For a bit of background - DH and I have been together since our teens and now have 2 DDs (both under 5yrs). He works a high paid demanding job and barely sees me and our girls during the week due to long working hours. I'm a SAHM and don't earn anything, he pays for and sorts out all bills/finances. I do all domestic jobs and take care of DDs/school/life admin etc.
My issue is that he feels because he earns all the money and works hard, he can do whatever he likes with his free time. When he's in family mode he's a brilliant dad, DDs adore him and life is pretty perfect. But frequently he goes for nights out drinking with his friends, "lads" holidays, days out to festivals/car shows etc, and is often completely uncontactable during these - I know he feels like I'm nagging but he won't read or respond to any messages or calls and I end up worried as well as pissed off when he doesn't come home. The following day will be hungover in bed and feeling sorry for himself. He also does a lot of client entertaining for work involving drinking so might go for a boozy lunch, stagger in the front door early evening and collapse on the bed asleep fully clothed. I know he gets carried away drinking and finds it hard to leave because he's the life and soul of the party - a thing I love about him when it's the right occasion or when we were younger but now we're in our late 30s with two little girls and that party life feels like a memory for me but apparently not for him.
We've spoken about this many times together, both in arguments and calmly, and he just doesn't think he's doing anything wrong. He'll acknowledge he should keep in touch with me when he's out and apologise but says at the time he just doesn't remember (which I don't really believe), he says I should arrange to go out with my friends if I want to (which is not so easy as we're all mums and I'd have to sort childcare), and it always comes down to "I work so hard all week and I just need to relax and enjoy myself". I've gone through stages too where I've been convinced he's having an affair because he's so sketchy about where he's been, isn't contactable, his friends don't know where he is either - I've straight out asked him during an argument and he laughed it off and denied it.
I'm kind of sick of having a teenager for a husband but don't know what to do.