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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Another fairness/inheritance one, WWYD?

76 replies

PrintersCourt · 18/10/2023 16:02

X has 2 adult kids, 1 grandchild and a partner of 20 years. X dies leaving enough to pay for a funeral and around £5k leftover. They didnt make a formal will, just expressed that the 4 people above should be beneficiaries but not specifying amounts/split.

Kid A is the oldest, a single parent with their own home and a good job. The grandchild is theirs.

Kid B is younger, in a minimum wage job and they don't own any property or have kids.

Partner is retirement age without their own property, not entitled to anything officially as they didnt live with X.

What is a fair way to split the £5k? £2k each for the kids and £1k for the partner has been suggested plus a few hundred that's also left for the grandchild. Or should it be a 3 way split?

OP posts:

Paltrypam · 18/10/2023 16:04

rather depends on the relationship

ie one sibling who cared for her in her dying days versus on who hasn’t seen her for 15 years?

did the will not specific ratios? That is odd. The assumption will be 25% each

Newuser284 · 18/10/2023 16:05

Split it between the kids and partner.

The grandkids are not direct beneficiaries and it's down to their parent to gift money to them from their inheritance

RandomButtons · 18/10/2023 16:06

I’d be of the opinion all to the partner tbh. Such a small amount of money.

Redbushteaforme · 18/10/2023 16:08

I would say that it should be split four ways equally because X didn't specify anything about different amounts for different people.

mrsbyers · 18/10/2023 16:08

Split it three ways 2k to each child , it’s A’s decision whether to pass some on hers onto grandchild but B should not be penalised for being childless. The remaining £1k to the partner as presumably he helped to care for mother

Comedycook · 18/10/2023 16:09

I'd forget the grandchild to be honest. I think it complicates things...best to leave to kids and they can decide to give a share to the gc.

£5k... I'd be inclined to say £1.5k for each kid and £2k for partner.

Readytoplay · 18/10/2023 16:10

I would do Child A £2,500 (to account for GC)
child B and Partner £1,225
that way it’s equal and Xs gets what’s been asked for, but it’s hard to really comment without any other background information.

Iwasafool · 18/10/2023 16:12

If the deceased wanted it split 4 ways then divide it by 4, if she didn't specify anything else I would think that is the default.

I definitely wouldn't be leaving anyone out, horrible to ignore her wishes.

LolaSmiles · 18/10/2023 16:12

However it is split, the children should be treated the same. One child shouldn't receive less inheritance because they were child free at the point of their parent passing.

BoohooWoohoo · 18/10/2023 16:13

Children and partner get equal split.
The grandchild gets money from their parent.

Iwasafool · 18/10/2023 16:13

LolaSmiles · 18/10/2023 16:12

However it is split, the children should be treated the same. One child shouldn't receive less inheritance because they were child free at the point of their parent passing.

That's why you would split it 4 ways. £1,250 for each of the 4 people the deceased wanted to share it.

ShanghaiDiva · 18/10/2023 16:13

Is there a will or not？ does not have to be a formal document that has been drawn up by a solicitor but would need to signed and witnessed. If there is no document then spilt equally between living children as per intestacy rules.

SoupDragon · 18/10/2023 16:14

£1250 to each person.

Iwasafool · 18/10/2023 16:14

ShanghaiDiva · 18/10/2023 16:13

Nice, just ignore the known wishes of the deceased.

UpaladderwatchingTV · 18/10/2023 16:18

I think it should be £2k each for the kids and £1k for the partner. The grandchild should receive something from their parent, otherwise it's not fair on the child who doesn't have children yet.

Catza · 18/10/2023 16:20

4 people are beneficiaries so the sum should be divided by 4, surely. Why are you contemplating dividing it by 3 if the X stated they want 4 to benefit?

B12B12 · 18/10/2023 16:22

I’d just split it 3 ways. 4, if the grandchild is over 18.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 18/10/2023 16:24

ShanghaiDiva · 18/10/2023 16:13

Third sentence of the OP says They didnt make a formal will, just expressed that the 4 people above should be beneficiaries but not specifying amounts/split. So there is no will, but the deceased did say what was to happen to the money, and it sounds like the four people concerned, or the three adults if the grandchild is a minor, are all happy to accept that.

If A and B wanted to stand on their rights, they could ignore what X said and insist on a division by the intestacy laws, which would mean splitting the money between them, partner getting nothing and grandchild only benefiting if A spends the money on them or puts it aside for them to inherit. However, A and B are doing the decent thing and accepting that X wanted the partner to have a share, so the question is how much. By far the simplest thing is to split the money into four equal shares. That way, the two children are treated the same. The grandchild gets some money, either immediately if she/he is of age, or in trust for later, which is what the grandparent wanted. The partner is remembered on the same terms as the blood relatives.

Loopytiles · 18/10/2023 16:24

The economic circumstances of the potential recipients don’t seem relevant.

Splitting 4 ways seems most in line with the deceased person’s wishes.

Assume that legally as the deceased wasn’t married it’d be split 2 ways between the 2 adult DC.

ShanghaiDiva · 18/10/2023 16:25

that’s why it’s important to make a will. How do you resolve the situation if the partner said he ‘expressed ‘ to her that she should be the sole beneficiary？ which verbal statement should be accepted . The deceased’s children could give some of their share to the partner if they wished

OhComeOnFFS · 18/10/2023 16:27

The grandchild benefits because his parents benefit. I would say £2,000 to each of his children and £1,000 to his partner. It would be different if his partner was dependent on him financially.

LumpyPumpkin · 18/10/2023 16:28

Legally speaking, as deceased died without a will, it will be split between the children. If the deceased has previously indicated that they wanted it split between 4 people, you should assume they meant an equal split otherwise they surely would have specified.

I would divide equally in to 4 unless you have any evidence that suggests deceased wished otherwise.

£5000 is not an amount worth causing a family rift for so equal parts sounds best.

caringcarer · 18/10/2023 16:29

I'd give £1.7k to each of DC and her partner. Any left to DGC.

Ponderingwindow · 18/10/2023 16:34

Equal split between the two children. The grandchild is irrelevant, any inheritance to grandchild should be taken out of parent’s share.

if the deceased wanted the partner to share in finances, then presumably they would have taken steps to make arrangements. People specifically don’t move in and don’t merge finances in order to protect inheritance.

NotesApp · 18/10/2023 16:35

I’m assuming the legal recipients (the children) are the ones thinking about what to do with the money to reflect the wishes of the deceased.

I’d give small sums to the children and grandchild with the lion’s share going to the partner. Being newly bereaved and living alone for the first time can be difficult financially and the money may help them get through.

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