I am 40. As a child, I suffered a great deal of physical but more importantly mental abuse from my mother. My father witnessed it but stayed mum as he is helpless. My mother has never acknowledged any of her behaviour and has always blamed it on circumstances but mostly on me. All instances of me standing up for myself have gone down as me abusing her. She has held on to it all this while. We don't talk about it much but she refers to it all the time. I also have a younger sister who was saved all her ire as her focus was on me. My sister has also abetted this behaviour when she could as this has firmly established her as a favourite.
As a adult, I have build a very successful career and have a loving family. My sister is poorer though not poor. My parents massively bear a grudge against me for not helping my sister and setting her up as well as me. I have helped every time I was asked but it was never acknowledged. Their expectation of helping her to have things I do not have myself does not make sense to me.
All this constant blaming and gaslighting takes a toll on my mental peace and sometimes brings out the worst in me too. I would love to not be in contact with any of them. But do not find the courage. My mother has a history of mental health issues and has always threatened me with suicide. As a child this was the hold she had on me. She did take an overdose of sleep medication once when i was a teenager though it wasn't medically serious. If she does do something of this sort, I may regret this forever. I also do not want to take my dd 8 to not have any contact with her family. They are also getting older and I do not want to shirk my responsibilities towards them. My family is very old fashioned and this will go very badly. Please help.