Walking to school alone

[NortieTortie]

Just found out that my childrens' school's rules reg. walking to school alone is only allowed from year 6 and for the summer term only. This seems too late for me. They'll be walking to school and back in secondary school and I was hoping they'd get more than a few months practice at the school run. My niece's/nephew's school is from the summer term in year 5 and I think that's far more reasonable.

We live 0.1m away from school with one back road to cross, but it does get extremely busy during pick up/drop off. I'd be happy for them to do this from age 8 tbh.

AIBU?

You said ”The school’s choice is how to release child from their care at the end of the day“ which is not, as we’ve established, correct.

The school can have the choice of how they’d prefer to release children - which is not the same as having the choice of how to release children.

Which isn’t what was being discussed, but there’s always one

Walking to school sensibly is a bit like toilet training. They can learn very quickly, provided you wait until they are old enough. You don't need to practise years in advance, especially while you are small, maybe underconfident around adults and unable to identify and manage risk. Walking home alone as a small child would be unenjoyable and also dangerous.

Just wait until your child is in year 6, like the school says. They will be champing at the bit to feel grown up and will have some idea of how to gauge traffic speed. Within a few weeks, they should be ready and all set for secondary school.

I suspect another reason why schools discourage lone walking of small children is so that the mum does not feel obliged to give them a phone to take to school.

I remember vividly being walked to and from school and having the exclusive attention of my mum and dad and doing the same for my own kids. I don't know why people don't want to do it.

Children walk to and from school from Year 4 here. I leave for work at school run time and there are always groups of children walking to school together.

@CinnamonJellyBeans you seem to be confidently stating some sort of universal truth whereas in reality it’s completely dependent on the whims of the headteacher. Plenty of children go to and from school on their own from far earlier than year 6. My DS cycled to and from school independently from age 8. Our Swiss cousins are asked to stop accompanying their children to and from school from the age of 6 to build independence.

Is it a different age for walking home? I think walking to school and walking home from school are very different. I allowed mine to walk home much earlier than I allowed walking there as coming home, they are expected through the door at a certain time and I can investigate it immediately if they are late. Many schools don't phone until after 10am if your child hasn't arrived so they could have been missing for more than an hour before you even realise.

Mine walked from age 8 &10 together school weren't happy at first but accepted that I didn't get home until 3.40 (they got home at 3.50)

@BCCoach How is walking home independent?

There's a million other ways to make your child independent: cook, clean, laundry, earn money, choose your own clothes, buy your own gifts, write to your grandparents, research secondary schools, careers, do a menu plan

Why are we so keen to make our kids independent in a way that they cannot avoid or mitigate the harm that could come to a small child alone on the streets.

Is the lure of daytime TV so great?

This topic always makes me so sad.

I grew up in the UK, started primary school in 1984, was taken to school on my first morning and then expected to find my own way home, as was everyone else. By the mid 2000s when I was working as a school bus driver, this had changed completely. We had to bring the buses to the school minimum of 30 minutes before school finished because otherwise we literally couldn't get the bus down the road to the school because of the log jam of parents' cars.

Basically, in 2 decades, it suddenly went from being completely normal for children to walk to and from school to being considered insanely dangerous. In the 1980s, plenty of families still didn't have a car. By the 2000s, it seemed like the majority had at least 2.

I live in an EU country now. Most children walk or take the bus to school, without parents, from age 6 or 7. There was a 2nd grade parents' meeting at the start of this term where a policeman actually urged parents to allow their children to walk alone/with their friends from age 6. He accused parents who insist on escorting their children beyond first grade of being too lazy to teach their children proper life skills.

They don't need years of practice to walk home alone before going to secondary school. They really don't.

Summer term of Y6 is plenty of time, and also enforces them starting at a time of year when it is light and better weather in the evenings. If you live as close as you say, are there not friends who walk past your house/road who your children could officially walk with their grown up and be dropped off en route?

Our school would allow dc to walk home alone from start of Year 6. But tbh I was building independence from Yr 5, and mine would be walking in the local area to the park, leisure centre and library on their own. Just because the school has rules on their journey (and I know you can insist against it, but I prefer to work in partnership with school), doesn't mean you can't parent differently and build independence in other aspects of their lives.

Because walking alone gives such an immense feeling of independence to a child. I still remember distinctly the time my mum asked me to walk to the tennis club by myself to fetch my brother home - I felt on top of the world. Cooking and cleaning does not have the same impact!

And sometimes there's no other option, I couldn't walk my DD to school for a few months until I started maternity leave because I couldn't be in two places at once and there was no before school care at her school. Its very likely I won't be able to walk my son at all when he starts school though there's 3 girls a year older on our street so maybe he'll be walking with them.

Do they really need practice to walk to secondary?

Dd has just started secondary, she never walked to or from primary as it was a drive away. She now takes herself off to the bus stop each morning and back in the evening. It wasn't practiced she just did it on the first day of school. I think you'll find they take in more in the stride than you imagine.

Part of what bothers me is the over-use of cars. I know some parents walk with their children, but it seems like the majority who take their children to school drive them, thus creating a large part of what ironically makes schools into an unsafe environment for children walking alone. And, even more worryingly, sets up the next generation with the idea that private cars are the only way to get around.

That is terrible!!! We thankfully have a "school street" now so that stops the entitled dickheads parking on the zig zags / double yellows / middle of the road...!

It’s not actually up to the school, if you want to argue it.

My two walked on their own or with a friend from Y4/5 - ten minute walk, no roads to cross- and this was not very long ago. Then I wrote to school each term to give express permission for them to walk home. I don't see what the school could do about how they arrive at school tbh and they should stop overstepping.

Interested in why in England this sort of thing is most definitely up to the school and they have all sorts of different rules about when children can walk to school, and in Scotland, it's left up to the parents to decide and schools do not issue any such proclamations.

My kids walked alone from 9. We are in Ireland and I don't think there are any rules on it, no one told me if there were. Their primary was 5 mins walk away at the end of our cul de sac with no roads to cross. They were more than capable and I was more than capable to decide that they were old enough to do it.

Honestly, it’s ridiculous how late we think it is safe for kids to manage familiar journeys by themselves in this country.

Yup!

If all the children walked, like we did before parents drove everywhere, there would be more children walking together, less traffic congestion and more resilience.