Giving up a bus seat for the elderly

[Thepainisgettingworsenightnurse]

I'm in my early 30's with a hidden disability that makes it difficult for me to stand up on the bus for extended periods of time. I always opt for a 'regular' seat where I can but if there are none accessible I will take a priority seat if one is empty.

Do you think I should then give up my seat on a bus for an older person if they board?

Depends if you think you are more or less able to stand than they are.

No. Not if you're disabled and need the seat.

If you need the seat sit in it unless you think the other person is less able to stand than you are.

The priority seats are for those who are "less able to stand". Age is not a factor.

It's difficult because you might be more able to stand than A.N.Other who is currently standing, but less able to stand than B.N.Other who has a seat but has no intention of relinquishing it. Obviously the most fit and able people should be the ones to stand on the bus, but if they don't do that, it puts people who are less able in an awkward position if there's someone who is struggling even more than they would.

No easy answer - you'll have to trust your judgement based on how much the standee appears to be struggling and how long your journey is - you might choose to stand if you're getting off in a couple of stops anyway, for example.

I usually do it on a "case by case" basis. If someone is in a worse condition than me, I get up.

I’m 65 and recently had a knee replacement, have also had other serious health problems, but even this last week when back in Scotland I still stood to give people a seat on the bus if the needed it. Very few other people were inclined to do it and I left thinking that it wasn’t the done thing nowadays.

Of course I felt able to do it health wise but if you can’t then don’t feel you have to.

Of course not, why would you. It has nothing to do with age.

I wouldn't expect a 20 year old athlete who just had knee surgery to give his seat to someone in their 70s just because they look "old".

I had a similar debate here a few months back. I’d broken my shoulder 10 days before, was in pain, and struggled to manoeuvre a moving bus with one arm while simultaneously trying to stop my bad arm being injured further. I sat in a priority seat, someone sat beside me, and an elderly lady got on. I was unable to stand and felt bad, but the other lady gave up her seat.

I had a lot of support here but also a humongous amount of hatred and negativity because I wasn’t seen as being ‘disabled enough’ even though it was a priority seat as opposed to a disabled seat.

im 57, I offer seats when it’s clearly needed but I’m more than capable of deciding o need to look after myself.

if you need it, you need it!

I find it so awkward.

If I'm sitting in a priority seat and an older person gets on my first instinct is to get up and offer them my seat, I'm not just talking 80's I mean 60+ or thereabouts.

Since being old enough to stand I was taught to offer my seat to older people.

I've actually got off the bus on two occasions to wait for the next one when this has happened as there hasn't been another seat available for me and I couldn't stand on a packed bus.

In my experience people like me (when our disabilities are hidden) get frowned at, tutted at and moaned about for occupying those seats and no giving them up.

No. Its not always an age thing
some 70 year olds are more able to stand than some 30 year olds
I thought they called them priority seats now meaning anyone who has the need can use them.

Could you get one of those badges 'Please offer me a seat' which is specifically for hidden disabilities?

This is my way of doing it too. I'm long past youth, but reasonably fit and healthy but I've given up my seat to all ages - even young children when the parents looked frazzled because I know from experience that young children are much easier to control in a seat 😂

I got one of the badges after my broken arm (after I’d been slated here for not wanting to fall and make my injury worse🙄). If you’re in the TFL area you can get them from the website. Obviously I didn’t use it once my arm had healed enough to be more confident on public transport.

You get off the bus to offer your seat to a healthy looking 60-something and wait for the next one?? Sorry but I think that’s a really strange thing to do. Why on earth are you putting your needs below random strangers that haven’t even indicated they aren’t able to stand ie not wearing a badge, haven’t asked, aren’t even that old? You can’t stand so you don’t offer your seat to anyone. What you were ‘taught’ to do applied presumably when you were a healthy able bodied child/teen and it’s no longer relevant. If you feel self conscious order that TFL badge linked by PP. If someone else gets on the bus that also can’t stand then let someone else, someone who can stand, offer their seat instead.

You also need the seat and you got there first. It’s your seat. Their age doesn’t trump your disability. You’re both deserving of a seat just as much as each other, but if you’re there first then it’s hard luck they’ll have to either wait or someone able bodied can give up their seat.

I do understand the social conditioning aspect - many years ago, when I was in my 20s, I fractured my elbow and had to get the bus to the fracture clinic on one occasion.

On the way home, I sat in one of the accessible seats, because the bus was busy, I had my arm in a cast and sling and it wasn't safe for me to try to climb the stairs or stand.

An older lady (late 70s / early 80s, I think) got on and I tried to offer her my seat! She was lovely and told me (quite forcefully!) to sit back down, but I felt weirdly embarrassed about the whole thing.

Just get one of those badges they make for this reason.

Or don't give it up your seat as someone else will.

Or just say, I'm disabled and unable to stand. Could someone else give you a seat.

Doesn't have to be awkward or a drama.

I agree with PPs about getting the badge.

I also think 60s is too young to offer everyone over that age a seat - my mum is 67 and she would be mortified if you offered her a seat.

If they look less able than you and are struggling I would offer, otherwise you're fine.