Just annoyed. Or do I need to get over it!!

[Awonderfuldayinthepark]

I’ve made other post about my mother being…. Hard work let’s say!

I don’t know why I’m so annoyed at her general attitude (and I know many of you are going to sound spoilt/first world problems and all that, my husband does 😂)

It was my birthday last week (38) and my parents give each adult child £30 (lovely, very lucky not complaining at all, very thankful etc)

I said needed new perfume, that’s about £50 for the better value bottle so I said the £30 can towards that. And, well I’m not aloud the cash and quote “how do I know that’s what you are actually going to spend it on” “How can I trust you thats what you are going buy”

I even offered for her to come to the shop with me hand over the cash and I’ll pay the rest. No, not an option either.

It’s not to cost of the perfume as my mum has similarly priced ones.

I don’t have a history or wasting money and even if I did, I believe that if give someone birthday money and you don’t have a direct say in how they spend the money it, it’s a gift! (Unless it’s hundreds/thousands of ££ maybe to wards like a car/house)

I just can’t deal with the controlling attitude and I’m at a lost for words. The main point is why wouldn’t you trust your adult child with £30!!!
sorry rant over!

I would tell her to stick that birthday money where the sun doesn't shine. She sounds controlling, petty and overall just awful to be around. Let her enjoy your silence and absence for a while. When she reaches out to ask why she hasn't heard from you, then let her have it slowly, calmly and truthfully. She will lose her top for sure, but again let her do it and then enjoy the peace and quiet again.

Happy Birthday to you x

I don't understand. What is she proposing exactly? That you buy something worth exactly £30 so she can get it for you?

I found the post a little confusing but think you are being told you can’t spend the 30 part payment on a perfume bottle? But that you can have 30 pound cash?

Tell her to keep it. I couldn't be arsed with dealing with that shite.

You could just have given your mum the extra so she could buy the perfume, surely?

I get the distinct impression that the OP's mum isn't that reasonable.

I don't get it, if they give you £30 for your birthday you can buy what you like with it. is she now saying you can't have the £30 unless she agrees to what you buy? how can she control that either?
I'm another who would tell her to forget it, all this palaver over £30, you'd think she was giving you a fortune, tell her to forget it and buy it for yourself. it's not worth the drama.

I don’t get it, does she buy the gift for you to the value of £30?

Hmm, sounds as if she wanted to be the sole purchaser of The Gift.

Years ago my MIL gave me a similar sum for a birthday jumper. I went out and bought a much more expensive jumper but didn’t tell her I’d spent the extra money. For the rest of her life every time I wore it she’d mention what a lovely jumper she’d bought me. I think it would have spoiled it a bit for her if she’d known.

Actually I’ve just got it out for tomorrow.

However she didn’t sound quite as difficult as your DM. Perhaps in future you should ostentatiously donate the cash to a charity of her choosing.

Tell your mum you don't want her to buy you a gift. It makes literally no sense at all.
If it makes you feel any better OP last Xmas my mum sent my husband expensive wine, gave my oldest son £50, gave my youngest son a £30 robux card, my youngest daughter got a similar value toy... my oldest daughter (only 11) and I were both sent a pair of her 2nd hand earrings... not nice expensive ones, just tat she had lying around.... and I don't even have pierced ears! ... and she's not senile or anything just borderline abusive and hates that I don't rely on her for anything.

Aah interesting. Maybe that’s why the mum was having a freak out