around) and she looked at her phone a couple of times too, her colleague was totally the opposite. I was actually offered the job but turned it down as I thought from her attitudes that the first woman (whom I’d be working with/for) could be difficult, I mentioned it to the HR department who was coordinating the interviews and he tried to persuade me otherwise but I got a gut feeling. The first woman it seemed as if she’d interviewed people before but was just mightily bored with it.

In your case OP, yes bit unprofessional of them to do this but context is key and there was probably nothing meant by it.

One hundred percent, an interview is a two way thing, someone sitting poker face should not be permitted to interview.

the op says she felt overwhelmed and she suffers anxiety. So how she perceived the situation may have been heightened. It could be they just shared a quick smile/glance due to a shared thought and didn’t really even recognise it.

Sometimes how someone behaves and how someone else sees it can differ greatly, and when you add in nerves and anxiety there is much more room for error.

If you have anxiety you're probably reading way too much into it.

Most of my better interviews have had both me and the interviewers laughing. When I hire, I want someone I have rapport with so in interviews I try to build that rapport and this is how.

Coming at the end of the interview, I am guessing they absolutely loved you. Your last answer (to no doubt a difficult question) ticked their final box and so they could not help but smile at each other that they found The One.

Hang in there. It aint over yet. Best of luck and hope you get the offer.

Ah don't worry. I did what I thought was an awful interview for a promotion and I ended up getting accepted. I was nervous and stuttering over my words. I did get a bit better as the interview went on, but I honestly felt awful and thought ah well, put it down to experience, until I got an email saying I had passed it.

Someone once complained about me and a colleague laughing at him in an interview. We both completely genuinely thought that he was making a joke and we were laughing along politely. It hadn't even occurred to either of us that he was being serious.

He submitted a complaint to HR, stating that he had been ridiculed and that he didn't know why we had even bothered interviewing him as we clearly had no intention of employing him. Unfortunately for him, he had failed to listen to his voicemails before submitting the complaint, and he had therefore missed the fact that we had called to offer him the job!

The complaint was investigated and it wasn't upheld. He was obviously too embarrassed to take up the post though! In hindsight, I think we had a lucky escape!

The fact that they laughed might not have meant that they were laughing at you, OP. They might have thought that they were laughing with you? Or they might simply have been smiling because you said exactly what they wanted to hear? Don't automatically leap to the conclusion that they were ridiculing you.

Of course, if they were, it isn't the kind of place that you'd want to work in any case!!

Well done for going OP.

Try not to be too discouraged as they might even have been so impressed by the rest of your interview that it won't matter what they may have thought about that bit.

Either way, interviews can entail 'rejection' sometimes (which often just depends on what other candidates happen to apply.)

Keep going and you will find something if you want. xx

Thanks mum

This is a them problem, not a you problem. I am a trained selection interviewer and would never behave like this. My job is to help the candidate give the best version of themself during the interview. So being clear about the question, telling them which part of the selection criteria it refers to, repeating if necessary, helping them to stay focused. Giving non verbal cues such as nodding and smiling and so on. Your interviewers behaviour says much more about them than you. It really doesn’t matter why they behaved like this, they just shouldn’t have done. They sound very unprofessional. Either you get the job or you don’t (hopefully you do!), but please don’t dwell on this interview.

Op you did nothing wrong.

Interviews try to be oversmart and make the selection process so hard as to catch you lying or in expectation, they will find the perfect human machines. It's ok to not able to have a perfect answer and stumble.

The fact interviewer smirked and wanted a similar reaction from other interviewer says a lot about them. Seems like smirking one is bully and have no regards for person on the other side. Like you said you have anxiety, shame on such people in power for such arrogance and not see a candidate as a human.

Maybe they were thinking 'yeah thats happened to me too'

Interviews try to be oversmart and make the selection process so hard as to catch you lying or in expectation, they will find the perfect human machines.

I'm sorry you've had such bad experiences, but that's very far from my own as interviewee or -er. I make a point of saying as part of my 'welcome' spiel in the interviews I chair that there are no trick questions, this is an opportunity for the candidate to sell themselves.

Exactly this.

I’ve said some genuinely stupid things in interviews but been lucky enough to have good interviewers who never made me feel silly or uncomfortable. It’s definitely a problem with them, not you and better a toxic interview than a toxic job!

Yep this is exactly what first came to my mind - though it would have been nice for them to explain that to the interviewee for sure!

I've definitely both laughed at (as interviewer) and been laughed at (as interviewee) for this exact reason - especially things like 'biggest challenges in your job' sort of questions where the answer is 'dealing with useless colleagues' or 'too many layers of management' or whatever (put more tactfully of course!!).

Or it could be you gave the same answer as everyone else. Or that they were hoping for a particular answer and FINALLY after 5 previous idiots, you gave it.

All sorts of reasons - very likely not negative, I promise!

(not for a job interview but I remember at uni I basically didn't go to lectures for a whole term and got summoned to a meeting, I was absolutely terrified. The tutor looked at some paper and laughed fairly hysterically for quite a while, I honestly didn't know what was going on and felt awful, I thought I was about to be chucked out. He didn't want to say, but in a rare feat of self-belief I pressed him on it because I felt he was laughing at me and I was actually pretty angry. Turns out my marks were top of the class, which confirmed his suspicions all his efforts lecturing made bugger all difference!)

My nephew went to a job interview where one of the panel stood up after 5 minutes and said "I've heard all I need to know from this one" and actually walked out!

Nephew got the job. To this day he doesn't know if it was in spite of or because of that guy.

Never give up!

My guess is it was a hot topic/in joke for them.

This is exactly what I was going to say. It's very unlikely to be about you.

I was once in a large meeting where the candidates had to present and amongst other stuff answer a particular question.
Candidate 1 gave a fair but common answer - say like the answer was I'd build a fence and lock the gate.
Candidate 2 began by saying 'I know everyone always says I'd build a fence and lock the gate, but I would...

a number of people started laughing - they weren't laughing at no 2 at all, they were laughing because No. 1 immediately before had said exactly the same thing that 2 was identifying as a trope answer. Of course in an interview, you can't stop and explain why you are laughing and here you couldn't anyway because it would be revelaing info about no.1's interview.

Just one example of something that may not be about you at all.

Interviews can take a lot of energy out of you anyway without playing things back over in your mind. It's done now, they were unprofessional to laugh but on the bright side maybe the question that threw you is something to think about for the next one.

As an aside, I've had someone laugh when I turned up to an interview in a suit. I didn't do that again.

Last interview I did was for an internal promotion so I was being interviewed by technically my line managers, but in reality - just my colleagues as we're not very hierarchical in my team as a general rule.

We all almost ended up nearly dying from trying not to laugh as I was giving lovely extended answers to questions, and getting the absolute stink eye from the poor colleague stuck trying to frantically write down my entire response!

I did get the job - she was complaining her hand hurt for days afterwards though.

They could have been laughing because you said something that they’d just been talking about, maybe even a solution to a problem and a good answer.

They could have been laughing because they had accidentally started a silly game where every candidate had had the exact same answer and you said the same thing and they chuckled but not in a mean way.

They could have been laughing because you were rambling. Maybe if it happens again just take charge and be like, gosh sorry that was a bit rambley wasn’t it! Get in on the joke rather than trying to ignore the laugh and taking it personally.

Not saying you’d want to be self depreciating for every answer but sometimes it’s ok to “break the 4th wall” and build a bit of a rapport in an interview. You don’t have to be a question answering robot and can chuckle at yourself or point out that you realise you’ve strayed a bit from the question. It will just make you seem self aware and personable.

They don’t know anything about you, so you don’t need to feel bad that they’ve chuckled at a long and rambley answer as it has no bearing on your character, it was just a poor reaction to one interview question so don’t take it to heart.

And if they were laughing in a mean way then they’re frankly assholes, you don’t need to allow them to impact your self esteem. Fuck em, you’re much better off not working with them!

I got an open snork and laugh from an interviewer once.

I'd been asked how well I handle stressful situations and I had started by explaining what a dreadful year I had been having - impending redundancy (which was why I was job hunting), father in law died and then my cat had died - intending to continue by talking about what I had done to cope with it all. But before I could continue I got the "snort, gaffaw" from the person who didn't know me. The other interviewer, who knew me well, turned and said "no it's true, her cat did die recently". Obviously she thought I was joking and reacted badly but had the grace to apologise. But even that throws one off a bit - not sure I made my point well as I didn't get the job offer (but went on to get something preferably so that's just fine.)

I got my first job with my current employer (at least partly) because I made the panel laugh at the interview!

I went for a job interview once and nearly every time I spoke the lady was whispering and smirking to the other men on the panel. It was awful. I felt belittled and it was so off putting!

I got the job and soon found out that she wasn't liked very much at that organisation at all. One of the men even apologised for her behaviour in the interview and said it was my reaction to her and how I kept going which made him like me and want to offer me the job. The lady quit soon after - and I have since been promoted to her position!

You never know, it might work in your favour! Just because one guy on that panel sounds like an idiot, it doesn't mean they all are.

Well, the OP knows that, but it isn't stopping them from feeling low and humiliated.

Have you got any more nuggets of advice?