To say I am not doing great

[cadburyegg]

Single mum. Going through a divorce. Really struggling and finding life hard. People say, "you're doing great". I see memes "mums you're doing a great job!" Well I am not doing great. I shouted at my kids too much tonight. I find mess so overwhelming. I struggle to get things like the kids homework done because I can't fit everything in. The buck stops with me. My ex didn't show up to parents evening. It doesn't matter for him.

Everything is hugely stressful. I feel like I don't have time for anything. I have gained 2 stone in a year. I can't fit exercise in and I eat mainly processed crap. I feel like my head is going to explode from everything I have to remember. My mortgage has doubled since I had to go onto SVR whilst going through process of taking ex's name off the mortgage. Getting the kids to do ANYTHING is a huge battle. Put shoes on, get coat on, tidy up, read, homework. My eldest flips out if anything deviates from the normal routine. He is so creative which is great but SO messy with it. Feel like all my kids will remember is me being stressed and shouty 😩

Bless you. What your friends are saying is, under the circumstances that is great.

sometimes life is crap, and getting through it without injury is a win.

you can know it isn’t good enough, you can know it’s not as good as it needs to be, but it is enough and it’s the best you can manage at the moment.

sometime you just have to accept the least bad option.

im sorry.

Absolutely me except without the husband/ divorce. Single parent. Shouted this eve. It’s horrible. Upset the children. Feel overwhelmed totally swamped with work and insecurities. I want everything to be nice for the children. Instead I’m horrible because I’m so stressed.
so I’m no help to you but I definitely empathise.
im going to read my sons bedtime story and help him with his teeth so at least I can end the day better for him.
just remembered I’ve got the packed lunches to make. Sigh.

You are only human. 'Great' is relative. With that much going on you are doing quite well to have a house for your family to live in and food for them to eat.

How old are your kids? They are probably stressed too which can make behavior worse. If they are old enough (like upwards of about 7) you could try holding a family conference. Each say how you are feeling while the others listen. Then brainstorm things you could all do differently to take some of the pressure off. Agree what the priorities are and what things to let slide a bit.

You are holding yourself to an impossible standard. Cut yourself some slack before you burn out completely.

Well, I read that and thought she's doing bloody amazing. Don't be hard on yourself, you're superwoman and more.

Bloody hell you’re good.

Sounds like you are doing great to me. You're doing the very best you can in difficult circumstances, and that's amazing. Beating yourself up for feeling so stressed serves no one.
How old are the kids? Are they old enough to help out with some chores around the house? Could you have a chat with them about tidying away after themselves when they've done playing etc? I'm just thinking aloud, so ignore me if age or SN makes this impractical.
I do know that nothing lasts forever, and this horrible period will pass. Hugs for you OP.

You might not be feeling great. And FFS you have every reason. That's doesn't mean you aren't doing great, you showed up to parents' evening.

Keep showing up. Also, do let us know if you need a little, "fuck your ex" energy. We can do that.

Your kids will remember you were there, throughout the good, the bad and the ugly. As the saying goes “when you’re going through hell, keep going” x

Op- it really is fucking hard AND you are doing it. Even if you feel shredded at the end of each day you are doing it.
Choose self care carefully

It's extra hard atm to with things being new but it will settle. You will find a normal that will still involve shouting occasionally honestly but it gets better.

If it helps, OP, I though my kids would only remember me stressed and shouting. My eldest recently moved out - told me on his way out he was sorry for any of the stress he had caused me, that he knows how hard it must have been, and that he loves me just the same. It worked out OK, in other words. You don’t have to be perfect.

You're doing your best and it sounds pretty good to me. Cut yourself a bit of slack you're only human.
As for shouting at the kids....show me a Mum that doesn't 😉