Hi, one of my friends, whom I've known for well over twenty years, is very awkward. She's not aggressive and is very polite but always wants her own way and contradicts me at times, but in a nice way if you know what I mean.
I do feel guilty being irritated with her because she lost her husband a year ago but the thing is she was like this before her husband became ill.
A few years before he became ill, she came to visit me at the flat I was living in then and spent the whole time criticising my decor and when I got out the plates and cutlery for our meal, which were clean, she washed them before I had chance to put the food out. I was quite passive then and didn't say anything.
Now I am on some different antidepressants which are making me feel stronger and more aware of what people are saying and doing to me so I do stand my ground more but I question if I should do this,
She doesn't work and hasn't done for a while, I work full time, yet the arrangements always have to suit her. The other week when I suggested changing a Sunday meeting to the week after because I will be working that Saturday and will be tired she told me that I only sit down in my job so why should I be tired? I did tell her that my job is very busy and tiring so she backed down then and said she knows from she worked in an office. I work on the front line and deal with people's issues so it's hardly a job where you have nothing to do.
Last Saturday was another example. She had been out already and rang me on her way back into the city centre asking if I would meet her for a coffee. I said I would, I was in the city centre myself having a coffee, I told her I had to go into a shop first and then would meet her. She rang me while I was at the check out saying she was there already, I told her I would be on my way and there in two minutes and then she said 'Let's leave it for today then'. I was quite put out as I had rushed to get to meet her so I told her I would be there soon so surely she could hang on which she agreed. When I got there she moaned that the cafe was too crowded and we ended up going somewhere she wanted. She then complained that it would take her an hour to get home on the bus. Another issue is that she always expects me to go to her end of town usually and I live at the other side of town, she doesn't think about me being on the bus for that long, plus having to get another bus from where I live, hence two buses.
She is a good friend and I feel sorry for her but I feel I am treading on eggshells all the time. Even in text messages she does it. Last night she messaged me to say she'd been shopping with a friend who didn't buy anything. This friend always tries loads of clothes on even if she doesn't buy any, so I just asked if she had been trying all the clothes on again in fun and my friend replied 'As I have said, she didn't buy anything'. I feel she is contradicting me all the time. I have mental health issues and find this difficult to cope with. Any views please?