Refusing to see DP

[Candleyankee]

DP and I don’t live together. This year he has been doing really well in work and has finally been promoted to the highest management under the owner. However, I barely ever see him anymore. For about 6 months how often I see him has been been dwindling. As it currently stands, I get to see him over night once every 3 weeks.

Last night I had had enough. I told him that he needs to focus on building up his staff so he can have more time off and I will see him when he can commit to regularly spending time together again Like we used to.

He’s devastated that I’ve said this and says he is working hard to secure us a good life but the emotional toll it is taking on me is too much now. I’m going weeks at a time wondering when I’m going to be thrown a crumb of time to see my partner and not knowing when is really hurtful. I feel second best to someone else’s business and I’m worried that it won’t even be worth it as our relationship is slipping away in the mean time.

AIBU for saying this to him? I feel like not seeing him at all instead of wondering when I’ll get to is the best way to protect myself emotionally.

Why can't he see you overnight? Does he work shifts?

where does he live? How far away from you? What hours is he doing that he cannot see you apart from every three weeks?

It's okay to end a relationship for any reason. Sounds like he prioritises work over other aspects of his life.

His job is several towns over. He can sometimes be working until 1/2/3 in the morning doing 12 hour days.

The owner has sacked the shitty upper management along with some staff that were not very good and given the promotion to DP. He’s now managing the whole business with the opportunity to run it how he likes and hire competent staff. It’s too good an opportunity to pass up, so I don’t want him to leave. I’m proud of him. He has major imposter syndrome that he’s got this far but he’s talented and he deserves this job. I don’t think he wants to prioritise it over our relationship. Just at the minute there’s not enough staff to cope without him being there to run it. There’s no middle management as he hasn’t replaced himself yet from a lack of candidates.

Assuming this is a catering / restaurant type of job? Very anti social hours then . Can you travel to him at all. Otherwise maybe you have to stick it out until he is more established if you want to continue the relationship. It would be a shame if you couldn't reach a compromise.