To be gutted I didn’t get the job.

[Hellomylovelyy]

I had an interview for a role I was really interested in. I thought it had gone well and I got very good feedback afterwards and was told I had done really well and they were impressed that I mentioned a certain thing and was told I was the first one who had spoke about. I do have anxiety and I’ve worked so hard to over come and push myself to go to the interview. I prepared well too. I did get good feedback on the call and was told I have some good answers but they said it’s gone to somebody with more experience in a certain area. Apparently it was based on a points system. I just feel disheartened because this job would have been perfect and works around school hours. I had applied for a lot of jobs and they were the first to invite me to interview. I feel like I’m not capable anymore and my confidence has been dented again. Aibu to feel gutted? How do I get over this feeling?

Having been on the other side of this (i.e. the interviewer), you really shouldn't take this as a reflection on you. It's not uncommon to have more than one strong candidate and if there's only one position, it means having to say no to someone very good, unfortunately. You were unlucky that this time, the other candidate had the edge - but next time you might be the stronger of the two. It also sounds there's a good chance they'd give you a call if it doesn't work out or if they have another opportunity in future.

Kindly, you get over it by trying again.

This happened to me at the start of this year and it is genuinely an awful feeling, really knocked my confidence. But I allowed myself one day of feeling sorry for myself, one more day to pick myself up and then the next day I reflected honestly on what I could have done better.

I applied for another job in the same organisation at the same level and got that one.

So either there is something you can improve, in which case make some changes and try again, or there isn’t, in which case stick with what you did and try again.

On the positive side, you got some really good feedback. You were just unlucky someone else applied who had a bit more experience. Next time you might be the one with more experience. Sometimes it is just luck who you were up against.

Hope you feel better soon.

Job hunting is the most disheartening process and it's so easy to get down beat about it. Please don't give up hope, maybe this didn't work out as you were meant to be in a different job. Things do work out in the end. I really wouldn't think itsnanything personal tou probably did do really well but there's sometimes not much in it between you and another candidate. It's also really crap when you think it's perfect , I know that feeling, but you never know what it would be like if you were to get it. See it as a learning experience and look at where you could duplicate or improve for the next one. Good luck xx

You will find something even more better fitted

I had the same happen once.

4 months after I was rejected, they phoned me to offer the position to me as the person who scored higher who they initially hired was useless!

At the time of rejection I was gutted but I still wrote an email thanking them for their time and saying what a pleasure it was to meet them, what a great company they were, and that I understood how important it was to find the right candidate, etc etc. Accept it graciously and professionally, you'll stick in their minds!

So you never know.

I feel you! I've been on both sides and it's absolutely gut wrenching to not get a job you really want and that you felt you did well in. I remember in one role where I didn't get the job, I went I've rnyanseers in my head for weeks! But be kind to yourself. You probably did do great, but it's not always about you - lots of factors at play.

I've interviewed a lot now over the years, and it caaometimes happen where I really like a candidate and want to work with them, but they are edged over by another candidate in just one question (could be experience, or knowledge, or a specific skill etc). I recall sometimes being gutted when the panel agrees on someone else for those reasons. But we do have to be fair to all the candidates and to role too, especially in some fields (I work in adult social care) where finances are very limited and we are understaffed, so need a wide skill set and a lot of soft skills too). So honestly, don't take it personally. Ask for feedback (interviews like that) so you know what areas you could work on developing experience in. Best of luck!

It sounds like you did really well. Honestly, sometimes it's almost the flip of a coin that decides. Sometimes it's nothing you could have done, just that the other candidate was a friend of a friend of a colleague.... It's 50% luck and luck will fall your way one of these days. Just keep putting yourself forward.

It’s perfectly reasonable to feel disappointed and I’m sorry you didn’t get the outcome you wanted 💖

Allow yourself to wallow for a little while if you need to, but remember there will be other jobs and this wasn’t your one opportunity. Sounds like you did really well so try and reframe it as a win that you managed such a strong interview with great feedback in spite of your anxiety. It was also good experience to flex your interview muscle ready for your next one. Onward.

I feel your pain OP. I’ve just had a rejection this afternoon from a job I felt really excited about.

you win some, you lose some.

I’ve been on both sides of the table and honestly as a hiring manager myself, there have been occasions where I’ve genuinely had to flip a coin between the top two candidates as they scored neck and neck and I liked them both equally.

the fact that it’s a no this time just builds your experience for the next interview. Keep going and don’t let it put you off - they are probably being truthful in that they did like you and you did great - it just depends on who turns up on the day and who cuts the cream at interview.

keep your spirits up, the right job will come along soon! X